My husband left last week and he thinks his rent will come over our mortgage?

[Coronasaurus]

That basically, I've always been a sahm and he's always paid our joint mortgage. But he's now saying that when he finds a flat, as long as he can pay that nothing else matters 😕, even if it means me losing the house. He says that's ok as the kids can then go live with him! Please help? Can I stay in my home ?

You should also try a benefits calculator and see if there's anything you can claim meantime.

@mushypeasarethedevilsfood

she gets £1800 uc, £700 from her part time job, £192 child benefit. She has been pleasantly surprised

I'm gutted work full-time and DW works partime we are all short of that

@rwalker why are you gutted? A single parent working part time would need financial support.

Op could you speak to the bank and see if they have any advice.
I would be inclined to take a mortgage holiday-just for breathing space.

You need to get a lawyer and see what the judge says. My sister’s ex tried to pull this same shit a few years ago and now she’s in the house until the children are adults and he does indeed now pay the mortgage along with child maintenance (though he’ll get the equity in the house when it’s sold eventually I think). She does work part time though to cover some of the bills and her own living expenses.

My friend’s husband tried this and she gets £1800 uc, £700 from her part time job, £192 child benefit.

24k in handouts, I think we’ve been doing it all wrong, there I was thinking we needed to work for a living.

@MushyPeasAreTheDevilsFood

she gets £1800 uc, £700 from her part time job, £192 child benefit. She has been pleasantly surprised im not surprised!!!!

Op please don't think everyone would get this amount on UC, it completely depends on circumstances, number of children, rent etc. If you stay in the mortgaged home then there is no help on UC with mortgage payments, if you left the house and rented then you would get help with rent but if your house was sold and you ended up with more than 16k in equity from the house sale you would not be entitled to any UC unless that equity was being put into another property. Anyone getting £1800 On Uc ( that amount id actually above the benefit cap for anywhere outside of London), is either paying a very high rent, has lots of children or has a child with disabilities. You will very likely get nothing like this amount. I'm just saying this so you don't think this is a 'normal' amount to get. get a decent benefit calculation done from CAB or similar.

@m0therofdragons

Have you done a universal credit quote to see what you’re entitled to? My friend’s husband tried this and she gets £1800 uc, £700 from her part time job, £192 child benefit. She has been pleasantly surprised and he’s furious she’s coping without him.

I'm guessing your friend rents? Op potentially/probably won't get that much

@DontStandSoClose the posters friend does work, she just obviously doesn't earn much
Are you having a little break from reading the Daily Mail?

You need a SHL, obviously.
Talk to two or three solicitors, check their fees and choose carefully.
As far as I understand, if it's a joint mortgage you're jointly and severally liable, so he is still liable for the debt even if he moves out.
Is it definitely a joint mortgage? If you were a SAHM when it was taken out it might have just been in his name?

Anyway. Find a solicitor. Your local citizens advice may have a list of local ones including any that offer a free initial consultation.

Meanwhile advicenow has some helpful guides on divorce and financial settlement.

@DontStandSoClose agreed.

This thread has highlighted to me why I’ve never given up my job. I work full time and earn equally with my husband. We’ve just moved house as the childcare bills have now fallen but we put off moving so I could work and pay childcare. I know many don’t have a choice but where you can work, you absolutely should as much as you can to afford to stand on your own two feet.

OP your husband sounds like a shit. I hope you get it sorted soon.

@m0therofdragons

Have you done a universal credit quote to see what you’re entitled to? My friend’s husband tried this and she gets £1800 uc, £700 from her part time job, £192 child benefit. She has been pleasantly surprised and he’s furious she’s coping without him.

£192 child benefit is the amount for four kids ! This is why the UC is so high. I imagine they were all born before the two child limit came into force. Op will likely get nothing like this amount, as most people wouldn't.

@allfalldaown47

I'm know people need support but clearing 2700 a month is the equivalent of 43k a year salary

Unless he earns a lot, he is likely to end up being compelled to pay child support or the mortgage but not both. He will choose the mortgage because getting the house repossessed isn’t in either of your interests. Especially now, it will cost you both money at a time when you need it the most.

Petty retaliation isn’t going to result in either of you winning. You need to apply for benefits and child support. You should also speak to a solicitor to ensure that whatever you could be entitled during the separation. They can also tell you whether it is a good move or a bad move to start working before a final settlement is reached.

[quote rwalker]@allfalldaown47

I'm know people need support but clearing 2700 a month is the equivalent of 43k a year salary[/quote]
It's nearly £2000 in benefits and the rest is earnings. Yes it's ridiculous and it's because that person will be receiving 4 child elements on the claim.

OP, really sorry you are facing this.

You need to see a lawyer ASAP. Take all the relevant paperwork and all the details you have of your finances, including your H’s salary.

You are entitled to half of everything, maybe more to allow for the children,

Do they have to pay tax on that ridiculous benefit sum?

@YardleyX

Do they have to pay tax on that ridiculous benefit sum?

Unlikely to be paying tax on £700 a month of earnings.

Yes get advice and stay in the house. I know it’s hard but start to think about what employable skills you have also. You can do ghisv

This! You can do this

You’re the primary carer of your children. And you’re a SAHM. So they rely on you for the majority of their care. The children would stay with you if you did lose your home, because wherever you go they go.

There’s some odd advice on here.

You need to go solicitors for a free/reduced rate first session, most offer this, you can go to as many as you like and get as much info as possible.

He has to pay child support, there is a calculator on the CMS website which will tell you how much.

You will be entitled to UC, there is a calculator online to work out.

In addition he will need to pay you spousal maintenance as you are a SAHM, how much and for how long will depend on your children’s ages and his earnings, your current lifestyle etc. It will not be paid forever but will either cover your current mortgage until the children leave home or you may need to downsize to a smaller place.

Don’t let him bully you, buy a book about financial settlements in divorce and arm yourself with as much info as possible. Get ready for a fight as he sounds an arse.

Good luck

I'm guessing your friend rents? Op potentially/probably won't get that much

No - but OP will get a larger work allowance. She'll be able to earn £503 before anything is deducted from UC.
In the earlier scenario, the poster had 3 children (not 4) so likely to be entitled to maximum UC of £1160 plus rent. With the lower work allowance of £292 and then the 63% taper rate applied to her earnings she'd be getting £900ish plus rent in UC.

As regards the DH, regardless of whether he lives in the property he is still liable to make mortgage payments and its not a clever move on his part to simply default on them.

I’m sorry you are in this situation op, the same thing happened to my mum when I was 15 and it broke her. I swore there and then I would never ever be financially dependent on a man and now I’m a high earner as a direct result of this experience driving me and have taught my daughter the same.
I hope you can find employment and build a future for yourself and your children, it must feel like the rug has been pulled from under you.