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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get this driver fired?

267 replies

TinyPigeon · 05/07/2020 11:01

DAILY MAIL AND SUN ARE FACIST SCUM

Help me think this through.

I had an Argos delivery this morning which came early while I was still in bed. I stuck my head out of the window and asked the driver to just leave it on the step and I would get it in in a bit. I thought he would leave it and drive away as others have.

I brought the baby downstairs and settled her and then went to bring the parcel in, so a couple of minutes later. I opened the door and the driver was still there. I apologised because I didn't realise he'd be waiting for me. But also cringed because I was still in my nightshirt and had been feeding Dd so it was fairly unbuttoned.

Obviously Id thought he was gone and was just grabbing parcels off my step so wasn't super bothered about dignity.

However I just got a text from a private number saying "Hi thank you for putting a big smile on my face for the rest of the day your a beautiful woman xx".

I'm really grossed out. There's noone else it could be. I'm freaking that this man knows where I live and annoyed that he has saved my number. What should I do? I don't want to lose someone their livelihood. I'd told DH how friendly he was Envy

Can I complain? Should I?

OP posts:
Rosebel · 05/07/2020 14:45

What exactly would you charge him with?

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 05/07/2020 14:47

Why not? Everyone makes mistakes.

A mistake would be butt dialling her.

He deliberately and knowingly looked for her number, composed a text, used that number and sent it. Completely breaking data protection and being inappropriate. Going against all training and best practice rules and overstepping boundaries.

What exactly is the mistake there?

MilerVino · 05/07/2020 14:51

I'm old and all this 'modern day' being offended does my head in. Get him sacked?? FFS?

It's not about being offended, it's about a breach of data protection. If you give your personal details to a company for them to deliver a product, are you happy for any employees who have access to that data to use them for their own personal ends? The form of contact isn't the issue, it's using the data for personal contact at all.

Do you want Yodel, Hermes and DPD deliverers contacting you at whatever hour they choose, about whatever they feel like, because they've chosen to download your contact details and use them for their own personal reasons? What he has done is illegal because he has breached laws regarding data protection.

Chickychickydodah · 05/07/2020 14:57

Save a copy of the text and block the number

winterchills · 05/07/2020 15:16

So inappropriate!!

IncrediblySadToo · 05/07/2020 15:20

@Marpan

That’s Creepy.

But he knows where u live so I wouldn’t.

I generally don’t answer the door anymore if I’m home alone.

Where do you live that opening the door for a delivery scares you?

I presume you don't mean because of covid?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 05/07/2020 15:21

This thread is depressing to read. Makes me so mad to see people defending this as a mistake. This wasn't a mistake. This driver will be well aware he is not allowed to use customers private details for personal use. He also has a brain, and is capable of working out that this is inappropriate.
Also the company can easily find out if the number belongs to their employee. I'm guessing the op doesn't mean private number, as in withheld, but private as in, not a company number. His employer will have his number on record.

LadyofTheManners · 05/07/2020 15:22

Hell yeah report him, dirty bastard, he's working for a company and that is gross misconduct, sexual harrassment and breach of data protection and if they try and fob you off say you will report them to the relevant authorities.
I would also of with 101 as he knows where you live.

MuddlingMackem · 05/07/2020 15:23

What MilerVino said, absolutely report. Data breach which is very serious and totally inappropriate content in the text.

Not your problem to worry about his wellbeing, as the old saying goes, 'If you can't do the time, don't do the crime', so he should have thought of that before texting you.

NoMoreReluctantCustodians · 05/07/2020 15:29

It wont be on you if he gets sacked. And he might not get sacked at all.

Or he might not get sacked for one moment of stupidity. He might get sacked because he has form for repeatedly preying on women. Does anyone really believe this is a one-off?

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 05/07/2020 15:42

Does anyone really believe this is a one-off?

