My husband left last week and he thinks his rent will come over our mortgage?

[Coronasaurus]

That basically, I've always been a sahm and he's always paid our joint mortgage. But he's now saying that when he finds a flat, as long as he can pay that nothing else matters 😕, even if it means me losing the house. He says that's ok as the kids can then go live with him! Please help? Can I stay in my home ?

Your comment is so judgemental. Not everybody on universal credit uses the system to not work and sit in their arse. Some people simply cannot afford childcare and cannot live without universal credit despite working part time.

I think in this instance, it's the amount - £2700 'take home pay' equivalent to a salary of £40k plus - that's causing raised eyebrows, not the principle of some people being in genuine need of universal credit.

@garbagegirl, the Daily Mail website's over there >>>>>>

Tatty poo

@RunningAwaywiththeCircus There's no point expressing this - no one listens to actual solicitors on here. People just listen to whoever on here tells them they're entitled to the most and they use that to create a bitter divorce where the husband should cover the full mortgage and bills, all the children's costs, and pay child maintenance on top. He should only see the children every other weekend and in a few years time OP will write a thread about how her ex is preventing her from getting a job because only sees the children every other weekend.

I think in this instance, it's the amount - £2700 'take home pay' equivalent to a salary of £40k plus - that's causing raised eyebrows, not the principle of some people being in genuine need of universal credit.

But if that has to feed and clothe four people, it's not a huge amount at all. At the risk of stating the bleeding obvious, it's two parents earning £20k each.

@Pelleas

Your comment is so judgemental. Not everybody on universal credit uses the system to not work and sit in their arse. Some people simply cannot afford childcare and cannot live without universal credit despite working part time.

I think in this instance, it's the amount - £2700 'take home pay' equivalent to a salary of £40k plus - that's causing raised eyebrows, not the principle of some people being in genuine need of universal credit.

I do understand its a high amount, and it did shock me. But if she was eligible for that amount and needed it to keep a roof over her childrens head then of course shes not going to turn it down is she. I honestly dont blame her!

@Pelleas

Your comment is so judgemental. Not everybody on universal credit uses the system to not work and sit in their arse. Some people simply cannot afford childcare and cannot live without universal credit despite working part time.

I think in this instance, it's the amount - £2700 'take home pay' equivalent to a salary of £40k plus - that's causing raised eyebrows, not the principle of some people being in genuine need of universal credit.

I do understand its a high amount, and it did shock me. But if she was eligible for that amount and needed it to keep a roof over her childrens head then of course shes not going to turn it down is she. I honestly dont blame her!

@RunningAwaywiththeCircus

It’s not that rare around here!

I’m divorced. I gave up a good career but not high flying. My children are 7 and 9. I have SM until they are 18.

He’s high earning but not anywhere close to banking (he’s £150k but £50k bonus)

My solicitor and, more importantly his solicitor!, didn’t seem to think it was unusual.

There's no point expressing this - no one listens to actual solicitors on here. People just listen to whoever on here tells them they're entitled to the most and they use that to create a bitter divorce where the husband should cover the full mortgage and bills, all the children's costs, and pay child maintenance on top. He should only see the children every other weekend and in a few years time OP will write a thread about how her ex is preventing her from getting a job because only sees the children every other weekend.

I don't think no-one listens to lawyers is quite fair but it's definitely a trend. I'm a 16 years PQE lawyer at a city firm and once had someone on here pick a row with me on a basic point of contract formation.

The law is an area where a little bit of knowledge can be dangerous.

@thedancingbear

I think in this instance, it's the amount - £2700 'take home pay' equivalent to a salary of £40k plus - that's causing raised eyebrows, not the principle of some people being in genuine need of universal credit.

But if that has to feed and clothe four people, it's not a huge amount at all. At the risk of stating the bleeding obvious, it's two parents earning £20k each.

I thought the same. I claim UC, i work part time also but i dont get as much UC as that, i get around 800 (which includes housing costs) and then have my wages from part time job. I just about manage! If i could work full time, pay for childcare, claim UC and afford to keep a roof over me and my DDs head i bloody would but unfortunately i can't.. well until she starts school full time that is.

I thought the same. I claim UC, i work part time also but i dont get as much UC as that, i get around 800 (which includes housing costs) and then have my wages from part time job. I just about manage! If i could work full time, pay for childcare, claim UC and afford to keep a roof over me and my DDs head i bloody would but unfortunately i can't.. well until she starts school full time that is.*

not claim

There’s some odd advice on here

No offence but suggesting someone get their legal advice though a mix of free sessions is pretty unwise Too !!!!

I paid my soliciter about £600 in total when we split

This included a face to face , some advice and reviewing our parenting plan

It’s was fairly cheap as (a) we weren’t married but (b) I’d already massively done my Homework and knew My Rights

knowledge is power

It means that you go from being scared “i can’t believe he said that , can he ?’

