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Original poster

Friends DD being ungrateful about birthday present and having a tantrum in the street

170 replies

9T9redballoons · 02/07/2020 15:52

NC for this to remain anonymous as I suspect a couple of friends use the forum.

My good friend has a DD (7) and it's her birthday in a couple of days. I was with friend, her DD and my DC today having a walk around up town and something in a shop catches friends DD's attention.

She's very taken with it and says how much she wanted it so i offered to get it for her as her birthday present which I was yet to buy on behalf of my DC. She happily accepts.

On the way home as she's looking at it again and she says actually it's not what she thought it was and she doesn't even want it anymore, she then throws a tantrum which includes sitting on the floor and sulking so we all have to stop and tend to that.

Friend laughs and says "aww she didn't realise what it was, silly billy"

She was stood inspecting it for a good 5 minutes in the shop saying how much she wanted it so I'm not sure how she mistook it for something else.

I'm stood there feeling awkward.

Upon reflection if it were my DC I think I would have said how it's not polite to be ungrateful and there's no need to have a tantrum, we can easily change it for something else etc.

It has left a bit of a bad taste.

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Fatted · 02/07/2020 16:33

You've said your friend has the hide of a Rhino. I can't help but think that your friend isn't arsed, is actually doing her best to defuse the situation and you're making it out to be more than it needs to be.

Has mum actually asked you to take it back? Or did you offer? Has mum said she will take it back? Or is mum just shrugging and saying that's a shame you don't like your new present and getting on with things.

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 02/07/2020 16:34

Was it a fiver or fifty quid?

Thurmanmurman · 02/07/2020 16:34

My DS is 7 and would never behave like this. SEN aside, tantrums in the street are not normal at 7 unless there's some shit parenting going on.

Thurmanmurman · 02/07/2020 16:37

@DestinationFkd. Did you honestly just refer to a 7 year old girl as a bitch? I can think of a few names for you, you utter disgrace.

Cadent · 02/07/2020 16:38

I wouldn’t exchange it either but by God you’re not the only the one with ‘the hide of a rhino’ if she’s sitting right there and you’re posting on here Shock

Original poster
9T9redballoons · 02/07/2020 16:38

Mum isn't bothered at all, about the present being unwanted now or her DD's reaction to it. It's not a big deal to her and she just laughed it off.

Its not the end of the world It has just left a bit of a bad taste because 1) it was very rude of her DD and 2) I think she should have said something at the time.

She won't address it later she's forgotten all about it already.

Going to eat now I'll check back later and update whether she takes it with her or not.

OP posts:
nokidshere · 02/07/2020 16:39

My thoughts?
She's a spoilt bitch.

What an awful way to talk about a child. Or anyone really.

julybaby32 · 02/07/2020 16:39

The silly billy remark form the mother to a 7 year old seem calculated to increase the tantrum behaviour.
I can see that any advice to OP might be too late tomorrow. If you have already said you will exchanging it, Op, it seems that you have no choice but to do so, or at least hand over the receipt and the item.
Ignoring the tantrum is probably better than making a bit thing of it. What she doesn't get is the money and a replacement present.

drownininplaymobil · 02/07/2020 16:40

If they had given the gift back to me to exchange, I would have got a refund instead and the girl would have gone without a present. Maybe that's harsh but there we go.

TheVoiceOfReasonableness · 02/07/2020 16:41

If DD6 had done that I would have told her there and then that her behaviour was unacceptable.

If I was the present giver I would probably have just kept to an embarrassed silence.

itsadangerousbusiness · 02/07/2020 16:41

I would put it in a box, wrap it up and give it to her again, but then I'm a bit of a cow like that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thisismytimetoshine · 02/07/2020 16:42

@9T9redballoons

Mum isn't bothered at all, about the present being unwanted now or her DD's reaction to it. It's not a big deal to her and she just laughed it off.

Its not the end of the world It has just left a bit of a bad taste because 1) it was very rude of her DD and 2) I think she should have said something at the time.

She won't address it later she's forgotten all about it already.

Going to eat now I'll check back later and update whether she takes it with her or not.

She sounds like a charmless piece of work, and frankly you're a bit of a wet lettuce; waiting to see if she chooses to take it with her. Stop being such a bloody doormat or you deserve all you get.
Original poster
9T9redballoons · 02/07/2020 16:47

Stop being such a bloody doormat or you deserve all you get

I'm not a doormat at all Confused

If it were my DD she would be told in no uncertain terms that her behaviour is unacceptable and unless she apologised then there would be no present whatsoever.

However she's not my DD is she, and it's not my place to say anything.

My reaction is as another poster mentioned upthread, I kept an awkward silence.

If she takes the present when she goes she can take the receipt and decide what to do with it. If she doesn't take it then my DC will have it themselves.

How would you suggest I deal with this right now in a way that doesn't make me a doormat? Should I start an argument with my friend infront of the children or should I verbally discipline her child myself? Hmm

OP posts:
anon5000 · 02/07/2020 16:48

@DestinationFkd

My thoughts? She's a spoilt bitch.
She's a 7 year old child. Do you often call children bitches?
Thisismytimetoshine · 02/07/2020 16:52

How would you suggest I deal with this right now in a way that doesn't make me a doormat?
Put the toy somewhere out of sight. If she asks for it when leaving, say no, the birthday girl made it clear she doesn't want it.

user12345796 · 02/07/2020 16:52

You're not a doormat. She will learn from your gracious and polite behaviour the right way to behave.

FrugiFan · 02/07/2020 17:18

@Notredamn

If she's a tantrummy child, you should've known not to buy her a spur of the moment present albeit an early birthday one. Absolutely mortifying behaviour and no, I wouldn't exchange it either. Then again, I don't even buy for my friends' children.
If OP didn't buy it the toddler 7 year old probably would have made a fuss about not getting what she wanted in the shop 🙄
DestinationFkd · 02/07/2020 17:45

Yes.

LST · 02/07/2020 17:52

Jesus I'd be fuming. I'd have taken it and given it to your DC and mine would have gone without!

CherryPavlova · 02/07/2020 17:55

If I'd have taken it away and told her she could go without then. I'd have made her write a note of apology when she was home.

MsEllany · 02/07/2020 18:05

If one of my children behaved like that they would get very short shrift.

At 7 going on 8 (or 6 going on 7, I’m not sure from the OP) they’re old enough to have learned how to politely accept a gift.

Both the mother and the child should be embarrassed at that behaviour IMO.

MrMeSeeks · 02/07/2020 18:15

Spoilt little madam.
Keep it for your kids, they’ll be more grateful, she gets nothing.

Berthatydfil · 02/07/2020 18:28

If she doesn’t take it - ok do you don’t want your/little veruccas present -ok then. And let her leave it with you.
Birthday comes round - no alternative pressie - aw what a shame she didn’t like what we bought her last week.

Aria2015 · 02/07/2020 18:36

I'd just give the present with the receipt and they can go and change if they want. I wouldn't put myself out further. I know kids have had it tough in lock down and may act out but I'd have still pulled her up on her behaviour, especially since it was done in front of you. Doesn't have to be a big telling off, just drawing her attention to the fact that it's not a very appreciative way to act when someone has been generous and got you a gift. I'd expect a 7 year old to be able to understand that.

Ilovechinese · 02/07/2020 18:38

Wow that is so rude! Yeah she might have changed her mind and not liked it after but to say it to the person who bought it her as a gift Is not on. I'm so glad my children have never behaved like this. They and I as a child was always brought up to be polite and have manners and at 7 years old she is old enough to have manners (unless there are any learning or special needs which you dont mention so assuming there isn't)

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