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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to reschedule our trip to fit around a football match?

163 replies

custardcat85 · 06/07/2020 23:31

Exactly as the description says really. DH has just text me while at work to say we need to move our trip as there is a football match right in the middle of the week we are due to be away. We are traveling across country (6hours) to see my family so not like we are going abroad. However, this would mean that my time with my family is cut down from 7 days to 4-5 days.

His reasoning is that it's not really cutting down time as we can still drive there very early and have a full day doing things then on the last day drive home late after a full day. I will be very heavily pregnant when this happens so do not want to spend 6 hours in the car after a busy day. I don't think I am being unreasonable at all, especially as it's a match he will watch on TV and can't even be at. He says I am being selfish because I'm refusing to compromise. He says he has 14 days off and only wants one day to do his own thing, he doesn't want to watch it while we're away as he wants to be with his friends. He doesn't see the issue that this one day is right in the middle of our planned trip. I guess I'm just upset as I feel he is prioritising football over our family. I have 2 older DC and am pregnant with his first child. Maybe I'm being hormonal about it but I feel like he needs to grow up.

OP posts:
sadannie · 07/07/2020 13:16

Wait if it's not to watch it in person then wtf, he is being ridiculous.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 07/07/2020 13:18

Up pop all the men to mansplain how important football is, and how op is being VU to deny him the chance to watch it

What a depressing attitude; no wonder the women's game struggles for the attention it deserves when the assumption among many women is that football is all for the boys :(

INeedNewShoes · 07/07/2020 13:20

Who are the men posting? Is it beyond your comprehension that there are female football fans?

Or even females who aren't football fans but can still manage to understand why watching this match with friends might be important.

I'm not a man, I'm not a sports fan of any type, but I understand why the OP's DH is so keen to watch the match with his friends.

ilovesooty · 07/07/2020 13:25

@INeedNewShoes

Who are the men posting? Is it beyond your comprehension that there are female football fans?

Or even females who aren't football fans but can still manage to understand why watching this match with friends might be important.

I'm not a man, I'm not a sports fan of any type, but I understand why the OP's DH is so keen to watch the match with his friends.

Good point.
ineedaholidaynow · 07/07/2020 13:42

How heavily pregnant are you? I had to do a 5 hour car journey when 8 months pregnant. DH was driving. I was so uncomfortable and I lost count how many times we had to stop to have a wee!

I don’t think I would have coped if I had to drive for that long, I would have been so uncomfortable behind the wheel, but then I am a short arse.

I wouldn’t be too impressed that a group of them are meeting up in a house, can guarantee after a few pints there will be no social distancing going on.

ScrapThatThen · 07/07/2020 14:03

There's a compromise here. Find a way to make it work for both of you.

chillied · 07/07/2020 14:16

This is a T.V. match that he can watch from anywhere, could even arrange to watch remotely with his mates from anywhere. The outcome of the match will be the same whether he watches it or not. It's not like an event he's missing that he would actually be taking part in. So it's just a mates meet up he misses out on, and really plans are plans and already made

So OP do not change your travelling plans for this. Get the whole 7 days with or without him.

Iggi999 · 07/07/2020 17:49

If I were the sister I wouldn't be too impressed about someone staying in my house just after spending a day/most of a day with 6 friends all in a house together. I'm not in England, but is that not against the rules?

UltimateWednesday · 07/07/2020 18:06

Osnt mansplaijing when a man assumes a woman needs something explain just by virtue of being a woman? Surely when those women cheerfully admit they don't get it, it's just explaining even if it was by men

yellowfishestoyou · 07/07/2020 21:01

You have to tell us what team it is now OP lol

Brefugee · 07/07/2020 21:16

Up pop all the men to mansplain how important football is, and how op is being VU to deny him the chance to watch it

i get so sick of this crap: i love football and arrange my other activities around not missing home games. It's been horrible not getting to watch live matches. This year is all up in the air anyway so a bit of give and take wouldn't go amiss.

It is a COMPLETELY different proposition watching a play-off final with your mates or alone in your wife's family's home - will he even be allowed unfettered uninterrupted access to the TV?

It sucks having to compromise sometimes - but from DH's point of view the compromise is a really rotten one. How about travelling down to where you're going - and he goes home for a day and watches with his mates.

And then, of course, you have goodwill in the bank when you want to do something.

letmethinkaboutitfornow · 15/07/2020 20:45

@custardcat85 - any update OP? ☺️

RoosterPie · 29/07/2020 20:03

@letmethinkaboutitfornow I was wondering too! Maybe he was a Forest fan and it was all fine Grin

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