To think referring to guests at Christmas lunch as waifs and strays is extremely rude

[notawaif]

I know I am BU to think about this in July, so don’t judge me on that.

I’ve seen it on a couple of threads and heard it in RL too, on FB and so on. AIBU for thinking it’s rude and condescending towards a guest?

Have you ever considered that perhaps you take things too literally and too seriously??

Get over yourself

It depends who they are really

Someone on a thread here once referred to them (us) as 'odd socks' which I thought was horrible.

Okay about but not to, so I haven't voted!

Of course it's rude. Who wants to be considered a wretched waif, patronised by Lady Bountiful?

I've heard it used many times with affection and no insult intended. Given the season, there might need to be a lot of background that the person using it has been trying to deliberately insult for me to take offence over its use. If I wanted to take offence at this then I'd also want to be reasonably sure that none of the phrases I used were inadvertently insulting.

Yes it's incredibly rude

I mean, if somebody said it about me to my face I'd be offended, yes. If I'm expected to cook for everyone my extended family takes pity on I might use it on an anonymised forum. Depends what you mean really

No I don't think it's extremely rude at all. I think maybe some people get offended by just about anything these days.

I’m sure it’s said with affection. That’s not the point really.

I think that’s actually the issue I have with it. It isn’t saying that you’re having the people there because you like them, it’s because you are the giver and they are the charity case.

We used to have a ‘waifs and strays’ Christmas lunch party when I was a student. It was all in the spirit of love and fun, and clear that we (the hosts) considered ourselves waifs and strays just as much as our guests. I suppose you have to judge your audience to make sure you aren’t offending anybody but I would usually take this as an expression of warmth and affection.

If you don't like being referred to like that, you can always decline the invite

I don’t know if it’s about being offended exactly.

It’s more about recognising that the way you are perceived is at odds with the way you perceive yourself.

I bet these people catering for the waifs and strays also collect lame ducks. Patronising prats.

We use orphans in my house to refer to anyone with no where else to go- bet you don’t like that! Said with affection. I think context is everything!

@CluelessBaker

We used to have a ‘waifs and strays’ Christmas lunch party when I was a student. It was all in the spirit of love and fun, and clear that we (the hosts) considered ourselves waifs and strays just as much as our guests. I suppose you have to judge your audience to make sure you aren’t offending anybody but I would usually take this as an expression of warmth and affection.

That is not the same thing at all.

Well actually burt for years and years when I was alone (through no fault of my own) I did for exactly this reason. Because it was impossible to distinguish between people who might actually have wanted me there for my own lovely personality and those who decided I was this years charity project.

As ex-pats, we tend to use it, for ourselves and our mates, because we're all waifs and strays, including the hosts, generally!

Christ cr you do?

Meh, I'd presume they meant it tongue in cheek.

YABU for not putting this in the Christmas Topic Board especially in JULY!

Sorry! Feel free to have it moved but I personally think it’s not a Christmas topic as such. So that is why I’ve put it here!

Maybe you should speak to the person and explain that their comments really hurt your feelings. Then please come back and let us know how that goes Sorry I cant take you seriously!!

If someone else is doing the cooking,refer to me however you like!

It's just an expression OP. Generally an affectionate one.

I wouldn’t even give this a second thought. If I have a friend to dinner and refer them as a “waif and stray”, it’s because I’ll be their “waif and stray” another day. I’ve never experienced somebody using it as a power play beyond Dickens.