to be a bit upset by this gift?

[thisusernameismine]

I've left my job after over ten years and my boss is giving me a £1k budget with an upmarket wine merchant as a leaving present. I stopped drinking in Jan but unfortunately have gone a bit back into it over lockdown - I am determined to get back on track especially as I'm now jobless and mum to a toddler! It was common knowledge I wasn't drinking anymore at the start of the year and I've mentioned more recently how bad it is for my head. I mentioned the wine merchant is upmarket as he only sells posh stuff which is wasted on me anyway!

Do I say I cannot use this gift?! I've spoken to the wine merchant (mutual contact) and he's absolutely fine to not take the budget.

Just don't know how to give the gift 'back' 😭

OP, I'm still wondering if the wine merchant can offer any products other than alcohol which you could use the voucher for? Or would you rather not deal with the wine merchant at all?

Surely they must sell other stuff too? Posh glassware, jugs, punch bowls or whatever that you can sell? You won't get as much as you paid obviously but it's better than not using the voucher at all.

I only want to know where you work
Yes me too this would be my dream gift .
Oh to have this as a problem .
Sorry not meaning to be bitchy , I'd just except it and be happy that everyone I know will be getting a gift of wine for the foreseeable . Christmas will be great at yours this year .

OK, you've ignored my question, which means I'm right! There's an affair involved here of some description.

You don't get to choose your own gifts unless asked. I'd accept graciously and go with the merchant's suggestion of investing it. I'd not want to reject it or rock the boat as it may leave a sour taste in the former employer's mouth; not good when you're jobless in a recession.

Wow. How "nice" can an ashtray be?

VERY! My parents also received some as wedding gifts in the early 60s, including two Baccarat ones, a Lalique one, a Steuben glass one.

I have a couple of them and use as trinket dishes and tealight holders.

@Othering

OK, you've ignored my question, which means I'm right! There's an affair involved here of some description.

God, is this it, op?! Were you both ousted for inappropriate behaviour? Wine is the least of your problems.

I don't see the problem, there are a variety of options here that allow you to gain some benefit from the gift without having to purchase and store wine bottles in your house . Why all the angst? Give the gift away if you must, but why the need to 'reject' it?

Incidentally, where are your husband's bottles of red stored?

@DisobedientHamster

You don't get to choose your own gifts unless asked. I'd accept graciously and go with the merchant's suggestion of investing it. I'd not want to reject it or rock the boat as it may leave a sour taste in the former employer's mouth; not good when you're jobless in a recession.

Wow. How "nice" can an ashtray be?

VERY! My parents also received some as wedding gifts in the early 60s, including two Baccarat ones, a Lalique one, a Steuben glass one.

I have a couple of them and use as trinket dishes and tealight holders.

I've done some googling; I take it all back! God, who knew? I associate ashtrays with those tin pub ones advertising whiskey

It's almost as big a problem to have as the lady who had a mortgage but the savings to pay it off and didn't know what to do

@Othering tbf, the OP has ignored a fair amount in this thread, including DOES THE WINE MERCHANT SELL ANYTHING ELSE? Which is leading me to think the OP thinks the gift is a bit shit and wants something else worth 1k instead.

Pps saying she won't want to store wine at home, she doesn't have to store the wine at home, she can order it as a gift as and when - the "beliefs" issue around giving expensive alcohol away is strange too - nothing wrong with a nice bottle of champers as a Christmas gift to drink on Christmas day or on new yrs eve, whether you like to or not.

Buy posh champagne and sell on.

I worked for a family company from leaving school at 16 for 12 years, husband and wife team and both sons, when I left they brought me a Silver Cross pram, they said I was the daughter they never had and are godparents to my children. The sons run the show now but I’m still in touch with the husband and wife and visit them every other year, they retired and moved to Malta.

Do family companies exist like that anymore?

What about donating it as a prize for a charity you would like to support, A case of champagne etc would make a wonderful raffle prize. I know you wont benefit materially but it would mean it wouldnt go to waste.

Where do you even sell bottles of champagne

@Llamazoom

Buy posh champagne and sell on.

I worked for a family company from leaving school at 16 for 12 years, husband and wife team and both sons, when I left they brought me a Silver Cross pram, they said I was the daughter they never had and are godparents to my children. The sons run the show now but I’m still in touch with the husband and wife and visit them every other year, they retired and moved to Malta.

Do family companies exist like that anymore?

My DS GF works for a family firm, in London, she joined as an apprentice 10 years ago as an apprentice, at the age of 16, its a small firm and she was treated to a weekend in New York by her manager when she did well on a project and then at Christmas when her car broke down, her manager bought her a car, in some ways he treats her like a daughter. The firm has only 8 employees and they all get along like a happy family.

@Thisismytimetoshine

How can you partly leave a company? Are they aware that he's not 100% there anymore? Have they noticed? 🙄

He's just going to gradually fade into the nearest bush ala Homer Simpson

That's a good leaving present. I'd take it willingly and use it for christmas presents.

I left a job in the city once, strong essex contingent there, and they chipped in and got me leggings and hoop earrings. I said thank you. What else can you do!

£1000 voucher for expensive wine? Literally the stuff my dreams are made of ...

Not quite in the same league but I once won a bottle of wine in a staff meeting for being 'star of the month' kind of thing. Fortunately I wasn't there as I think I would literally have dropped it on the floor or just given it immediately to the person next to me. I don't drink and I actively avoid alcohol. What's helped me to stay sober (a different situation from you I know OP) is treating it as if it was radioactive.

I did, however, tell my boss (who didn't know me very well at the time) why I couldn't accept it and he insisted on getting me something I could use - I chose some knitting needles and then had to guide him through the ordering process from Wool Warehouse

I would tell your boss honestly that his gift is unbelievably generous but you can't accept because you want to quit drinking again for your health and would hope never to use the gift. I think there's a risk if you don't deal with this head on, he will ask the wine merchant how you're using the gift and then find out you aren't and feel very hurt.

Why on earth do other posters keep telling/insisting the OP, a potential recovering alcoholic, to go buy wine and store it in her house?? Talk about tone deaf.

@JingsMahBucket

Why on earth do other posters keep telling/insisting the OP, a potential recovering alcoholic, to go buy wine and store it in her house?? Talk about tone deaf.

She doesn't have to collect it and store it in her house...

Accept the gift, buy the wine, and give it to me!

I recently left my job of almost 26 years and didn't get a gift worth anything like that! Not that I cared - they paid me to do a job, it's not necessary to give anything because I left the job.

Don't be so ungrateful - you could have got nothing. There are plenty of helpful suggestions on here, but honestly coming onto MN to whine about such a generous gift, when most people don't get anything like that, well the mind boggles!

I’d take it and flog it online if need be. I wouldn’t ask for an alternative present I think that’s rude.

What on earth possessed someone to get such a present though.

If I were in your shoes, I'd keep the gift. Stock up on some quality bottles (is the wine merchant Berry Bros - a case of good stuff there will easily set you back 1k).
When you do fancy a glass, or it's a special occasion, you may as well drink something nice seeing as it will be a treat.
Honestly don't see what the problem is.

When you do fancy a glass, or it's a special occasion, you may as well drink something nice seeing as it will be a treat.
Honestly don't see what the problem is

You have understood that op doesn’t drink any more and what that actually means.
Can you really not see the problem?