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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So embarrassed by friends. AIBU to ask them to leave tomorrow morning?

411 replies

Rebecca980 · 01/07/2020 23:57

Our friends - a gay couple - who we have been close with for the last 15 years came over to stay. They have had one set of parents, a sister, her baby and their two dogs staying with them for two weeks whilst they wait to move into their new place. They needed a break so we said they could come and stay with us for a few days. They are in our ‘bubble’. We’ve both recently moved from London to the south coast close by - which was a decision we made together really.

DH and I have been friends with them for years. Before DD came along and we were married. We’ve had wild times - but we’ve all grown up....or so I thought.

They arrived with bottle of vodka in tow. It lasted them about an hour until they pulled out another and it went.

We have made friends with our neighbours since we Moved here and have made an active effort to try and integrate ourselves in our new area and street.

I am SO EMBARRASSED by their behaviour this evening. It’s like they regressed to us being 20 again.

By the time DD went to bed, they were screaming in the garden, swearing (C word at the end of almost every sentence), trying to talk to neighbours over the fences. They also love ‘shock values - which was funny when we were kids but really isn’t now and they reverted straight back to it.

I’m embarrassed our neighbours have heard them and worried how it reflects on us. I’m sure they could also hear us trying to sort them out.

I’m also annoyed at DH a little as I was trying to get them inside but was getting no support in that.

Some of the things they were shouting have left me unable to sleep and worried about how it reflects.

They have hearts of gold, and DD adores themes Bhave always been terrible drunks. I don’t actually like being drunk so maybe this has been exasperated because I wasn’t drinking....

I get they were excited as they had a much needed little break from a stressful time, but I really am thinking of asking them to go back tomorrow rather than staying any more days. AIBU? And how should I approach this with the neighbours? Just a quick sorry next time I see them?

They’ve also broken a few bits in the house by falling into them.

Both DH and I are pretty mortified. But also know they’ve been stressed and want to give them an opportunity to unwind.

OP posts:
Ticktocklovelyclock · 02/07/2020 10:31

There is a chance that the person who shouted "Be Quiet" at 7.30 in the evening was just pissed off at the breaking of the RULZ. As you can see from this thread there's a lot around, and they might have just been hacked off at you have a 'party' during a pandemic.

Our neighbour was giving us evils for having a friend over - she had to walked through the house to get to the garden to sit as there was no other entrance.
Much tutting and huffing over the fence about 'people' who don't seem to realise there's a PANDEMIC!

sadie9 · 02/07/2020 10:32

They were not respectful if they were necking vodka and falling around drunk and breaking your belongings. They don't take others into consideration.
They have a drink problem if they can't go to someone's house and have a normal amount of drink. I suspect one of them takes the lead on the drinking.
They deserve to have the Fear and if they broke stuff, you deserve an apology and a gift to say sorry.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 02/07/2020 10:32

Op, your mates got pissed and a bit loud.

And a bit offensive and a bit anti-Semitic. Oh, how we all.laughed.

Thisismytimetoshine · 02/07/2020 10:33

only in the UK is swilling to oblivion seen as a jolly jape, rather than the filthy behaviour it is.
I have to agree. A thread about people getting out of their skulls and screaming abuse at the neighbours eliciting "sounds like my kind of night! I'd have come round and joined in!" comments says it all, really.
God love their neighbours, imagine living next door to that dross?

OpenWheelRace · 02/07/2020 10:45

They have hearts of gold, and DD adores themes Bhave always been terrible drunks

This is an oxymoron.
Alcohol doesn't turn people into dicks - it just removes inhibitions.

Rubbleonthedouble1 · 02/07/2020 11:00

Haven’t read the whole thread but you have misunderstood the bubble rules!

Keepwarminthisroom · 02/07/2020 11:08

I'd have laughed if this had happened to a neighbour but not found it quite as funny if they'd been friends of mine. The fact that they slunk off at least indicates that they know they've done wrong, I'd forgive them if they sent a note and some flowers I think.

pipnchops · 02/07/2020 11:21

Their behaviour sounds appalling, intimidating and extremely antisocial OP, there are no two ways about it. I don't think that would be acceptable behaviour at any age. Unless they are very apologetic to you and your neighbours this morning and agree not to repeat that behaviour I would be asking them to leave and I wouldn't be bothered if that was the end of the friendship.

Thisismytimetoshine · 02/07/2020 11:25

They've already legged it, pip. Sneaked out under cover of darkness, apparently, pair of charmers that they are.

