To ask if you're married or in a relationship, do you have sex every day?

[ViVi6]

NC for this for obvious reasons.

DP wants sex daily and would love it to be multiple times a day, whereas I'm happy with twice a week or every other day at most.

If a day or two has gone by and we haven't done it I can tell he's becoming frustrated which makes me feel inadequate for not wanting it more.

The obvious answer would be that he "helps himself" on those occasions which I'm sure that he does but that doesn't mean he won't still want sex.

What is your normal?

Been together 18 years and married 13 and it’s two or three times a week if we aren’t knackered by the week.

Neither of us demand it of the other if they other isn’t up for it.

Zero in 9 and a half years........

Genuinely curious re the people who have sex everyday... are you averaging it out? I just can’t imagine it.. the UTIs I would get! What about on your period? After a dodgy takeaway? When you’re hung over? After a bereavement?! There’s so many little annoying bits of life that get in the way.. I just can’t imagine being horny throughout them!

@Regularsizedrudy

Nope, not averaging it out, we just do it every day. I dont get UTIs and I dont get bored. Of course I wouldnt be up for it if I just had a bereavement but most people dont have bereavements on a weekly basis do they? (I hope!).

I stopped drinking about 8 months ago and I'm quite into fitness now so no hangovers and I feel great most of the time, in fact, regular exercise has sent my libido through the roof! I find sex relaxes me and really takes my mind off the little annoyances so for me, its no different to taking a relaxing bath or whatever other people do to unwind/destress. This just happens to be my method!

30 years together and probably 3-4 times a month.

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter those things don’t happen to me weekly that’s not what I meant. What I meant is when they do happen it would stop me having sex.. and if the same applies for others then I would say they are having sex most days but not everyday.
I suppose the difference is little annoyances put me off whereas others would fine sex a remedy for them...

Have it pretty much everyday. But it's what suits you not what suits everybody else.

@Regularsizedrudy

Genuinely curious re the people who have sex everyday... are you averaging it out? I just can’t imagine it.. the UTIs I would get! What about on your period? After a dodgy takeaway? When you’re hung over? After a bereavement?! There’s so many little annoying bits of life that get in the way.. I just can’t imagine being horny throughout them!

I have it everyday usually. Never had a UTI. Put a towel down if on period. After a dodgy takeaway probably would be one of the rare days we didn't do it. After a bereavement probably as it's a good stress reliever.

Every day? Hell no.

Usually a couple of times a week. At the moment I'm pregnant and he's working away a few days a week, plus we're both doing long hours. It's once a week but only because I make the effort to initiate. I've no doubt it'll pick up again and neither of us are angry or resentful. Communication is key.

I suppose the difference is little annoyances put me off whereas others would fine sex a remedy for them

I think this is the key. Annoyances might put some people off sex but for me, it relaxes me and takes my mind off the annoyances.

We are all different, just as some people love shopping and others despise it, some people love running, others despise it, some people love yoga, others find it annoying etc..

We're in our mid 40's. Together 20+ yrs with 1 adult child at home & 2 primary school aged kids. We've got similar libido levels, but his is a bit higher. Mine increased slightly in my 40's after last child. He'd love it everyday esp. in the mornings, but accepts it's not practical. Plus, I'm not a morning person. I don't like being woken up when still tired and almost always struggle to get out of bed. He does DIY if necessary. We do it 2-3 times per week with a couple of quickies thrown in sometimes. Quickies were a must after having last 2 younger kids. Long drawn out sessions are rare. We both work. I'm up for it more, when not so tired. Then it can be everyday/every other day. We sometimes go without for over one week, when life is extra busy. We avoid penetrative sex when I'm on my period. I recently read an interesting article about tiredness having a negative effect on female libidos. Communicate and come to a compromise. Whatever works for you both. It doesn't always have to involve penetrative sex. Maybe try sexy lingerie &/or role play outfits occasionally. Communicate and share what you both like best and then maybe do more of that. As another poster said, ensure your partner is also sharing the load re. the kids so you're not so tired.

I’ve recently lost 12 1/2 stone and completely changed my body shape. I’ve been with
My husband for twenty years and our sex life is on fire! - when I was bigger it was almost non existent - due to how I felt tired and insecure. Now there is role play, dress up, sexy texts when we are apart. We are both
Enjoying each other. If one of us was not in the mood no big deal - as long as the love and affection is there

Awesome, @Mutherfooker1977 ! Sounds totally fab and congratulations on getting so much healthier and happier!

Awesome, @Mutherfooker1977 ! Sounds totally fab and congratulations on getting so much healthier and happier!

Been together a few years, sex most days. It's important to us both.

why suspicious? its normal.. i havent had sex for 20 years... apart from a short lived relationship about 3 yrs ago (lots of foreplay) i havent hadanything... the last relationship put me off for life, made me sore... i have no interest in it whatsoever... doesnt your v get sore after so much sex? whats the secret to a high libido?

Lots of lubrication - natural or applied.

the elixir of life is in natural lubrication..lube just ruins it

i had a bad relationship and terrible sex.. 3 yrs ago and i still am put off... ie not interested.. no libido... i would understand a few months of not wanting sex.. but how come 3 yrs later and i am still turned off?

why suspicious? its normal

That’s the thing though- what’s “normal” for you isn’t normal for others. Everyone has different libidos and not everyone gets sore after sex. I don’t. That doesn’t mean I am “abnormal” and it doesnt mean you are “abnormal”. We are just different is all.

does anyone get random orgasms multiple in the middle of the night... not even having a dream or anything.. i just wake up and i am humping the bed... can have up to 5 orgasms. happens about 3 or 4 times a year

i have some kind of what they call 'spurt' through sex, but never an actual orgasm.. not like a full body orgasm...

Together 26 years, 4 DC (youngest age 9) and we manage at least once a week very very quietly. Would be more if the older DC weren’t up all night as no college/work!

We’ve gone through feasts and famines so to speak through the years.

I’d not put up a partner who sulked and got antsy if

@viccytwiffy

does anyone get random orgasms multiple in the middle of the night... not even having a dream or anything.. i just wake up and i am humping the bed... can have up to 5 orgasms. happens about 3 or 4 times a year

No, but I do get them during exercise sometimes.

It is bizarre, it first happened about two years ago while I was digging in the garden. I sort of got this strange (as in out of place) feeling and sensation and sat down on the step thinking I might be going to faint. Then I recognised what it was. I had to sit there until it all calmed down.

It has happened about half a dozen times since. Once or twice when I was running, a couple of times when I've been out on a long walk, and when gardening. I can't work out why it happens.

Posted too soon!

I’d not put up with a partner who sulked and got antsy if I didn’t put out to his requirements. Certainly wouldn’t find him attractive enough to want to shag him either.