So embarrassed by friends. AIBU to ask them to leave tomorrow morning?

[Rebecca980]

Our friends - a gay couple - who we have been close with for the last 15 years came over to stay. They have had one set of parents, a sister, her baby and their two dogs staying with them for two weeks whilst they wait to move into their new place. They needed a break so we said they could come and stay with us for a few days. They are in our ‘bubble’. We’ve both recently moved from London to the south coast close by - which was a decision we made together really.

DH and I have been friends with them for years. Before DD came along and we were married. We’ve had wild times - but we’ve all grown up....or so I thought.

They arrived with bottle of vodka in tow. It lasted them about an hour until they pulled out another and it went.

We have made friends with our neighbours since we Moved here and have made an active effort to try and integrate ourselves in our new area and street.

I am SO EMBARRASSED by their behaviour this evening. It’s like they regressed to us being 20 again.

By the time DD went to bed, they were screaming in the garden, swearing (C word at the end of almost every sentence), trying to talk to neighbours over the fences. They also love ‘shock values - which was funny when we were kids but really isn’t now and they reverted straight back to it.

I’m embarrassed our neighbours have heard them and worried how it reflects on us. I’m sure they could also hear us trying to sort them out.

I’m also annoyed at DH a little as I was trying to get them inside but was getting no support in that.

Some of the things they were shouting have left me unable to sleep and worried about how it reflects.

They have hearts of gold, and DD adores themes Bhave always been terrible drunks. I don’t actually like being drunk so maybe this has been exasperated because I wasn’t drinking....

I get they were excited as they had a much needed little break from a stressful time, but I really am thinking of asking them to go back tomorrow rather than staying any more days. AIBU? And how should I approach this with the neighbours? Just a quick sorry next time I see them?

They’ve also broken a few bits in the house by falling into them.

Both DH and I are pretty mortified. But also know they’ve been stressed and want to give them an opportunity to unwind.

If they have gone, don’t be too hard on them. What’s done is done. And your DH bollocking them will only damage the relationship. They’ve gone, so at least there is that.

But a bottle of vodka each. They have a drink problem and are enabling each other.

I hope they weren't driving? A bottle of vodka each...

The rules relating to bubbles are not confusing - if you bother to read them. Even the tabloid press has provided simple guides. Ignorance is no defence.
It's clear that some people are interpreting them in a way to suit them and others are ignoring them completely ( including high profile individuals)

It's very frustrating to those of us that have bothered to follow them even though it meant the last few months have been miserable and stressful.

Maybe it's time people shut up about bubbles. Pubs are open in two days. If you can go to the pub, you can go see your friends.

Re the issue, I wouldn't care, they got pissed, it happens.

Oft, that's some update OP. They clearly have woken up with The Fear, which is always worse if you have something to actually have The Fear about.

Text your neighbours or nip round and apologise. I don't think there's anything you can do about the person in the flat if you don't know who it was?

I would be expecting a massive bunch of flowers from your friends tomorrow.

This really reminds me of a similar situation years ago when I got married and my other friend moved in with her partner. Our mutal friend behaved appallingly for around 6 months - in very similar ways and worse, like dropping the C bomb at my friend's bar when she was working, which should have got him barred - and we ended up not being friends anymore. He admitted years later he felt totally insecure about our life changes and didn't know how to handle it. Such a shame, I loved him very much and still miss him but sometimes enough is enough.

OP it seems they are probably feeling a similar way to you, embarrassed about their behaviour and just want to duck out instead of facing a bollocking from their friends.

You will probably look back on this and laugh. A quick apology to your neighbours next time you see them, a chat with your friends about how being shit-faced and raucous isn't really appropriate at your house I'm afraid, and get over it.

It sounds like you all are very close long-standing friends (there's not many people I trust to look after my children) so don't let one night ruin it.

Being called a cunt by rowdy guests of a neighbour when asking them to keep the noise down is definitely not ok. Why should your neighbours have to listen to continuous drunken shouting and, from the sounds of it, anti semetic ‘bantz’ when the guests shouldn’t be there in the first place?! For that alone they were massively unreasonable.

Perhaps the OP was just testing her hearing by having loud friends to stay.. This is the best comment.

Did they drive home OP? Because if so there’s no way they were sober so you can add drink drivers to their list of issues. Personally I think that’s worse than any of their other problems here.

@drumandthebass

If I were your neighbour I'd
be more pissed off with you for flouting the lockdown rules rather than the loudness and swearing.

As come on, you're just not one of the cool kids! Haven't you seen all the threads on here with the 'I don't know anyone who's had it therefore it doesn't exist/it's only flu' lot baying that they'll do what they like and lockdown be damned? You need to get down with the morons kids. 🤪

Anyway, I digress ...

@Thisismytimetoshine

I hope they weren't driving? A bottle of vodka each...

Eek, hadn’t considered this...this is unacceptable in my eyes.