LittleMissRedHat · 02/07/2020 11:27

@Rubbleonthedouble1
Haven’t read the whole thread but you have misunderstood the bubble rules!

(whispers) You probably should have at least skimmed it. You're about the eleventy-billionth person to mention it... Grin

pipnchops · 02/07/2020 11:33

Blush ooops should have read the whole thread. Well OP I think they've shown their true colours and you're well rid. Hope you manage to restore neighbour relations. They would have seen you were uncomfortable with the behaviour and you can just say a quick apology on your guests behalf as and when you see them.

nanbread · 02/07/2020 11:34

Drinking a bottle of vodka each in the space of a few hours is seriously problematic IMO. I would be concerned how much they are drinking regularly to be able to do that without getting alcohol poisoning or vomiting everywhere.

The swearing is childish and a bit twatty but I've probably done worse. The alcohol however...
There's letting your hair down, and then there's drinking a bottle of vodka in someone's garden before 10pm. Worrying.

Rubbleonthedouble1 · 02/07/2020 11:38

Now read it. I don’t think you are being unreasonable though!

Aquamarine1029 · 02/07/2020 11:40

Fuck sakes, they snuck out like 2 teenage hooligans to avoid dealing with the consequences of their behaviour. As I said earlier, you need new friends because these 2 are arseholes.

paintedsmile77 · 02/07/2020 11:43

As long as you apologise to neighbours everything should be fine.

Thomasina79 · 02/07/2020 11:45

Very judgemental replies to the OP on this thread, especially when she was clearly trying to get the situation under control. That said, I think I would be more upset about the behaviour of her friends in front of her her child, I don’t think very drunk behaviour is something a small child would witness. For that reason I don’t think I would invite them again, though would stay friends. I realise her DD was in bed, but the noise could easily have woken her up and made her feel very insecure.

AmandaHoldensLips · 02/07/2020 11:52

Hopefully they will be sending flowers to you and neighbours on both sides with a grovelling apology for acting like twats.

Better still you could play a terrible prank on them and ask which one of them shat on the floor in the bedroom and why was there blood on one of the walls. Leave them to think about it over the weekend before you put them out of their misery.

lyralalala · 02/07/2020 11:59

[quote Rebecca980]@Cramitmaam

They clearly know they had embarrassed us. As they had left in the morning by the time we had woken leaving a note saying there had been some sort of emergency at home....

They tidied the kitchen but I am really pissed off with them they couldn’t stick around because they knew they were going to get a bollocking....

Couldn’t even face the music! It’s typical really....[/quote]
How rude to just sneak off!!

Did they drive? If you were up at 7.15am and they were already gone the chances of them not still being over the limit were low so can add drunk driving to their list of twattery

They’re not friends I’d be keeping

unlikelytobe · 02/07/2020 11:59

Your friends sound like they're funny for 5 minutes then extremely trying. They haven't matured in 20 years?! Two bottles of vodka in a few hours is going some. Screaming obscenities in the garden? Classy. I wouldn't want that around my DC or subject my neighbours to it really as I want to get on with them.

Your friends hopefully will send an apology later on but you need to smooth things over with your neighbours. Set firmer boundaries for the next visit.

TerrapinStation · 02/07/2020 12:01

@paintedsmile77

As long as you apologise to neighbours everything should be fine.
Have you missed all the threads about neighbours on here? That's a very optimistic view Grin
Nixen · 02/07/2020 12:05

If I was your neighbour I would not have been impressed. And probably would have called the police since you’ve just decided to make up your own rules re lockdown / bubbles

Saladmakesmesad · 02/07/2020 12:08

only in the UK is swilling to oblivion seen as a jolly jape, rather than the filthy behaviour it is.

I have to agree. A thread about people getting out of their skulls and screaming abuse at the neighbours eliciting "sounds like my kind of night! I'd have come round and joined in!" comments says it all, really.
God love their neighbours, imagine living next door to that dross?

So thankful to read posts like this, which make me feel less like an alien. I think your friends sound horrible and if I was your neighbour I would be disgusted by all of you.

ThickFast · 02/07/2020 12:25

Can’t believe they just left! Has your husband spoken to them yet?

incognitomum · 02/07/2020 12:34

I have a headache just thinking of the amount they drank!

Glad they didn't drive.

StealthPolarBear · 02/07/2020 12:53

Interesting to see what someone else thought it was two single parent households that could form a bubble. I swear when Johnson introduced this at a briefing he spoke about individuals or single parent households forming bubbles "with another household of the same type" but it has never been mentioned again.

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