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AIBU?

to be a bit upset by this gift?

244 replies

thisusernameismine · 02/07/2020 12:26

I've left my job after over ten years and my boss is giving me a £1k budget with an upmarket wine merchant as a leaving present. I stopped drinking in Jan but unfortunately have gone a bit back into it over lockdown - I am determined to get back on track especially as I'm now jobless and mum to a toddler! It was common knowledge I wasn't drinking anymore at the start of the year and I've mentioned more recently how bad it is for my head. I mentioned the wine merchant is upmarket as he only sells posh stuff which is wasted on me anyway!

Do I say I cannot use this gift?! I've spoken to the wine merchant (mutual contact) and he's absolutely fine to not take the budget.

Just don't know how to give the gift 'back' 😭

OP posts:
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cherish123 · 03/07/2020 19:26

It seems a bit of an extravagant gift. I would accept gracefully and use it to buy wine for presents.

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londonscalling · 03/07/2020 21:14

Accept it graciously. Get bottles of booze for Christmas Day and for presents, as well as for taking round to friends for dinner parties!

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veryverytiredmummy · 03/07/2020 21:48

What peppermintteadrinker said.

Look into wine. Talk to the wine merchant. Buy something secure at about £25 per bottle and wait. 5 years you can sell it.

Teatotal or not that's a great present!

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Celestine70 · 03/07/2020 22:18

I would just buy wine for other people as gifts for birthdays and Christmas.

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Bluesparkled · 03/07/2020 22:57

Staying sober is an achievement and I’m glad you found a polite way to put your health first.

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SunnyCoco · 03/07/2020 23:28

I sometimes think I live on a different planet 😂

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helpIhateclothesshopping · 03/07/2020 23:31

You obviously don't work for the NHS! My Dad got a dictophone for s long service gift (30 years) and a few people we know got retirement gifts from work of about £20 value (in addition to the office whip round). It does seem a very odd leaving gift unless they have a corporate contract. You could always buy it, and either auction it later or sell it on and get something you'd actually like. It wouldn't be my choice of a gift either. It would be a bit wasted on me.

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masterchef98 · 03/07/2020 23:36

Glad you got it sorted. I imagine there was an initial shock of 1. I'm trying to keep wine out the house and 2. I could have spent that on........ (fill in the blank)

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Catwaving · 03/07/2020 23:47

Yes, YABU

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Devora13 · 04/07/2020 00:40

Loving all the people who keep mentioning tea total 😊

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SmileyClare · 04/07/2020 00:46

He he yes. Always ensure you have a large teapot brewing for any non drinkers at parties Wink

No offence Op. It takes a lot of guts to recognise a problem and abstain.

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Maverick66 · 04/07/2020 00:57

I would be gutted if I had to spend a grand on wine.

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Davincitoad · 04/07/2020 12:15

How spoiled are you to be ‘upset’ by said gift

Grow up

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academicallyblonde · 04/07/2020 12:22

You don’t want to leave on a sour note. Just say thank you with a smile and then regift it to someone who will appreciate it.

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Ninja65 · 04/07/2020 20:40

You could always give it to me... :)

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Maccy2018 · 06/07/2020 00:31

As your in friendly terms with the wine merchants could you not ask them to give vouchers either one £1k Voucher or 10 x £100 vouchers & then you gift the vouchers to charity’s that can auction them off & the funds go to said charity. Or again get vouchers & take them to nearest hospital & donate them to the doctors & nurses that have & are saving our country at the moment as a thank you. I know in around about way you are still gifting alcohol which I know you don’t want to do but at least with the vouchers you are not gifting actual bottles of wine. As other people have said you can buy the wine as investment, sell the voucher on, or decline his offer.
He probably genuinely doesn’t realise that you have given it up because like you said you gave it up in January (which your boss probably knew about) but then started again during lockdown which your boss most probably heard about through the grape vine & then stopped again after lockdown & it has only been a matter of A few weeks/days since we have come out of lockdown some places have gone back into lockdown. Only you can decide what is best for you.

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Susan1961 · 06/07/2020 11:03

I think if you take it you'll be tempted to drink it. I'd explain to your boss, he should understand.

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randomer · 06/07/2020 11:22

"wine merchants", I must inhabit a different planet. I sometimes grab a bottle at the supermarket or if really desperate, Costcutters.

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Localocal · 20/07/2020 18:07

I don't drink either, and this would raise my eyebrows too. But I wouldn't dream of saying anything to the boss about it. It's a gift.

Either stock up on years' worth of gifts for other people or entertaining, or make a deal with the store owner to cash in your voucher for a fixed sum of money without mentioning it to your boss.

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