Sorry I haven't read all the thread, but has anyone asked about your own earning potential? The reason I would wonder is the tendency for power imbalance in relationships, when only one brings money in. Wrongly, but understandably, that one might feel they are doing their half for the joint enterprise, and the other one should do the other half, which is everything else.
If there's any hope of trying it, I would urge everyone to split the tasks. One may be a better cook, the other may earn more, but sharing means equal power, and equal enjoyment, too.
Going out to work isn't all bad, nor is the work at home.
The thing to beware of, though, is letting one choose to do one thing, all the time .
Elsethread, people complain that a DH has opted for only the putting to bed, dodging the evening clearing up and washing up. Or he drives children to school, but absolutely nothing else.
Sounds as if you and sister in law would form a team to mutually boost a rebellion and regime change!
Probably you will say its impossible, but even one or two days a week for the women out to work, plus, if needed, women studying towards increased earning, plus an occasional girls night out, which need not be in the evening, just a few hours having fun without family?
And the men fitting round that, so they have a couple of days a week, even if it's only weekends, not out at work, to get the pleasure of child care and the satisfaction of tidying a house.
I'm being ambitious, but if it's at all bearable, could you even get m.i.l. on board to go out with you? Does she ever have anything for herself?
Also, if you slip into the 1950s 'man brings money, woman is dependent ', you are getting deeper into the lifelong financial penalty trap. Women tend to earn less, so men go to work, get promoted or build
experience, so women can never catch up, so women always will earn less.