My husband left last week and he thinks his rent will come over our mortgage?

[Coronasaurus]

That basically, I've always been a sahm and he's always paid our joint mortgage. But he's now saying that when he finds a flat, as long as he can pay that nothing else matters 😕, even if it means me losing the house. He says that's ok as the kids can then go live with him! Please help? Can I stay in my home ?

I think it's very much a Mumsnet thing to describe incomes of £40k + as if it's the bare minimum needed to get by

It’s much more ‘mumsnet’ to ignore that UC generally top up low earners to the level of a ‘good’ full time wage, but it’s fine for them to complain about their income whilst others earning the same income from an actual job have NOOOO right to complain and are SOOO lucky and privileged !

Obviously...🤔

Op I would say the main things you need to watch out for are to be careful that if the house is sold and you have more than 16k equity, you will not be able to claim Universal credit unless that equity is being put into another property within a certain period of time like shared ownership. It's unlikely you are going to be able to buy another house with potentially low earnings. I'm not saying that to be mean but if you haven't worked for some years and we are facing a period of mass unemployment, then it may be difficult to secure well paid employment. then again I do not know what your career background/ skills are. You do need to consider that if you get a lump sum from the divorce then you may not be able to claim Universal credit immediately. If there is no equity in the houses then there's no problem.
Personally I would try to stay in the house until the kids are 18.and try to pay the mortgage with a combination of benefits, child maintenance etc. Then when they are older , sell the house or hopefully by then you may be able to be earning enough to buy him out of the house. Speak to the mortgage lender and see if you can extend the mortgage paying a lower amount each month. Good luck. People in your situation perhaps working part time can do quite well out of Uc as you get a decent work allowance and then CM on top is not counted at all and does not affect what benefits you get.
Also make sure that as soon as he leaves, you apply for council tax reduction, you will get a single occupancy reduction and extra council tax support.

@Pumpertrumper

I think it's very much a Mumsnet thing to describe incomes of £40k + as if it's the bare minimum needed to get by

It’s much more ‘mumsnet’ to ignore that UC generally top up low earners to the level of a ‘good’ full time wage, but it’s fine for them to complain about their income whilst others earning the same income from an actual job have NOOOO right to complain and are SOOO lucky and privileged !

Obviously...🤔

Some people can get large amounts on UC, it's usually because they have high rent, lots of children born before the two child cut off date or they have a disabled person in the household which lifts the benefit cap and gives them extra elements. Most people don't get amounts nearing 2k a month but some do. It is pretty good for working people especially at the moment as the standard element has ben raised due to covid. I am quite surprised at how much people get.

I should add it 's not so good for single people without kids !

Look on entitled.com to get an idea of what you can claim.

@Nat6999

Look on entitled.com to get an idea of what you can claim.

There's not really a lot of point doing that without knowing what will happen with the house, because as previously highlighted if op gets equity of more than 16k from the house there will be no entitlement to the only benefit available to her to claim which is UC.

Technically though Babyroobs if OP gets more than £16k equity from the house sale and she intends to use it to buy another house, the money will be disregarded for 52 weeks IIRC.

@AnotherEmma

Technically though Babyroobs if OP gets more than £16k equity from the house sale and she intends to use it to buy another house, the money will be disregarded for 52 weeks IIRC.

Yes I've explained that upthread. Maybe shared ownership could be an option, although would still need an income coming in. I thought it was 6 months it's disregarded, could be wrong though.

Yes I suggested shared ownership a while back.
I think it's a good solution if you can find something; I think they're pretty few and far between.

Anyway, there is likely to be at least a few months between STBXH moving out and the house being sold, during which time OP won't have the money and will be able to claim UC, so it's definitely worth her using a benefit calculator to see what she'll get.

@Babyroobs

Yup, I see it all the time on here. Two people with the same income (say £1800pm)
person A gets it from a FT job and CB no other top ups or help. Has to pay own childcare (needed because of FT job) so more outgoings...etc

Person B gets it from a PT job topped up with UC and CB. Requires less childcare, gets additional help/funding due to low income status...etc

Somehow Person B thinks person A (actually in the same if not worse financial situation than them) is super privileged and has no right to complain I know many people who work FT and are either the same or worse off than others who opt to work PT and get topped up. Drives me nuts.

@ivykaty44 luckily we are long past the idea in this country of "taking in foster children" for money. Looked after children deserve the best quality care from dedicated people who are subject to rigorous assessment. They are not in any way a money spinner for people who fall on hard times.
What a repugnant suggestion.

@wherethewildthingis the only spin is what’s in your post

I think you need to find a good solicitor to split your assets...in a marriage, this is usually 50/50. I would suspect you could argue family home so you can stay there until you remarry or kids move out...

Get legal advice. UC will not pay a mortgage, only rent. You would have to find the mortgage payments yourself. Harsh, but true.

@user1482956724

Get legal advice. UC will not pay a mortgage, only rent. You would have to find the mortgage payments yourself. Harsh, but true.