To ‘stupid ducking idiot hasn’t got a clue , not only will that not fly , but he will lose 1000s if he tried that route ‘

Family law is shifting more and more
To child centred approach

So have always ‘what’s best for the children’ and have that guide you , not whats ‘fair’

I work in Universal Credit, it really isn’t something that people should be envying.
The poster who put that amount on is being disingenuous. Rent and childcare can push a payment that high but the actual money that the claimant gets to live on really isn’t anything to jack in a job for.

Plus there’s a lot of jumping through hoops for people on benefits. Benefits now are designed to be the absolute bare minimum to live on.

If you don’t believe me go do a benefit calculator for yourself, there are plenty of them online.

The vast majority of our claimants are just people like you and I that, through no fault of their own, have found themselves in tough life circumstances where they need that extra bit of support so that they can put food on the table.

To the op- get yourself a good solicitor, stop listening to the advice on here, especially AIBU, it’s quite clear than many posters are just trying to put the boot in.
Get in touch with CMS (child maintenance service) and UC today. The quicker you claim the quicker it will be sorted. Also you can apply for SMI (Support for Mortgage Interest Payments) after 9 consecutive UC payments. It’s repayable but might be something you wish to consider.

Good luck.

I was paying towards the mortgage. My ex just stopped paying everything. I negotiated to pay interest only and was able to claim some brief element of housing benefit when I was also made redundant essentially we sold and split the equity which was actually very little due to the 2008 crash. It temporarily played havoc with my credit rating. If he's all about the money and trying to make you homeless then perhaps start preparing to.leave the place and focus your energies on a new home, life etc. He has no intention of making sure his children are safe.

I do understand its a high amount, and it did shock me. But if she was eligible for that amount and needed it to keep a roof over her childrens head then of course shes not going to turn it down is she. I honestly dont blame her!

Yes, I understand that - I wouldn't turn it down either. The point is that the system seems to be wrong - some people seem to get barely enough to live on through Universal Credit; others work full time in min wage jobs and get little if any support from the state. In that context, it doesn't seem right that someone's part time earnings should be topped up to a sum well above the national average wage, when there are other people who are receiving so much less. Something seems to have gone wrong in the way the money is being shared out.

And agree with RunningAwaywiththeCircus

Spousal maintenance didn’t even come up and doesn’t tend to . It’s about providing for the children these days and ensuring the arrangements are best for the kids And their well-being
Have that at the Center and you can’t go far wrong

The Jeff Bezos , Saudi Prince pay off seem to be for the super rich who can afford hundreds and thousands on legal fees

@Pelleas i agree with you.

Some people simply cannot afford childcare and cannot live without universal credit despite working part time.

I would go as far as correcting that to “despite working full time”

You’ll have to sell the house unfortunately.

I wish every woman who has given up her career to be a stay at home mum would read this

Spousal maintenance is very rare, it would only apply if the higher earner has a salary big enough to have money to spare after covering their own living expenses and child maintenance).

OP, you're going to have to revisit your future. You can opt for the minimum hours work and claim maximum benefits. You will ok especially with high maintenance which will be in addition. You might as you say even enjoy a social life, and maybe meet someone else at one point, who will be a much better man than your ex, and you might be a sahm again or continue to work PT inline pay but still have a nice lifestyle.

But you need to consider the other side that sadly many single mums fall into. You work minimal hours for how long as you can in low pay. Then your kids get older and you remain single. It's ok until your you get is 18. You have to work ft for any very minimal benefits. No more maintenance and you have to suddenly live off very little. Returning to study is daunting, and you face competition with much younger energetic people. That's if you can afford to do it.

You have possibly 40 or 50 more years of living on the breadline, little pension.

Now is the time to avoid this potential situation, relying on yourself to have a better life than netting another man to support you. It's really worth considering your future career and income now, and trying to go to a ft job a soon as possible, in the next 2 or 3 years.

Yes, I understand that - I wouldn't turn it down either. The point is that the system seems to be wrong - some people seem to get barely enough to live on through Universal Credit; others work full time in min wage jobs and get little if any support from the state. In that context, it doesn't seem right that someone's part time earnings should be topped up to a sum well above the national average wage, when there are other people who are receiving so much less. Something seems to have gone wrong in the way the money is being shared out.

This is very possibly true - I don't know in detail how the UC calculations work.

But if the thing is broken, surely people should be angry when the system leaves people in poverty, and not bawling into their copy of the Daily Mail when a parent and his/her family have enough to live on?

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Are you a solicitor?

I think pp may have misunderstood her friend's finances and now everyone is derailing with shock at the generosity of the UC system. (Not even the Daily Fail has ever accused UC of being overly generous!) I've a friend in a very similar situation. Works pt and has three kids. She has about £1.8k each month, but that is with both her pt wage and UC together. Not solely UC with her wage as extra.