I get it OP. I have friends like this too. I have a large group of friends I've known for over 20 years. We spent many drunk and outrageous times together and whilst I've settled down and become more sensible (boring in their eyes perhaps) they remain exactly the same. They are very often drunk and their lives revolve around drinking and having fun. About half this group are gay and half are not but what they have in common is lack of children - which means nothing gets in the way of their fun. I know being gay is irrelevant. I suppose gay people are just slightly less likely to have children (I say slightly less likely as I know plenty of gay people are parents, of course). These friends are great for a decadent weekend away - at their house or somewhere else but I would be embarrassed if my neighbours heard us all drunk and shouting out about fisting or blow jobs or whatever we were discussing! 😂 It's happened now so there's not much you can do about it. If it was me I'd drop the neighbours a note saying "I'm so sorry about all the noise last night. Our friends got a little carried away and I know the topic of conversation was outrageous at times".

Well firstly they shouldn't be at yours at the moment. It's allowed from the 4th July but the fact that their house already has people staying over with them, you shouldn't have invited them to stay with you. But everyone else seems to be. I cannot believe how many people in this country find it so hard to follow simple rules.

But aside from that, you have a young child at home, i hope she didn't hear all that going on.
This morning you need to say to them no more drinking. If they intend to carry on then they need to leave.
But going forward from this, it is obvious that your lives now are polar opposites. Yes continue to be friends at arms length but you know now you won't be able to invite them over again

@Thisismytimetoshine you beat me to it!

Bravo OP, you’ve just added drink-driving to the thread that already covers homophobia, racism, cunt shouting, lockdown breaking, police reporting, child neglecting, snobbery, neighbour enraging.... please please tell me they blocked someone’s driveway with their car last night.

Meh what a storm in a teacup

They got a bit trigger happy and Sweary after 3 months in lockdown

Till 10pm
Not 4am

Send them round mine !

As a PP said I’ve seen a lot worse

I think you are very well rid of these "friends" to be honest.

I don't like drunken behaviour from others, having sometimes born the brunt of such twattery from my alcoholic BIL.

If anyone thought it OK to get blind drunk and raucous in my garden and shout the C word at my neighbours then they would be immediately asked to leave. There would be no return invitation and I would absolutely be telling them how out of order and hugely embarrassing they were.

They are not "sweet" FFS. With friends like those, you don't need enemies.

That is quite apart from the "bubble" issue.

@Quayy They got an Uber over, so assume they did the same going back.

Please don’t break the bubble rules, if too many people do this the privilege may be taken away from all of us.

Apologise to your neighbours, don’t allow then in your house again, they can’t behave.

@Rebecca980

In England,ScotlandandNorthern Ireland, single adults living alone - or single parents whose children are under 18 - can now form a support bubble with one other household.

The second household can be of any size.

The bubble rules are not at all confusing. You have a husband and child, and those 2 are married. Neither of you are single person households. They also have other people staying with them, which they shouldnt have. You've all completely broken the rules... and they were not hard to understand.

Is there something that make you special and above the rules which the rest of us gabw made sacrifices to stick too?

[quote Rebecca980]@Quayy They got an Uber over, so assume they did the same going back.[/quote]
Phew, glad to hear that!

[quote BobbieDraper]@Rebecca980

In England,ScotlandandNorthern Ireland, single adults living alone - or single parents whose children are under 18 - can now form a support bubble with one other household.

The second household can be of any size.

The bubble rules are not at all confusing. You have a husband and child, and those 2 are married. Neither of you are single person households. They also have other people staying with them, which they shouldnt have. You've all completely broken the rules... and they were not hard to understand.

Is there something that make you special and above the rules which the rest of us gabw made sacrifices to stick too?[/quote]
FFS a million people have already said this I. This thread and they’ve already left, just stop already.

I'd be appalled by a back neighbours shouting "Be quiet," at 7.30 and your 'sweet friend' responding with No and a torrent of abuse...then another of your neighbours thought shouting abuse was hilarious and "burst out laughing"...strange. What if the neighbours at the back are elderly, ill, trying to settle a baby, have young children...or just don't want to hear that. It would have been better nipped in the bud last night. They need to apologise to your neighbours (the one's who didn't find it hilarious) not you. You need to tell this straight this morning you can't hsve that kind of behaviour in your hom^e.

@Quayy

Yes, and OP has basically responded with "I dont care about that".

She should care. She should actually accept that they were totally wrong, educate themselves and stick to the bloody rules like the majority of the country.

She isnt special and unless she's completely thick, she should be able to understand very simple rules.

Just read this thread. Totally ignoring the bubble and homophobic comments, especially the latter

Anyway OP, sounds like problem solved if they’ve gone already though bad craic, sneaking off at dawn! Def worth a conversation but not falling out forever over. And next time, maybe they need to go light on the vodka!
As for your neighbours, I’d Have a quick chat with the lady you know overheard them but would be OTT to do a mass apology to the whole street. Even if someone is disgruntled and confronts you, a short sincere apology should be enough.

'They tidied the kitchen but I am really pissed off with them they couldn’t stick around because they knew they were going to get a bollocking....

Couldn’t even face the music! It’s typical really....

What are you, their F-ing mum!? You were going to bollock them?
They got drunk, acted like arseholes. They probably know it, and will apologise once they've recovered from the Fear. maybe they did need to get back for something.

only in the UK is swilling to oblivion seen as a jolly jape, rather than the filthy behaviour it is.

I hope your skanky mates are on the phone as soon as they are able to talk, with grovelling apologies. They also need to return and apologise in person to the neighbours.

sexuality irrelevant. Probably a lockdown breach but no-one cares about that any more, do they?