Aibu to think that "any old crap will do for the kids" is mean and a cop out?

[GoingToTheParkWithBoltcutters]

I'm noticing this with some people since having children

Disclaimer: I am not a high earner, my kids are dressed in hand me downs and supermarket clothes, we can stretch to caravan holidays but that's it. So this isn't about me being snobby or precious.

They seem to think that any sort of effort on behalf of a child is wasted. Value chicken nugget type meals because it's only for the kids. Why bother taking them on days out anywhere that isn't soft play, they're only kids and they won't appreciate it. Dress them in clothes that are falling apart because they're only kids. Don't bother decorating their rooms as they're only kids, they'll wreck it.

It's like a race to the bottom. I get that children can be heavy handed, picky eaters and all the rest, but how will they grow up learning to care for their things and eat well if there is no effort made to teach them in the first place, because they're "just kids?"

I find it really depressing. Surely children should have some nice things just like the rest of us?

@gingerbreadslice

I've noticed it in the past not so much now. But as a kid we was given shit like anything out of tin with toast, beans on toast. Just shit meals and made to sit in the pub all day with a chicken box thing and lucky bag. Does anyone even remember lucky bags

I remember them. Sounds like my childhood. My parents ate shit too though so it wasn't just the kids eating the frozen crap.

@Dougalthesyrianhamster

Every time I hear of (British) children refusing to eat anything that isn't junk food I wonder how they got so used to it in the first place.

How f'ing DARE you?!
My DD has Autism and will only eat fish fingers, mashed potato, plain chicken, cheese, pears & sometimes chips, despite me following ALL the guidance from weaning and making my own baby food.
She used to eat anything I put in front of her and I love to cook. Then suddenly it was like her autism sprung up out of nowhere and bam! The only food she will touch is beige, flavour less food that smells of nothing and is dry..... Even without Autism, a lot of young children have food phobias and will only eat dry, beige food - not because it is 'junk food!'
•It's beige.
•It's not soggy.
•It smells of nothing.
•It's always the same....

Please don't judge parents on what their children eat. Not all kids are the same!! Yes, some parents don't even try but that is NOT usually the case.

Dougal do you want a theory behind the kids love of beige food?

The theory goes back in cave man days. Babys ate everything as mum was in control. As babys become toddlers they become curious. Its dangerous for toddlers to pick leaves from plants and things. They might eat poisonous plants therefore it's a safely mechanism that they want beige food.

I’ve just realised my MIL is like this. She only serves chicken when we visit. One day she had steak and made such a big deal out of giving it to the children and how expensive it
was. She did the same with duck one day. There is no shortage of money there but MIL is very tight.

My granny was a bit like that. She would definitely have considered steak and duck 'too rich' for small digestive systems and served bread and butter instead...

@Sittingontheveranda

She eats spaghetti hoops but getting her to eat them for the first time was a struggle.

Why did you try to get her to eat hoops? There is no nutritional value in them and they taste incredibly artificial. You’d have been better off serving plain pasta with a little butter.

Actually if you read the side of a spaghetti hoops tin they count as one of your 5 a day. I imagine it must be the tomato sauce.

Its dangerous for toddlers to pick leaves from plants and things. They might eat poisonous plants therefore it's a safely mechanism that they want beige food.
What beige food grows in the wild?

By your logic, they'd be eating a farmers arse through a hedge, whilst avoiding the hedge.

Never known any family like this OP.

I babysat for a family for several years, three to four nights a week - every night the kids would be fed the same crap - a baked sausage, boiled potato, peas and a carrot.

The real kicker? The parents ran a silver service restaurant. Dad was the chef.

I would have been more than happy to either cook or serve them something different, but nooooo - it just made life 'simpler' for the parents. Their word.

I'm not convinced that's the worst meal they could have been eating...
Repetitive, certainly.

@GoingToTheParkWithBoltcutters I see you've met my ex's parents and one of his sisters!

They just wouldn't put any effort in raising their kids.

