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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get this driver fired?

267 replies

TinyPigeon · 05/07/2020 11:01

DAILY MAIL AND SUN ARE FACIST SCUM

Help me think this through.

I had an Argos delivery this morning which came early while I was still in bed. I stuck my head out of the window and asked the driver to just leave it on the step and I would get it in in a bit. I thought he would leave it and drive away as others have.

I brought the baby downstairs and settled her and then went to bring the parcel in, so a couple of minutes later. I opened the door and the driver was still there. I apologised because I didn't realise he'd be waiting for me. But also cringed because I was still in my nightshirt and had been feeding Dd so it was fairly unbuttoned.

Obviously Id thought he was gone and was just grabbing parcels off my step so wasn't super bothered about dignity.

However I just got a text from a private number saying "Hi thank you for putting a big smile on my face for the rest of the day your a beautiful woman xx".

I'm really grossed out. There's noone else it could be. I'm freaking that this man knows where I live and annoyed that he has saved my number. What should I do? I don't want to lose someone their livelihood. I'd told DH how friendly he was Envy

Can I complain? Should I?

OP posts:
GertrudeCB · 05/07/2020 12:07

Complain , the nasty creep has stolen your personal data for his creepy ends. Disgusting.

Fairenuff · 05/07/2020 12:07

@BlueBrian

Yeah go ahead and report him, the company will just make sympathetic noises and then completely forget about your complaint, go on waste the money on a phone call if it makes you feel better.
See OP - your feelings are not even worth the price of a phone call.
DopamineHits · 05/07/2020 12:10

I wouldn't report him (he deserves it, scuzzy twat) but I would reply omg hahaha as if, you didn't even register.

Horrible advice. Responding to him is an interaction, it means he'll likely respond back, probably quite aggressively if it's a rejection. And he has her address and phone number.

Report, and block. And ignore the hysterical narratives about how he's a poor bloke who never did anything to anyone. If it's the first time, he'll probably get a warning. And that should stop a second time...

Alsohuman · 05/07/2020 12:12

@BlueBrian

Yeah go ahead and report him, the company will just make sympathetic noises and then completely forget about your complaint, go on waste the money on a phone call if it makes you feel better.
This.
YouUnlockedTheGateAnd · 05/07/2020 12:12

I have worked on the managerial side of this kind of thing.

Id be Fucking furious if I found one of our staff had done something like this. Even if the customer expressly didn’t mind, it’s bringing the company into disrepute. We might not have sacked for a first offence (data protection aside) but we sure as hell want to know what our staff were up to out there.

All those saying ‘oh poor man, don’t report him, it will be YOUR fault he gats sacked and his children statve‘

Tough shit. His responsibility. He should have thought of that first.

And yes, we have removed people for similar. In my industry it is contrators or agency staff, not employed staff, but we requested the company remove them immediately and that individual would be explicitly unwelcome on any of our projects ever again.

Quarantimespringclean · 05/07/2020 12:15

I agree you should report. If it’s a one off and his work is otherwise good he’ll probably get a well deserved warning. If there have been other reports he might well lose his job and he will deserve it.

DopamineHits · 05/07/2020 12:17

Yeah go ahead and report him, the company will just make sympathetic noises and then completely forget about your complaint, go on waste the money on a phone call if it makes you feel better.

Don't call. Email, with a screenshot.

WorraLiberty · 05/07/2020 12:18

OP, do any of your neighbours have your phone number?

WeAllHaveWings · 05/07/2020 12:19

Inappropriate, very creepy and should be reported.

The subsequent actions by his company and the consequences to him are not your responsibility.

FizzFan · 05/07/2020 12:20

He sent her a text.

And? It was still creepy and inappropriate, and a breach of OP’s personal data, which was provided for a specific purpose. You believe it would be her fault if he was fired - which makes you an apologist for poor male behaviour in my book.

