to be a bit upset by this gift?

[thisusernameismine]

I've left my job after over ten years and my boss is giving me a £1k budget with an upmarket wine merchant as a leaving present. I stopped drinking in Jan but unfortunately have gone a bit back into it over lockdown - I am determined to get back on track especially as I'm now jobless and mum to a toddler! It was common knowledge I wasn't drinking anymore at the start of the year and I've mentioned more recently how bad it is for my head. I mentioned the wine merchant is upmarket as he only sells posh stuff which is wasted on me anyway!

Do I say I cannot use this gift?! I've spoken to the wine merchant (mutual contact) and he's absolutely fine to not take the budget.

Just don't know how to give the gift 'back' 😭

£1k leaving gift? Wow. We have a staff collection and are lucky to collect £100. Just take the gift and get some future birthday- Christmas gifts.

Buy an investment piece.

@heartsonacake

It would be useless to me; I don’t drink. But I would politely say thank you and leave with the budget unspent.

I would not be buying alcohol as gifts because I don’t think alcohol should be legal and so I won’t encourage others to drink it. If they do so of their own accord that’s fine but I wouldn’t contribute to it.

Why on earth don't you think alcohol should be legal?!

Op id tell him you are t total and it wouldn't be good to have 1k of alcohol in the house but thank you for the offer. Do not ask for something else, it's rude.

The wine merchant must be doing well if he's so casually turned down 1k of sales

Maybe ask on Facebook or whatever if anyone has a wedding coming up? You could buy the alcohol on their behalf, they get a good discount and you could pocket the cash?

I'd be honest. You don't want that amount of alcohol sitting around your house.

@Jenasaurus

A pp mentioned saving it for a special occassion, wedding, party etc, maybe even if it wasnt for yourself, (friend getting married etc) could you get the wine and they give you cash, even if a lower amount that you spend, at least that way you will get something back and do a friend a good turn to, discounted wine for an occassion.

This sounds like a reasonable idea.

Ask the wine merchant to give you £850 cash to cancel the voucher.

This may sound crass, but do you know anyone you could 'sell on' the voucher to in one form or another?

My DS1 is a wine connoisseur and he'd be more than happy to have me order bottles using the voucher then pay me the cash for them. That's a win/win as far as I'm concerned.

They probably sell wine in bond. Ask the merchant what to buy, keep it in bond for a few years, and then sell at a tidy profit. Job done!

(And you never need go anywhere near the wine so it's not even a temptation).

There's all your xmas, birthday, Father's Day, Mother's Day, wedding and anniversary gifts sorted for the next few years

Addendum: I meant to say 'sell them to DS1 at a reduced rate'. Even if I sold them on to him at 20% off, I'd still end up with £800. Nothing to sneeze at!

OP if it’s a luxury wine merchant, I bet they sell some really nice deli items too. You could buy things like some nice biscotti, chocolate, olive oil, preserves, bottle racks, crystal glasses etc... for gifts if you feel uncomfortable about buying bottles to either drink, resell, gift or keep for special occasions.

Definitely accept the gift. I wouldn’t turn it down or ask for something else especially with your update when you mentioned some difficult leaving circumstances and also acknowledged the generosity of your boss and colleagues. The voucher won’t have cost the company anywhere near £1000 but you will benefit from that amount. You wouldn’t get close to that value in a replacement gift, if another gift at all. Just accept it graciously, leave on good terms and think about some inventive ways to use the voucher. You will save a fortune in gifts for years! Also, your husband sounds like a wine fan - would he not benefit from it?

What's that old saying 'never look a gift horse in the mouth'

Never ceases to amaze me that people can find the negative and look at reasons for discontentment rather than smiling and being thankful they've been offered anything at all.

If you don't want it yourself, speak to your boss and ask him to divvy it up m, and give everyone in the company a bottle of wine from you.

There's all your xmas, birthday, Father's Day, Mother's Day, wedding and anniversary gifts sorted for the next few years

I am of an age where I don’t know that many people who actually drink and even the ones I do wouldn’t want that amount of bottles in their house.

Is your boss a big drinker? Does he not realise that not everyone does drink.

Given the circumstances of your leaving I wouldn’t be surprised that your boss doesn’t know a lot.

Sell it on for £500, spend the money on Ashtrays

If see if you want to come to a deal with anyone planning a wedding or a big party.

Or personally (and I don't drink either) if i didn't think I'd get anything else from him instead, I'd just hold a massive end of Covid party in a few months time.

I'd spend it all on a selection of lovely wines for family and friends. That's birthdays/Christmas sorted for year or two!

Excellent idea.

Get the wine merchant to buy wines which will age well and are of a collectible (lower end) nature. Have someone store them (correctly) and sell them down the line for profit.

(I'm sober and I'd do this.)

Why on earth would you refuse it rather than get champagne and share it between family and friends at Xmas. It seems incredibly important to you to 'reject' the gift. Otherwise you'd let the wine merchant donate it to a charity raffle or something.

Unless you have an alcohol problem (no judgment just be honest with yourself) and won’t be able to not drink the wine yourself then I would graciously accept the wine and buy gifts for people. You will save a fortune over the year in gifts.

Perhaps its a bit unfair to expect colleagues to keep up with your drinking habits... if a colleague mentioned that to me I might well forget it if we're not that close. I'm an on and off drinker myself and wouldn't expect people to know where I currently stand with it.

It would probably come across as a be a bit ungrateful to say you can't use it or ask for something else. Just get some nice presents for friends and use the money you save to treat yourself to something.

Twelve years I worked in a fucking school - when I left I didn't get so much as a box of chocolates.

I also say use it for Christmas/birthday presents. Just because you don't agree with alcohol, doesn't mean all your friends and family don't either.

If there are tricky circumstances around your leaving, and you think it's well known that you don't really drink, do you think the manager has gone for this as a passive-aggressive gesture- or perhaps even as a stunt pineapple type gift, in that he doesn't really expect you to accept/use it?

As others have suggested, asking the merchant to use the gift to purchase investment wines could be the answer- that way, you can get the cash from selling them after a period of time.

Alternatively, could the wine merchant give you some of the gift value vouchers with a long expiry date? That way you wouldn't have to have bottles of wine lying about, but could still use the vouchers as gifts for other people, or pass them on/ sell on at a bit of a loss to friends who are organising parties or weddings.

Agree with peanut if you stopped drinking at the beginning of the year, it may have been assumed you were doing dry January?
Especially if you'd worked there for years and were known for enjoying a drink and you have been drinking since January.

In light of the fact that your husband is a fan of wines and often receives bottles as presents, I'm finding it hard to understand this level of upset over a voucher which could be used in a variety of alternative ways (as suggested).

Perhaps you're more upset that your boss doesn't understand your recent personal struggles? That's quite a big expectation really.