To think referring to guests at Christmas lunch as waifs and strays is extremely rude

[notawaif]

I know I am BU to think about this in July, so don’t judge me on that.

I’ve seen it on a couple of threads and heard it in RL too, on FB and so on. AIBU for thinking it’s rude and condescending towards a guest?

@parallax80

If I was obese I might feel differently, but she wouldn’t be using it then

Cherry you have just said exactly what notawaif is trying to communicate!

If you were obese your daughter would (hopefully) have the courtesy to recognise that it might be a little hurtful to refer to you as “fatty”. Even if she did mean it affectionately.

Similarly, if you are alone / lonely / bereaved/ have no family / are orphaned / are a care leaver , it can be hurtful to be referred to as a “waif or stray”. That is all.

Indeed context is everything. The original question was about whether the term was rude not whether it was rude in specific circumstances to a specific person who was feeling pitied.

The answer remains that if you don’t want to take a charitable chair, don’t go.

Why are you getting worked up about something strangers say on the Internet about other people you've never met and who haven't told you that it upsets them?

Stick to worrying about things which matter in your own life and stop getting offended on other people's behalf.

why are you getting worked up

I don’t think saying I find something rude IS getting worked up!

But I’ll continue to post as I wish within talk guidelines, thanks all the same

I wouldn't use it about people I don't know well, but have used it about friends, especially after the year ferries were cancelled on christmas eve and we had several last minute guests plus a family who walked past christmas day afternoon, stopped by to say hello and ended up staying for tea (by the time I put the food out there were 15 people and a dog in my living room and we didn't have a dog). But that is very much the kind of friendship we have with those people, the kind where if we're walking past we get dragged in for a coffee or a glass of wine.

I can see why if it was a colleague who didn't want you to be alone so invited/insisted you come over it would be insulting to then be referred to in that way.