to be a bit upset by this gift?

[thisusernameismine]

I've left my job after over ten years and my boss is giving me a £1k budget with an upmarket wine merchant as a leaving present. I stopped drinking in Jan but unfortunately have gone a bit back into it over lockdown - I am determined to get back on track especially as I'm now jobless and mum to a toddler! It was common knowledge I wasn't drinking anymore at the start of the year and I've mentioned more recently how bad it is for my head. I mentioned the wine merchant is upmarket as he only sells posh stuff which is wasted on me anyway!

Do I say I cannot use this gift?! I've spoken to the wine merchant (mutual contact) and he's absolutely fine to not take the budget.

Just don't know how to give the gift 'back' 😭

[TerrapinStation]

@Thinkingabout1t

I'd spend it all on a selection of lovely wines for family and friends. That's birthdays/Christmas sorted for year or two!

Excellent idea.

Excellent idea if you have the type of family and friends who would appreciate expensive wine, it would be a total waste for me for that reason.

We don't all mix with wine connisseuers.

[thisusernameismine]

Boss (well, ex boss now I suppose) and I are very close, so he knew, but he loves wine and know this wasn't given maliciously. In terms of how I feel about alcohol, maybe I've been brainwashed by the sobriety books, I've been known to call it poison in the last few months! I do feel threatened having it at home, even if storing it for future gifts.

In answer to a PP I think I want to reject it because in principle I disagree with it and feel threatened at 'having' to spend someone else's money on something I don't want but that they really thought was going to be beneficial to us.

[wheretonow123]

As someone who has been in several private and public sector jobs at a reasonably high level I find this gift quite incredible.

The only thing I can think of is that perhaps there is a custom and practice that they offer this to anybody that leaves fulfilling a certain criteria and that there is an arrangement with this supplier who happens to be well acquainted with the MD - that being how it commenced with this supplier. In two organisations I have been offered a weekend away as a thank you for a project completed.

In my experience speaking with the person is more appropriate. I think any email turning it down, no matter how well worded, could come across as un-appreciative and I am sure you would really like to get the equivalent in a voucher be it travel or other goods.

So I suggest that you email him and ask if there is a time that you can call him and explain that you really appreciate the offer and explain your predicament. If he insists this is his only option then dont turn it down but see if you can keep the voucher active and see what you can best use it for - presents, investment, other goods from the store etc. If you are worried about it being a temptation to you to buy bottles for yourself every few days then perhaps split it into smaller vouchers and give to a good friend for safe keeping.

Best of luck - its a nice problem to have.

[Othering]

What do you mean, very close? Is there something going on between you?

[thisusernameismine]

Thank you some really good advice here. Just to clarify this person is actually a really good friend so imagine this was a gift from a good and very wealthy friend and their family. Nothing to do with the usual gifts people get when leaving etc (it's not, it's usually John Lewis vouchers etc).

Yes as I'm jobless now it would be more useful if Tesco's vouchers!, but I'd never ask for something in its place.

Wine merchant has just said he could invest it/store it (so none at home) if I prefer not to have to reject it so am considering that option.

I know it's a first world problem - wish I didn't feel so stressed about it. The PP who said alcohol is so divisive is absolutely spot on, I guess those who've never felt they've had an issue with drinking don't get it x

[WeAllHaveWings]

I'd accept graciously and get a few bottles of really fancy well known champagnes, wines or whatever else they sell and give to some local clubs/charities to auction/raffle at their next club events. They would be very welcome and support these small clubs that will be struggling through covid.

All of ds's activities when younger looked for donations for fund raisers to support the clubs. Whenever special limited edition offers came up in our staff shop I would buy a couple of bottles (for £150+) and keep them for future donation requests. I could never bring myself to drink something so expensive, but they always raised a lot of money to help the clubs.

[Thisismytimetoshine]

It gets better. Your boss is a dear, close friend; yet you managed to leave your job on difficult terms due to discriminatory behaviour?
Something doesn't add up.

[Alsohuman]

As someone who has been in several private and public sector jobs at a reasonably high level I find this gift quite incredible

I worked for a household name tech company in the early 80s. At Christmas every single employee, from the MD to the postroom staff, took delivery of a big, hip high Fortnum and Mason hamper from the owner of the company. Mine’s at the end of my bed housing my handbags now. Some employers are very generous.

[SmileyClare]

Its usually John Lewis vouchers. Ahh that makes sense, you're gutted you didn't get those

Your thoughts on asking the merchant to invest in a few wines and store them for you or resell them are good. Then you can use the money in a shop of your choice.

I think you will get to a stage where you can be around alcohol and accept it can be enjoyed by others without reacting so strongly. You're not there yet though, which is fine.

[FruitTingleFrizzante]

Part of my wages is used to be a wine allowance. We have a decent stash of v $$$ wines that we call the mortgage fund... ie if we need cash to stay afloat we sell them. Good wines always sell! Honestly just take it for what it is - it's a very generous gift!
(Otherwise = champagne and then you've got nice gifts for most life celebrations for a good few years)

[Beautiful3]

Just explain that you have given up alcohol so would really appreciate it, if it could be a voucher for x instead?

[thisusernameismine]

@Thisismytimetoshine the really story is a whole other post! He's partly exited the company too.

[thisusernameismine]

• the real story

[SerenityNowwwww]

I’m sure someone has already said it but - it’s an investment! Out local wine merchant stores cases that people buy as investment pieces.

He was almost in tears when he was telling us about an overseas investor who decided to take one of the expensive bottles of wine to a party and mixed it with orange juice and coke as he didn’t really like wine.

[FruitTingleFrizzante]

Oh I just rtft.... Apologies I didn't see the sobriety angle. Still I would still accept graciously and then quietly sell on and pocket cash.

[Thisismytimetoshine]

How can you partly leave a company? Are they aware that he's not 100% there anymore? Have they noticed? 🙄

[TheBlessedCheesemaker]

I will happily give you £800 cash for the voucher - I have an event coming up that needs oiling!

[thisusernameismine]

@Thisismytimetoshine don't want to go into too many outing details but why on earth would I lie about it?!

[wheretonow123]

Now that is a brilliant offer from @TheBlessedCheesemaker

If it was me I would accept the voucher and sell from something around that price.

[Thisismytimetoshine]

I didn't accuse you of lying about anything, op?

[englishrosie]

I’ve just read the whole thread and it gets stranger and stranger.

[occa]

Ask the wine merchant to direct you towards investment wines and you can sell them later on. Get the merchant to give you an idea of how long they should be laid down for. Some wine merchants will even store your investment wines in their cellar, so they'll just sit there quietly gathering value under perfect conditions. I know Berry Bros does this.

[whereorwhere]

Wow it's a leaving present - just accept graciously and if you don't use it buy wine for Xmas/presents/investments. I left somewhere after twenty years and got fuck all

[drumandthebass]

I like @TheBlessedCheesemaker's idea

[Carolduckingbaskin]

But just a couple of super expensive bottles as an investment