Obviously. It must've been the few buttons that were his undoing and made him forget all training and common sense .Hmm

Alsohuman · 05/07/2020 15:43

@LadyofTheManners

Hell yeah report him, dirty bastard, he's working for a company and that is gross misconduct, sexual harrassment and breach of data protection and if they try and fob you off say you will report them to the relevant authorities. I would also of with 101 as he knows where you live.
Dirty bastard? Seriously? He only said she was beautiful! And you’d give the police the best laugh they’d had since this side of lockdown? MN is utterly bonkers sometimes.
EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 05/07/2020 15:47

Report

I had similar I ignored until he left me the most vile pornographic note late at night (I was a few days away from giving birth) reported to his work (they were not interested) so reported to the police they certainly were interested and gave him an official warning

We have for too long excuses men’s predatory behaviour because we have been conditioned to be nice, we don’t need to be nice

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 05/07/2020 15:48

I as told by the police I should have reported him straight away

So yes the police do take this seriously as it’s a form of harassment

LadyofTheManners · 05/07/2020 15:55

We yes report him it's sexual activity, OP said her shirt was unbuttoned

FlamingoAndJohn · 05/07/2020 15:56

@imsooverthisdrama

Why ? He called you beautiful, inappropriate yes but hardly a sacking offence. Reply back telling him you didn't take kindly to the message and block . Then forget about it and get on with your day .
Fuck me. This is why women still get told to ‘cheer up’. All we are there for is to look nice for men.
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 05/07/2020 16:03

And you’d give the police the best laugh they’d had since this side of lockdown?

Really? Isn't it good to know what the police would think of women reporting a gdpr breach, and inappropriate contact from a strange man, who knows your address and personal details.

Alsohuman · 05/07/2020 16:03

@LadyofTheManners

We yes report him it's sexual activity, OP said her shirt was unbuttoned
It’s nothing of the sort. This kind of hysteria is ridiculous. It was completely inappropriate. Not sexual, not dirty, not pervy.
BoingBoingyBoing · 05/07/2020 16:06

It's depressing how many people are trying to excuse this behaviour and discourage the OP from reporting it and even worse trying to guilt trip her into not doing so because it would be her fault if he lost his job over it. Fuck him, he should have thought of that before sending the fucking message.

The message is bad enough, we shouldn't be standing for this kind of shit.

However, this guy has made use of a phone number which has been provided to his company on good faith and on the understanding that it's to be used for legitimate reasons. He has either copied the number over to his personal phone (which means he still has it on his phone) or made use of a company phone to contact her with a totally inappropriate message. And how many other times has he done it?

Fucking hell, how can this not be reported to his employer?

BoingBoingyBoing · 05/07/2020 16:09

@Rosebel

What exactly would you charge him with?
Article 5 (data processing principles) states that personal data must be: 
Processed lawfully, fairly and transparently.
Collected only for specific legitimate purposes.
Adequate, relevant and limited to what is necessary.
Accurate and, where necessary, kept up to date.
Stored only as long as is necessary.
Processed in a manner that ensures appropriate security.

Pretty sure sending someone a creepy as fuck text message doesn't count as a specific legitimate purpose when ordering something from a shop.

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 05/07/2020 16:27

"I would play dull first of all just to make sure - i’d reply and say ‘well thank you but who is this?’. THEN report the fucker when he confirms."
This.

I don"t see how you can complain when you don't know for sure it was him. Find out for definite first.

NotMyTimes · 05/07/2020 16:43

I was so ready to say YABU when I was reading your OP. I was ready to say that it's probably his job to wait to see it taken in because otherwise if the parcel wasn't there he would be blamed. I was ready to tell you it's not his fault you opened your door in an unbuttoned night shirt. I was even ready to tell you that you should've just gone down and opened the door in the first place when he was there and not stuck your head out the window because delivery people have strict policies and he could be reprimanded for not seeing the customer take it in and you were making someone's life and job a hell of a lot more difficult and wasting his time by making him stand there.

However YANBU at all to report him for that text. 1. It's creepy, and sexual harassment 2. It's a massive data protection breach

He should have acted professionally by either not mentioning it at all or looking away and apologising for not being clear he was still there. What he did was beyond unprofessional, creepy and predatory. 100% report him.

Oh and to the posters saying it may not have been him, could be a creepy neighbour ect. If OP reports it his employer has the duty to investigate. Through this investigation they will be able to find out if he was the one who sent the text or not so he won't face repercussions (beyond and investigation that will find him innocent) if it wasn't him.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 05/07/2020 16:43

Technically its likely to a breech of data protection which should really be reported however if I’m totally honest I’d probably just be flattered and let it ride.

Quirrelsotherface · 05/07/2020 16:47

Imagine it was for someone else and he'd just made a mistake

NoMoreReluctantCustodians · 05/07/2020 16:49

Technically its likely to a breech of data protection which should really be reported however if I’m totally honest I’d probably just be flattered and let it ride.

Sigh