My husband left last week and he thinks his rent will come over our mortgage?

[Coronasaurus]

That basically, I've always been a sahm and he's always paid our joint mortgage. But he's now saying that when he finds a flat, as long as he can pay that nothing else matters 😕, even if it means me losing the house. He says that's ok as the kids can then go live with him! Please help? Can I stay in my home ?

You need to see a solicitor. They often offer a free 1 hour appointment. Tell your ex it will not benefit him if he doesn't pay a mortgage that he is liable to pay. He's being a dick.

When I separated from my ExH i needed UC for a little while. I was earning £1200, got £137 CB and around 600-700 in UC for 2 kids and my mortgage was about £550pm. I also got help with childcare fees.

My advice would be to definitely start the UC application process asap as it is very drawn out and takes a good 6 weeks to get the first payment.
Get all the important paper work and documents together and see a solicitor. In our divorce my ExH ended up signing over the house to me and I took on all our debt.

The council have a duty of care to rehouse you. Seek advice. Shelter, refuge and a solicitor. If there is abuse involved including emotional go to women's aid. There is the right help there. Tbh him threatening to make you homeless is abuse anyway. Take a look at this link

www.womensaid.org.uk/

@allfalldiown thats seems a high amount of universal credit ? But could be childcare etc in that i guess

Mushypeas. The £700 will be taken into consideration for UC. She will get £1800 pm but that includes her wage, not on top of it. I'd imagine a substantial % of that will go on rent/mortgage. There is a benefit cap, remember.

@Coronasaurus if you’re including HB in the UC that can’t be used toward the mortgage.
You will also need to source funds to buy him out and get a remortgage which you won’t be able to get because you aren’t working. You need to prepare to move. Sorry.

OP if the mortgage is joint you are both liable but what that sadly also means is that you accept the responsibilities to pay if he isn’t.
My ex did the same and it is perfectly legal. You need to speak to the bank and tell them to freeze the mortgage so that he can’t do anything without your consent and vice versa - this is important! If you have a draw down mortgage he could mess with it.

He sounds delightful. You WILL get through this. Read the book runaway husbands and be prepared for a marathon. I bet he’s playing the victim and it’s all your fault too?! Try to minimise any unnecessary conversation with him, even friendly seeming ones.

@ivykaty44 wtf is wrong with you?! Take in foster kids as a means of income?! No. Just no.

@ThistleTits

Mushypeas. The £700 will be taken into consideration for UC. She will get £1800 pm but that includes her wage, not on top of it. I'd imagine a substantial % of that will go on rent/mortgage. There is a benefit cap, remember.

This was an example of someone else claiming Uc. There is absolutely no point comparing the amount of Uc people get as everyone else's will be different depending on circumstances. If op has 2 kids and a mortgage she will get approximately £926 a month + child benefit + any child maintenance from her ex.

I'm in the US and went through a similar situation with my husband. He decided to move out and did not support the kids physically or financially. I decided to stay in the house. I got a job and got him to agree to a minimal amount of support for a few years. I am still living in the house 15 years later. I was incorrectly advised that I could not sue for child support. Don't let other people tell you what you "have" to do and don't panic. Decide what is right for yourself and your kids and then make a plan to make that happen. I stayed because this was the best place to raise my kids and I learned to live on a shoestring budget. It was worth it. You can do this as long as you know what you want in the first place. Take some time to make that decision and go from there.

Meeeh do you really think foster Carers should work for free? For many it’s a long term job and fits in as they love children and the challenge. Most councils are crying out for decent foster carers and there is nothing to suggest that op would be excellent- but if it’s not for them then they won’t apply

@reginafalange2020

Good advice to get moving with UC but the op has already applied.
It takes exactly 5 weeks from start date to first payment date presuming op provides all information they ask for within the timescales given.

The online system is really clear. Log in (do not lose/forget log-in details), view to-do list, complete all outstanding to dos.

It’s quite straightforward and it tells you when the first statement will be generated by (provides calculation of entitlement) and when the latest date you can apply for a New Claim Advance by.

I read OP's post not as what will happen to her in the long term, but a cry for help about how she handles the situation in the short term.
Every divorce is fact specific. I strongly disagree that SM is rare as hen's teeth and have never in 25 years + of practice as a divorce lawyer (half in a top divorce practice in London doing "big money" cases and half in a provincial firm doing cases involving a large range of income/capital) come across the principle that the children should stay in the family home until they are 18.
I do work in a lot of different areas and have found in the last 3 years that there is a huge disparity between the regions as to what outcome you can expect (for both money and child contact). 20 years ago lifetime SM was standard and still is for some cases, but there has for some time been a big swing in the other direction.
OP it is impossible to give advice about the short term. The biggest question is what he is earning and could he afford rent plus the mortgage in the interim? If yes then you could expect to receive interim maintenance to allow you to remain in the home while you thrash out the main deal. No court would see you on the street or in emergency local authority housing. Whether or not you may receive SM thereafter and for how long depends on a range of factors and we don't know anything about the wider financial picture to help you with that.
I agree that free advice is not widely available. I'm asked all the time if I give it. I say no but often end up having a telephone consultation which I do not bill for if the client doesn't then need or want my services. But it is billed for if they then go on to instruct me because that first session is packed with legal and practical advice. I do not advertise or market myself at all, all my work is word of mouth recommendations. Either way you really need to go and see a solicitor.

You will need to sell the house.

The kids will not live with him: in this country mothers are deemed the Primary Carers for children and as such the house should be split 70/30 in your favour.

Get a solicitor and take him for everything including pensions. You will need to downsize and possibly go back to work but don't panic just yet... contact universal credit ASAP and apply, go from there as you need an income.

Don't let that bastard scare you into thinking you will be homeless, destitute and lose the kids, it's all bullshit.

Dont get mad, get everything!

Please don’t think you will have to sell the house. This is awful advice because no-one on here knows enough about your or your ex’s circumstances to make such a statement.

Go to a solicitor. You’ll be ok.

I went through similar 2 years ago- not even married- I kept the house- bought him out. My full time wage, CM and tax credits were all taken into account on mortgage application. It’s not impossible. But obviously depends on your individual circumstances.

Happy to PM you my solicitors letter if you like.

@m0therofdragons

Have you done a universal credit quote to see what you’re entitled to? My friend’s husband tried this and she gets £1800 uc, £700 from her part time job, £192 child benefit. She has been pleasantly surprised and he’s furious she’s coping without him.

A month?

If you do decide to stay and pay the mortgage yourself, please make sure you get this all tied up legally. If you pay the mortgage and don't do this, when you come to sell, even if it's 20 yrs time he can still claim a % of the equity, even if you've paid it for years. You can have a deed of trust (I think it's called) which means he can only claim a % of the equity as it stands now, not years down the line after you've paid it all.

Best advice is to speak to a solicitor and find out where you stand and what your options are.

I guess also if he defaults on his mortgage payments, sooner or later that's going to show up on his financial checks so a potential landlord is going to avoid him like the plague.
As for the children living with him. Tell him you're going to take a fortnight break, so he can come back to live in the house for a while and practice being a full time dad 😆
But seriously (or was I being serious?) as long as he's happy to lose any equity in the house, his credit rating and any respect he might have had from his family, then tell him to go ahead with his master plan.
Meanwhile, you go ahead and get support as previously mentioned. I don't know for sure, but I imagine if you're having to live on UC someone official will be looking for him to put his hand in his pocket.

Some really crap advice on here.

I got maintenance recently. He isnt a high earner.
You don't necessarily need to sell. If you stay in the current home its not a new mortgage application as such from scratch and yes numerous lenders take benefits into account.