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AIBU?

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Original poster

To get this driver fired?

267 replies

TinyPigeon · 05/07/2020 11:01

DAILY MAIL AND SUN ARE FACIST SCUM

Help me think this through.

I had an Argos delivery this morning which came early while I was still in bed. I stuck my head out of the window and asked the driver to just leave it on the step and I would get it in in a bit. I thought he would leave it and drive away as others have.

I brought the baby downstairs and settled her and then went to bring the parcel in, so a couple of minutes later. I opened the door and the driver was still there. I apologised because I didn't realise he'd be waiting for me. But also cringed because I was still in my nightshirt and had been feeding Dd so it was fairly unbuttoned.

Obviously Id thought he was gone and was just grabbing parcels off my step so wasn't super bothered about dignity.

However I just got a text from a private number saying "Hi thank you for putting a big smile on my face for the rest of the day your a beautiful woman xx".

I'm really grossed out. There's noone else it could be. I'm freaking that this man knows where I live and annoyed that he has saved my number. What should I do? I don't want to lose someone their livelihood. I'd told DH how friendly he was Envy

Can I complain? Should I?

OP posts:
GiraffesAreBeautiful · 05/07/2020 12:41

Why is everyone assuming he’ll be fired? The consequences of this inappropriate behaviour are down to the employee, not the complainant. He was way out of line, if it was he driver. But that’s for the employer to determine once a complaint has been received? Just state the facts as you know them, OP. Don’t assume anything.

And don’t reply to the text!

If he did send the text, he deserves all he gets.

Topseyt · 05/07/2020 12:42

@Louise91417

Is it really worth the hassle with little evidence..if he is the creep responsible he'l probably get the face slapped of him in not so distant furtureHmm
I personally would think that it most definitely IS worth the hassle.

People like this creep rely on others not thinking it is worth the hassle so that they can continue with their harassment of OP and probably other women too.

ArnoJambonsBike · 05/07/2020 12:44

Did you mean "fascist" or "racist"?

MadameMeursault · 05/07/2020 12:46

Just discussed this with DH to get a male perspective. He’s grossed out and we both say definitely report. What his employer does with the info is up to them. If he gets fired it’s not you that got him fired, it’s his behaviour. And he can’t spell “you’re”!

Gannicusthemannicus · 05/07/2020 12:48

Putting to one side how creepy it is, he has breached GDPR, which is taken very seriously.

This is someone who will have been informed and trained on the importance of handling the sensitive data that he is in possession of every day (names, contact numbers, addresses) and has taken advantage of that responsibility anyway. 100% report.

This is hardly a momentary mistake or an accident on his part that you are getting him in trouble for - he has specifically found your number, typed out a message, and chosen to go through with sending it. The company needs to be aware.

opinionatedfreak · 05/07/2020 12:49

I had an issue with a delivery driver on Friday - he made a mistake and hit my property.
I took some photos of his van and asked for his details.

He totally screamed at me "you will make me lose my job", "you are making a fuss about nothing", all the while I was trying to explain that I wanted his details while he was still there and that I would assess the situation calmly before deciding how to proceed.

I was really upset/ wobbly all of Friday evening about it.

But actually, once I've rationalised it, I didn't do anything wrong and if he had been nice about it and given me his details when I asked once I'd had time to check my property over and ascertain that the damage was minimal I probably wouldn't have done anything about it.

As it is I've sent an email to his company which is primarily about his attitude and verbally abusive behaviour. I accept that accidents happen but there is no reason to behave like that when you are in the wrong.

SnackSizeRaisin · 05/07/2020 12:50

I would report. It's not you who is getting him sacked. It's not your decision - it's up to the company and they may just retrain him or warn him instead. If he does end up losing his job, it's due to his behaviour not because of you. That is a disgustingly inappropriate text! Ugh!

bigdecisionstomake · 05/07/2020 12:50

I would report it if I were you OP - calmly and factually, as you don't have any evidence it was him, however likely it is that it was.

Apart from the fact it is deeply unpleasant and PPs are correct, no woman should have to make excuses for the way a man's entitled actions make her feel, it is also a significant data breach and the company need to be aware that their employee is putting them at risk of action from the ICO which could end up being a massive fine.

A while back another delivery company (possibly Deliveroo but can't remember the exact details) ended up with a fine when a delivery driver used a mobile number he had for delivery to contact a female customer and ask her out. Companies these days assume full responsibility for the actions of their employees when it comes to confidential data and should have trained him appropriately.

lemmathelemmin · 05/07/2020 12:51

He has your number and your address.

Definitely report it.

BlueBrian · 05/07/2020 12:51

So you're going to tell Argos you have got a text from an unknown person, but you think it might be one of their drivers, but you can't prove it, don't be surprised if they just laugh at you.

Thorilicious · 05/07/2020 12:52

I don't understand people saying don't report. He has potentially broken data protection, and therefore the law. The only person responsible for that and the consequences is him.

LemmysAceCard · 05/07/2020 12:52

I had this once and I reported the driver.

