To get this driver fired?

[TinyPigeon]

DAILY MAIL AND SUN ARE FACIST SCUM

Help me think this through.

I had an Argos delivery this morning which came early while I was still in bed. I stuck my head out of the window and asked the driver to just leave it on the step and I would get it in in a bit. I thought he would leave it and drive away as others have.

I brought the baby downstairs and settled her and then went to bring the parcel in, so a couple of minutes later. I opened the door and the driver was still there. I apologised because I didn't realise he'd be waiting for me. But also cringed because I was still in my nightshirt and had been feeding Dd so it was fairly unbuttoned.

Obviously Id thought he was gone and was just grabbing parcels off my step so wasn't super bothered about dignity.

However I just got a text from a private number saying "Hi thank you for putting a big smile on my face for the rest of the day your a beautiful woman xx".

I'm really grossed out. There's noone else it could be. I'm freaking that this man knows where I live and annoyed that he has saved my number. What should I do? I don't want to lose someone their livelihood. I'd told DH how friendly he was

Can I complain? Should I?

Faux eyed naivety because some people don’t think he’s a pervert or a sex offender? Who think it’s just a idiotic bloke who’s made a stupid, ill advised and inappropriate mistake?

It's more likely that the employer will establish who the phone belongs to - which isn't hard. They can match it against their own records or just phone it.

They can then ask their employee if they have been using clients' personal details for anything other than their intended purpose. HR can investigate and if they find the employee in breach of data protection legislation they can go through disciplinary procedures accordingly.

"A man has done something wildly inappropriate that makes me feel uncomfortable/disgusted/unsafe. Am I a bitch/in the wrong/unreasonable to report it? Will it be my fault if he suffers the natural/legal consequences of his actions? Should I feel guilty about that?"

Hey Google: Why do we still need feminism?

This thread is so sad. Misogyny from men is bad enough. Misogyny from women is a betrayal.

Anyone who has ever been a breastfeeding mother will know that occasionally showing more boob than you'd like to comes with the territory. It is not an invitation for men to look at or speak to you in a sexual way, not should you have to be flattered (Christ almighty) that a man gave his approval of your appearance. I wonder if those of you telling the OP she's being "dramatic" have ever been made to feel vulnerable by a man.

OP, what did you decide? I think reporting is a good idea - he likely won't get fired if it's a one-off lapse in judgement, but if he has form for harassing female customers, then the company needs these customers to report before they can do anything about him.

It was wildly inappropriate, creepy and stupid and he broke the GDPR rules but harrassment? Seriously? This really downplays the experiences of the women who suffer a hell of a lot more than receiving a text message

@Livingoncake

This thread is so sad. Misogyny from men is bad enough. Misogyny from women is a betrayal.

Anyone who has ever been a breastfeeding mother will know that occasionally showing more boob than you'd like to comes with the territory. It is not an invitation for men to look at or speak to you in a sexual way, not should you have to be flattered (Christ almighty) that a man gave his approval of your appearance. I wonder if those of you telling the OP she's being "dramatic" have ever been made to feel vulnerable by a man.

OP, what did you decide? I think reporting is a good idea - he likely won't get fired if it's a one-off lapse in judgement, but if he has form for harassing female customers, then the company needs these customers to report before they can do anything about him.

This! It shocks me when women won't stand up for other women. I felt vulnerable when I breastfed and hated doing it in public so knowing someone had behaved like this to OP made me so angry.

This really downplays the experiences of the women who suffer a hell of a lot more than receiving a text message

Much of the reason for encouraging the OP to report this is because we know this could escalate. It's part and parcel of the same thing that leads to more serious problems, because he's ignoring boundaries and treating the OP like an object their for his pleasure.

And besides which, I don't think we should downplay the experience of this kind of intrusion. on the grounds that worse things happen at sea. We know that this could escalate - it's why one text message can creep you out so much, because you're aware of how much worse things can get.

I would report him. He doesn't have access to your personal details for this use. Argos need to tighten up their training if he wasn't aware this was inappropriate from a GDPR point of view.

I feel a very slightly differently about the driver who followed up a longer conversation with a PP with an invitation to drinks, but backed straight off and deleted the number. I wouldn't report on that basis but this was a simple comment on your physicality and that he'd got a good look at your chest.

You should not feel responsible if he has talked himself out of a job. Whatever training he may or may not have had, he should not have alluded to his gratification with a customer and if he is too entitled to realise that then let this be a lesson. I doubt it's the first time, feels too risqué to have come out of nowhere.

And a PP mentioned retaliations. Go straight to the police if there are any incidents.

meant to say, I would report him rather than engage and tell him to stop texting. Let his employer do their job here rather.

ohtherewearethen The fact that worse things happen to other people is a bad reason for not reporting bad things that happen to you.

Are some bad behaviours more damaging than others? Of course. Should I put up with being randomly groped because other women get raped? Should I put up with being followed home because other women experience forced entry to their homes? Should I put up with a creepy text from a strange man smoked to do a job because other women are stalked and harassed long-term?

I don't think so.

@JulieTheObscure - you've really misunderstood my comment. Receiving one text message (as creepy and inappropriate as that message was) and calling it harrassment (as one PP did) undermines some of the dreadful things women go through every day. I have never once said that you shouldn't report being groped because some women get raped FFS. What a leap to make!
If you went to the police, for example, saying you are being harrassed by a man and you feel unsettled/intimidated/threatened, etc, then you explain that you received a text saying you've made someone's day, yet you don't actually know for sure who the text is from, can you not see that the police might think that the next time a woman reports being harrassed they might not take it as seriously?

Receiving one text message (as creepy and inappropriate as that message was) and calling it harrassment (as one PP did) undermines some of the dreadful things women go through every day.

A one off incident can be harassment, it doesn't have to be sustained for it to be classed as such.

Really shocked by these responses! The OP’s right to feel safe and experience professionalism from those in jobs that require them to visit her house matters more than the feelings of some twat. They aren’t going to fire him based on hearsay: if the OP reports him, they will investigate, find that he a) breached data protection rules and b) was inappropriate towards and customer then he likely will be fired. He deserved to be sacked because it is a sackable offence. It is NOT the OP’s concern or responsibility in terms of what happens to him after that. He can’t just do whatever he wants and get away with it because he feels like it. Bloody hell.

*inappropriate towards a customer and then he likely will be fired

*deserves to be sacked. Stupid phone!