Shawbles · 05/07/2020 12:20

Echoing PP, you should report but phrase it carefully because you can't be certain it is him off a random phone number. I assume you can screenshot with the text and the sender's number in the same image, that way they can check it against their records and take whatever action they deem necessary.

BoingBoingyBoing · 05/07/2020 12:23

"Oh just forget about it, complain if he tries contacting you again, otherwise just move on, chances are, you'll never hear from him again."

And people wonder why things never change, never get better and that people are still subject to this kind of shit.

TerrapinStation · 05/07/2020 12:23

How do you withhold your number on a text? Is it phone specific, I've tried to so this only phone (android) and it won't let me.

I'd love to know as there are times when I don't want to give my number out.

BlueBrian · 05/07/2020 12:26

You're off your head, you get a text from a private number and and based on that pace of flimsy evidence you think a company might sack one of their staff, the guy would have them for unfair dismissal.

EmperorCovidula · 05/07/2020 12:26

You need to notify Argos and they will need to report the breach.

EmperorCovidula · 05/07/2020 12:27

@BlueBrian Argos will most likely have his number on file and will be well within their rights to fire him for GDPR breach.

Alsohuman · 05/07/2020 12:29

@TerrapinStation

How do you withhold your number on a text? Is it phone specific, I've tried to so this only phone (android) and it won't let me.

I'd love to know as there are times when I don't want to give my number out.

On an iPhone you can change the number that shows to anything you want.
wheretonow123 · 05/07/2020 12:30

I wonder did he see you from above and deliberately stay around until you came downstairs and not leave the delivery there as you ad requested. To me thats a bit creepy in itself.

If its a withheld number can you respond to it? I am not so sure.

If it was me I think i would write back to say that you do not deem the message to be appropriate and for him to delete your number. Any further communication you will report him to his employers.

letsgomaths · 05/07/2020 12:32

As for why the OP wrote the title "AIBU to get this driver fired" - I expect that if she had instead titled it "AIBU to report this", she knew that the MN pearl-clutching replies would be that he might lose his job, so she decided to skip that stage, to show she already knew. It's a shame she then got replies such as "you don't have the power to get him fired". Re. "private number", perhaps you mean an ordinary mobile phone number, i.e. not the company's number, OP?

I would, and have reported this kind of thing, with no shame at all; ditto drivers of company vans or lorries who drive aggressively or dangerously. If they get fired, they should have thought about their actions first.

Greenkit · 05/07/2020 12:33

I agree this thread is depressing Yea this poor defenceless man, was hypnotized by your womanlyness and you just made him text this inappropriate and disgusting text to you.

The one place you should feel safe is your home.

Report him

Topseyt · 05/07/2020 12:33

Definitely report it. He was being creepy, not friendly.

My DD (17) has just reported a colleague at the large supermarket chain where she works for sending her inappropriate messages on Instagram. The store manager is dealing with it.

I’d be willing to bet that this creep who leered at and messaged you would not have done it to another man, and I said as much to my DD earlier when she mentioned what had happened to her.

These arse wipes should not be allowed to get away with it. We must at least try to tackle it or this behaviour will just continue unchecked.

SauvignonBlanche · 05/07/2020 12:35

@TinyPigeon

this behaviour with yourself and other customers some of whom may feel even more vunlerable than you

This is what is bothering me. What if i lived alone, or was otherwise more vulnerable than I am. There have been points in my life when this would have really upset me.

I think it's on Argos wether they fire him or not, not on me. For all I know he's had three warnings from the company for doing the same thing already.

Exactly!
Louise91417 · 05/07/2020 12:38

Is it really worth the hassle with little evidence..if he is the creep responsible he'l probably get the face slapped of him in not so distant furtureHmm

ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 05/07/2020 12:39

Women are not to blame when men get caught doing inappropriate,offensive or illegal things.
If his life is ruined,as if!, it'll be ruined because of his actions,not because OP complained about them.

FizzFan · 05/07/2020 12:39

It’s not OP’s job to gather or assess the quality of the evidence. All she has to do is pass on the info she has and the employer will take it from there.

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