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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Ex’s baby name almost the same as my name

248 replies

wrongsaidfred · 01/07/2020 13:12

Ex-boyfriend has named his new baby daughter almost with my name with one letter added in. AIBU to be shocked and confused?

OP posts:
Yeahnahmum · 02/07/2020 00:18

You only dated for 2 years. It wasn't like you had been together forever, were married and had kids.

So it might have been a little bit weird for you maybe. But he clearly wasn't thinking about you anymore when he named the baby Blush

Omgkittys · 02/07/2020 01:46

It’s probably just a coincidence and they liked the name.

I have 2 dds Delilah and Harlow Audrina (audrina is middle name) that BILs ex had met and spent time with, she now has a DD Delila Audrey (Audrey after her great aunt) and a DS Arlo. Grin

Flittingabout · 02/07/2020 07:07

Yes you could turn it around but I highly doubt he is on reddit saying my ex girlfriend I only dated for 2 years was called Kate, is it weird to mention it to my new partner who loves the name Kallie?

borntohula · 02/07/2020 08:22

I was just thinking 'hmm I would use an ex's name if I liked it enough' but actually, one particular ex has ruined his name forever for me. If any of my exes named a child after me, I'd be Hmm because nobody else has this name.

Thurmanmurman · 02/07/2020 08:49

It depends. Is it a lad you went out with for a month in school or a long term partner you recently split from? If the latter it's possibly slightly strange but the former, he's probably forgotten about you!

Nymeriastark1 · 02/07/2020 09:11

@PickwickThePlockingDodo op said they were together 2 years, the baby was born this year a year after her DD. Or have i worked that out wrong. If her DD isn't his this is all very close together and confusing 😂

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 02/07/2020 10:59

No that's correct but they don't have a child together (her and her ex). I think she was with him for two years. Left him, met her new partner and had a baby with him. Then a year later her ex had a baby with a new woman. I think that's right. 😂

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 02/07/2020 11:05

We broke up and I met current partner and had DD, fairly quickly. His daughter was born this year, a year after mine

Hmm @Nymeriastark1 just re-read it and it could be either tbf.
Do you have a child with him @wrongsaidfred? Because I think that makes a lot of difference.

Rowan8 · 02/07/2020 11:15

@wrongsaidfred

I vaguely recall reading an article that stated that many men subconsciously/consciously name their children after an ex, the one that got away/that left them, somehow it doesn’t surprise me, if be more inclined to think his current doesn’t know anything about you and what your name is. I’d go with your gut, you knew him and how things ended. Pp can say, you’re being full of yourself blah, blah, BLAH.. but listen to your gut it’s usually true.

Rowan8 · 02/07/2020 11:23

@wrongsaidfred

Sorry you’ve had a full on onslaught, I think your thoughts are valid and most likely true. Flowers

You were in the relationship for some time, and his next was with his baby mama and all very recent so more than likely 2 + 2 = 4 in this instance. Wonder how many other women have realised or still don’t, their children may be named after their partners ex....

PickwickThePlockingDodo · 02/07/2020 11:43

his next was with his baby mama

Baby mama? 🤮

Thisismytimetoshine · 02/07/2020 11:49

Wtf is a baby mama?

GertiMJN · 02/07/2020 12:28

Sorry you’ve had a full on onslaught, I think your thoughts are valid and most likely true.Flowers
listen to your gut it’s usually true.

Why does OP need sympathy and why does she need to listen to her gut feelings ? In what possible way does her ex''s child's name affect her?

LisaSimpsonsbff · 02/07/2020 12:51

Wonder how many other women have realised or still don’t, their children may be named after their partners ex....

But I just don't get what you think the man who is sneakily naming his child after his ex would get out of it? 'Oh, every time I call my child's name I can think of that dirty weekend in Brighton in 2014?' I mean, if you really think that then aren't there questions about his fitness to parent?

If you discovered an ex named his sex doll or imaginary girlfriend after you it's pretty clear what's going on. How could you see that he'd named his child after you and think 'must mean he still desperately wants me'?

rainbowstardrops · 02/07/2020 13:03

I think it depends how similar the names sound. I agree that it's a bit odd though.

backseatcookers · 02/07/2020 16:39

Why does OP need sympathy and why does she need to listen to her gut feelings ? In what possible way does her ex''s child's name affect her?

This - it's totally and utterly irrelevant to OP's life!

AJGranny · 02/07/2020 16:40

Has no one here seen the movie 'Guilt Trip'?
OP you definitely should watch it.

ZoeCM · 02/07/2020 17:23

@LisaSimpsonsbff

Wonder how many other women have realised or still don’t, their children may be named after their partners ex....

But I just don't get what you think the man who is sneakily naming his child after his ex would get out of it? 'Oh, every time I call my child's name I can think of that dirty weekend in Brighton in 2014?' I mean, if you really think that then aren't there questions about his fitness to parent?

If you discovered an ex named his sex doll or imaginary girlfriend after you it's pretty clear what's going on. How could you see that he'd named his child after you and think 'must mean he still desperately wants me'?

I agree. People are just trying to stir up drama.
madcow88 · 02/07/2020 17:26

@HeeeeyDuggee

They probably just likes the name however try to ignore it and don’t give it any thought.

My DH ex celebrates her child’s birthday on our DS birthday even tho it’s not his birthday. Her kid is a year younger and when the kid was born she posted all over her social media saying that even tho her child’s birthday is xxx day forget in her heart his birthday is XX day (my child’s birthday) therefore she will be using that date to celebrate and even has the date tattooed on her! Bonkers

What an absolute psychopath Confused
SunshineCake · 02/07/2020 17:26

@GabsAlot

demi moore?
What about her ?
Betty1119 · 02/07/2020 17:31

@heyduggie - What?!?!
I'm so confused!!
She doesn't celebrate her son's birthday on his actual birthday?

SunshineCake · 02/07/2020 17:36

It was a bit of a moment when I heard my first love, broke my heart, never got over him properly , had named his child the same name as my first who I had had the year before. It never crossed my mind to ask if he had named him after my child!

Jeeperscreepers69 · 02/07/2020 17:52

And......

ZoeCM · 02/07/2020 18:25

The poster who said OP's ex's gravestone will look weird still hasn't explained it! What did you mean, @TheSandgroper?

Catwaving · 02/07/2020 18:38

I think the fact the OP says he's narcissistic puts a very different spin on this......

So yes, I think he was/is trying to get to her in some way, or is holding this information in abeyance from his current partner inorder to upset her with it at some future date

That's how those people operate