We do this but in sort of a different way. Like sometimes me and my husband are craving junk food and one of us will go “But what will the kids eat?” and the other will go “Oh there’s some leftover veg in the fridge - that will do”. So they’re actually getting the better, healthier option that neither of us want to eat! (For clarity, the kids are under 3).

im the opposite, my kids are dressed better, eat better and have nicer days out than me

because that makes me happy too. I want to raise them to show them what hard work gets you.

im the opposite, my kids are dressed better, eat better and have nicer days out than me

because that makes me happy too. I want to raise them to show them what hard work gets you.

Are you in the northeast OP? That’s the only place I encountered this attitude that it was “posh” and “stuck-up” to be educated, or cultured, or to speak properly, or to eat healthily and exercise. (I’m talking about grammar, not accent, before anyone pipes up about it!) And the only person I know who gives her kids any old shite while keeping the better stuff for herself because “they’re only kids” is also from there. Obviously I’m not saying that everyone from the northeast is like that - most probably aren’t - but there are definitely some!

@Thisismytimetoshine

Its dangerous for toddlers to pick leaves from plants and things. They might eat poisonous plants therefore it's a safely mechanism that they want beige food. What beige food grows in the wild?

None! That's the point. It stops little kids munching on plants as a safety mechanism but has side effect of stopping kids eating veg too. It was a theory I heard on some TV kids development program.

@HarryHarry DHs family is Scottish and they are the worst I’ve met for it. Their utter hatred and suspicion for people having any kind of education is breathtaking.
I think you get it everywhere.

I've never noticed this.

@HarryHarry ex and his family are from Hull!

Though one of his sisters was lovely!

My DS has been brought up in my siblings hand me downs, however my exMIL who is from a posh town in Yorkshire, insists that they are gross and worn so constantly buys him new clothes. She isn’t posh though so I don’t get it. The clothes are fine and he picks holes in his new ones or slides down grass and on Astro turf,..I’d rather do that in old clothes.

Then, my ex was the primary caregiver whilst I worked for years and he fed him solely on beige food unless I had left “good” food in the fridge. Since I left him I’ve tried to make sure DS has a good healthy diet which is a struggle but he’s getting better. He does get beige food once or twice a week at most because sometimes I just can’t be arsed so fish fingers and wedges it is. Although I’d actually rather cook a load of bolognese or whatever on one night even if it takes me a while and then reheat for the next few days then battle oven timings because for some weird reason I hate putting things in at different times.

The only thing I make sure he has of really good quality are shoes, tried cheap ones and they fell apart. And he would love to go to the cinema and have expensive treats more but that’s not in my budget. However, his grandma gives in to him everytime he asks for something and he’s brought that attitude home. I say no more than I say yes

im the opposite, my kids are dressed better, eat better and have nicer days out than me

because that makes me happy too. I want to raise them to show them what hard work gets you

I dont get this. Why should your kids eat better than you and have better days out than you? Surely everyone should eat the same or similar, everyone should have nice days out.
All that seems to be taught is you arent worth nice things but they are. I would think you are making a rod for your own back.

Yes and no !

Food 100% agree
Clothes , well ish , as they grow out of them so fast I err to the cheaper end of the market !

But yes , overall

@Thisismytimetoshine

Its dangerous for toddlers to pick leaves from plants and things. They might eat poisonous plants therefore it's a safely mechanism that they want beige food. What beige food grows in the wild?

None. That’s the whole point.

I'd be over the moon if the kids ate the nutritious meals I ate!! Instead they want chicken goujons (I buy the good quality, 100% chicken breast ones), pizza, pasta, etc. I maje their food as nutritious as I can but it's a nightmare trying to get them to eat a wider range of foods.

What about all those beige coloured poisonous mushrooms? :o

I am joking a bit because I have heard the fussy = protection from exploring new foods thing before and it does sort of make sense, but to expand that to "They only know beige foods as safe" is a bit of a stretch, IMO.