Uc would give her the higher work allowance though when op gets a job so there would be extra help there.

I had the same (though I had a part-time job).
You should be entitled to Child Maintenance, you can check the amount he should be paying you online and if he isn't paying the correct amount, CMS will do a calculation for you and then he has to pay.
You should also be entitled to Universal Credits. Again, you can do a calculation online.
You should do these ASAP as they do not back-date entitlement prior to you notifying them.
Also check if you are entitled to Free School Meals for your children as this is a big help and opens up entitlement to other things too.
You will most likely be entitled to legal aid if you decide to go down the legal route (I had no choice as ex-husband had got himself a solicitor before he even left!).
I had threatening letters from ex-husband solicitor telling me that there was no-way that I could stay in the house, once he wrote it 6 times in one letter! Four years on, the children and I are still here and the house is in my name. It was a hell of a fight though, I won't lie.
It is unlikely that the split will be 50:50 so please don't agree to that, you could get 70:30, 60:40? Depends on lots of factors.
Please also check that he hasn't transferred the TV licence and/or house insurance as you need to be covered for these.

"You will most likely be entitled to legal aid if you decide to go down the legal route"

No.

There is no legal aid for divorce unless there is evidence of domestic abuse.

If you are a good SAHP who wishes to remain a SAHP whilst earning some money and you have the drive, dedication and emotional stability to offer looked after children then fostering is a wonderful idea.

To pretend that money plays No part in people’s decision to become foster parents is ludicrous. It’s is a job as much as it is a vocation. However, money should never be the Main reason to do it. If that makes sense.

You need to go take legal advice. CAB can often get u free half hour. Ultimately, without an order telling him to pay more, his statutory obligation is only that which CMS calculate.

So, with his child maintenance and any benefits/other income, if you can afford to stay in house then you can ask for a deferred sale (until youngest finishes secondary education). If you can’t, then it would need to be sold and then you argue how equity should be split.

You can sometimes get spousal maintenance but that isn’t compensatory and is based on him having surplus income.

Looked after children require stability, and a foster carer who is emotionally available and resilient. Local authorities wouldn't approve a foster carer who is going through a major life transition like a separation or divorce, and certainly not if the applicant was dependent on the fostering income to hang on to a home! It's a very unpredictable income and not well paid for what it involves, it's not something people go to as a way of making a bit of extra money.

OP, first things first, I'm so sorry to hear that you are in this situation. It sounds as though your husband is being very selfish at the moment but the really important thing above money and everything else at the moment, is your children. Regardless of their age, please try not to mention anything about their father in anything but a positive way. It really is important for them.

Then, tomorrow if you haven't already you need to contact the DWP and make a claim for whatever the benefits are that you might be entitled to. Then, go and talk to your bank. If you have a joint account, take out what you will need for the next couple of weeks then ask them to put a stop on the account so that you won't find yourself with no access to money. It does mean that you won't befind able to access the money either so you will need to open a bank account in your own name. Then make an appointment with a solicitor who will provide services under whatever the free system is not sure if its still legal aid or not.

It's probably unrealistic to think you can find work at the moment if you would need child care, but perhaps you could start to think about what job you could do.

And good Luck!

You need to see a solicitor. They often offer a free 1 hour appointment. Tell your ex it will not benefit him if he doesn't pay a mortgage that he is liable to pay. He's being a dick.

When I separated from my ExH i needed UC for a little while. I was earning £1200, got £137 CB and around 600-700 in UC for 2 kids and my mortgage was about £550pm. I also got help with childcare fees.

My advice would be to definitely start the UC application process asap as it is very drawn out and takes a good 6 weeks to get the first payment.
Get all the important paper work and documents together and see a solicitor. In our divorce my ExH ended up signing over the house to me and I took on all our debt.

You need to see a solicitor. They often offer a free 1 hour appointment. Tell your ex it will not benefit him if he doesn't pay a mortgage that he is liable to pay. He's being a dick.

When I separated from my ExH i needed UC for a little while. I was earning £1200, got £137 CB and around 600-700 in UC for 2 kids and my mortgage was about £550pm. I also got help with childcare fees.

My advice would be to definitely start the UC application process asap as it is very drawn out and takes a good 6 weeks to get the first payment.
Get all the important paper work and documents together and see a solicitor. In our divorce my ExH ended up signing over the house to me and I took on all our debt.

You need to see a solicitor. They often offer a free 1 hour appointment. Tell your ex it will not benefit him if he doesn't pay a mortgage that he is liable to pay. He's being a dick.

When I separated from my ExH i needed UC for a little while. I was earning £1200, got £137 CB and around 600-700 in UC for 2 kids and my mortgage was about £550pm. I also got help with childcare fees.

My advice would be to definitely start the UC application process asap as it is very drawn out and takes a good 6 weeks to get the first payment.
Get all the important paper work and documents together and see a solicitor. In our divorce my ExH ended up signing over the house to me and I took on all our debt.