I was walking back to work one lunchtime, I was mid 30’s and was wearing black trousers and ankle boots, flat soled as I don’t do heels. I walked past a UPS truck and the driver was unloading and the conversation went like this

Him - Nice boots
Me - err thanks
Him - do you want me to lick them for you
Me - 😮 😡 Fuck off you dirty perv.

When I got back to work I reported him. Not because I was felt intimidated or anything as you can from my response I can look after myself, and I have a gob on me, but because I was worried that if he was delivering to vulnerable women or young girls who didn’t know how to handle it. What if he was in their house and tried being a fucking creep to them? He was brave enough to be shouting down the street to me what would he be capable of with no witnesses.

The onus was not on me to keep quiet incase he lost his job, the onus was on him not to be a fucking creep.

UPS took it seriously. A manager rang me back a couple of days later, full details off street and a description of the driver, the manager actually said “I know who you mean” so it sounds like they have had other complaints about it.

MrsKingfisher · 05/07/2020 12:53

It's not ok to send texts at all as a delivery driver unless it's regarding your delivery. Unprofessional and could make someone else feel quite vulnerable.

He could be someone who does this a lot and so him losing his job could protect other women.

Why don't some men still not realise this sort of thing isn't 'friendly' it's bordering predatory and it shouldn't be bloody happening.

imsooverthisdrama · 05/07/2020 12:55

Why ?
He called you beautiful, inappropriate yes but hardly a sacking offence.
Reply back telling him you didn't take kindly to the message and block .
Then forget about it and get on with your day .

LemmysAceCard · 05/07/2020 12:56

Complaints about him not it. I mentioned my clothing incase anybody thought I was hearing thigh high leather boots which could be worthy of mention.

FuckPolitenessSSDGM · 05/07/2020 12:57

Do Argos do their own deliveries? If not you need to contact the delivery company. Contact Argot too and complain but ultimately it will be the delivery company who employ him and will look into it.

I'm shocked at how many people on this thread are making excuses for him. It's completely inappropriate of him. Any man who thinks this is appropriate behaviour is either dangerously stupid or dangerously predatory.

WorraLiberty · 05/07/2020 13:02

@imsooverthisdrama

Why ? He called you beautiful, inappropriate yes but hardly a sacking offence. Reply back telling him you didn't take kindly to the message and block . Then forget about it and get on with your day .
Breaching data protection is a sacking offence.
Fairenuff · 05/07/2020 13:03

@BlueBrian

So you're going to tell Argos you have got a text from an unknown person, but you think it might be one of their drivers, but you can't prove it, don't be surprised if they just laugh at you.
BlueBrian really, really, really does not want you to report OP.

I wonder why that is?

haggistramp · 05/07/2020 13:04

I think getting him fired is a bit much. Both you and the driver were inappropriate. You went to the door in a state of undress. How would you feel if he reported you to the police? I'm certain if the sexes were reversed and a man answered the door in a state of undress to a female driver posters would be baying for blood. Id put it down to stupidy, both you and the driver and move on.

BoingBoingyBoing · 05/07/2020 13:04

Posters suggesting that it "might not be him" are off their nuts.

Of course it was him.

Toastandjams · 05/07/2020 13:06

Many many years ago something similar happened to me but had I
A different outcome. I never occurred to me that it was wrong.
Early morning a postman knocked on the door. I lived upstairs and was having a shower.
I quickly jumped out of the shower and put a dressing gown on and run downstairs, with water still dripping of my hair, face etc.
We normally had older postal lady so I was not bothered if I look like wet rat.
However on that day there was a young postman I never saw before,so I signed for the parcel and shut the door, thinking nothing if it.
The very next day I had a letter address to me- saying how much he fancies me and that he could not forget about me..
Asking me out etc..
I gave it chance as being single and young and he was quite my type.
We went out for few months until he decided to go back to his ex.
I still talk to him occasionally on FB and he sometimes mentions how the dressing gown and wet hair with water all over me did the trick.
That time I did not see anything wrong with it, but I can see you were a different situation.

FizzFan · 05/07/2020 13:06

She was not in a state of undress. She had a few buttons open on her nightie as she is a BFing mum and she was within her own home. She wasn’t flashing at him fgs

AuntyPasta · 05/07/2020 13:08

It’s quite depressing how many ‘just shrug it off’ type messages the OP has received. The only reason he had the OP’s number was because she had to give it to Argos when she ordered and he had access to it to make the delivery. Why should the OP be concerned about his job when he obviously isn’t?

WorraLiberty · 05/07/2020 13:11

@BoingBoingyBoing

Posters suggesting that it "might not be him" are off their nuts.

Of course it was him.

Could easily have been a pervy neighbour to be fair.

That's why a few of us have asked the OP if any of them have her phone number.

Not that she shouldn't report to Argos just incase, as this guy just might have had previous complaints.

Rosebel · 05/07/2020 13:11

Unfortunately I agree with those who have said the company will apologise and then forget about it (they might send you a voucher or something). They won't sack him, it's easier for them to just ignore it or possibly have a word with the driver.
I don't work for Argos but a supermarket who do home delivery. Any complaint from the public is put up on a board in the picking area but the managers never say anything about it.
They'll probably tell you they will investigate but can't tell you the outcome but they won't.
I'd just try and forget about it.