to be a bit upset by this gift?

[thisusernameismine]

I've left my job after over ten years and my boss is giving me a £1k budget with an upmarket wine merchant as a leaving present. I stopped drinking in Jan but unfortunately have gone a bit back into it over lockdown - I am determined to get back on track especially as I'm now jobless and mum to a toddler! It was common knowledge I wasn't drinking anymore at the start of the year and I've mentioned more recently how bad it is for my head. I mentioned the wine merchant is upmarket as he only sells posh stuff which is wasted on me anyway!

Do I say I cannot use this gift?! I've spoken to the wine merchant (mutual contact) and he's absolutely fine to not take the budget.

Just don't know how to give the gift 'back' 😭

Buy it and sell it, donate to charity. The Samaritans would be a good choice.

I'd spend it all on a selection of lovely wines for family and friends. That's birthdays/Christmas sorted for year or two!

^ This is excellent advice! A PP asked if there were any weddings coming up...what a lovely present that would make to some young couple!

@Oliversmumsarmy

*When you do fancy a glass, or it's a special occasion, you may as well drink something nice seeing as it will be a treat. Honestly don't see what the problem is*

You have understood that op doesn’t drink any more and what that actually means.
Can you really not see the problem?

It she has been drinking during lockdown, by her own admission. She hasn't claimed to be an alcoholic that I can see? The sudden angst and downright horror at this gift is ridiculous, especially as pp pointed out it could equate to just a case of decent stuff. It doesn't have to be 100+ bottles of plonk.

Sell the gift card online for a bit less than 1k and you're profiting.

Buy it and sell it

Where would you sell it?

Or, indeed, any couple!

@Thisismytimetoshine
She doesn't have to collect it and store it in her house...

We didn't know that until the last couple of messages from her. Even a couple posts below yours someone is still suggesting she buys wine and store in her house. Tone deaf.

I don’t drink, but if I’m ever given alcohol as a gift, I accept it graciously and then either re-gift, or save for a family occasion when others will be drinking.

Just be polite.

I do appreciate all the comments and it's given me food for thought. Yes it's a very generous gift, no there is definitely no kind of affair going on (I'm probably closer to his wife), and I don't think he appreciates how much I struggled with my mental health in the past and how dangerous this is for me. My exit from work was very much opposed by him and most others (just one shitty boss messing with my pay since I returned from mat leave) - I left for the good of my mental health especially as I have a child to raise. £1000 is a ridiculous amount and I can't help but think that's at least 2-3 months of living when I'm no longer earning for the family.

I've spoken to the wine merchant, we will secretly invest it, and I've told my boss thank you for being so incredibly generous, this isn't going to do much for my planned sober lifestyle haha but husband approves etc.

For the teetotallers who have been so incredibly supportive and for those who realise alcohol is not a good thing for me/to have in my home/mind etc, I just want to say thanks!

Can you ask the wine merchant to give you £1k worth of vouchers? Use the vouchers as Christmas/birthday/wedding gifts to send other people or get yourself something nice if you change your mind.

@thisismytimetoshine you seriously need to troll off. You seem to have absolutely zero capacity to understand anything and are just here to wind people up. You're insinuating that something is going on behind the scenes which has sweet fa to do with the thread.

Yes the HORROR at this gift is how incredibly difficult and threatening some others may find alcohol to be in their life. If you've never been through it you'll probably never understand, in fact you seem to be completely unwilling to even try.

Get some advice and buy stuff to lay down. I used to work in the industry and you can make a lot that way if you get good advice!

As pp have said, graciously accept and use for presents. Plan a big post lockdown party that's the booze sorted.

Also what industry are you in for a £1k leaving present?

Industry gives away nothing, think of this as a gift from a HNW individual!

@Jenasaurus that is so nice to hear that companies like this still exist, a few of my friends at the time thought it was weird but they worked for large companies where you were just a number. After DS was born I used to buy cream cakes and take him into the office every Friday afternoon, ahhhhh happy days 😊

I don’t think upset is the correct wording. Understandable you would be upset if you left and they didn’t get you anything. You can’t be ‘upset‘ by the enormous generosity of 1k worth if stuff just because you don’t like it! That’s not the point.

As other people have suggested, you could buy the worth of your gift and keep it for gifts for other people. Surely you have people in your family that would appreciate good quality wine etc?

He’ll if you can’t think of anyone, send it on to me-I’ll get your value 😂

When I left my job I got over £300 worth of lush products - I'm really allergic to pretty much everything they sell.
I took the gift graciously then donated half of the products to a local charity for their raffle and used half as gifts.

@thisusernameismine honestly I do know the issues that alcohol can bring but this is a different thing - it’s not a mate brining round a bottle of vodka for your birthday.

Buy expensive wine - get it out in a safe somewhere (away from your home). Let us appreciate - you won’t suddenly go breaking into it.

Or - sell the voucher on for say £700

Or get the wine for a party but again leave it somewhere away from home.

How about asking the wine place if you can discretely swap it for 10 x £100 vouchers or 20 x £50 vouchers, or maybe swap out part of it for smaller vouchers, then you can gift those over the next year or so?

Twelve bottles of 1988 Romanée-Conti wine sold for £179,250 at Bonhams. WIne is an amazing investment - if you get it right. Go to Bunch of Grapes and make that 1K go even further.

I once got a box of Celebrations. Very nice they were too.

£1k on wine is quite obscene really.

Totally understand, BUT, as you don’t need to have it in your house, and you know the merchant... could you ask him to select cases of wine for people you know & love, and hold on to it for Christmas? He makes the selection, arranges delivery, you don’t need to give it any more thought. If you can get some vouchers to regift, then great. Otherwise expensive champagne to hospitals, Schools/PTA, for fundraising event raffles.

Would it not be easier to just buy ten bottles of good wine/champagne and give them away as gifts? If you don't drink then let your husband use them as gifts.

The hassle and rudeness of discussing the appropriateness of the gift is simply not worth it.

Accept graciously and ask merchant if they’ll break it into £100 chunks to gift others or buy wine for others at Christmas. It’s a gesture so it’s really hard to ask for something else without sounding ungrateful. Very generous though.