Men on Mumsnet

[R2519]

Hi
I'm posting on AIBU, mainly for traffic, but will use the voting function to see what people think.

I am a man and have used MN for a few years now. I was a SAHD for our first child after doing shared parental leave with my wife. She wanted to go back to work and is the main earner so decided i would stay at home for another year. I am now back at work and our DD is in nursery. Anyway, i digress. I found MN to be hugely helpful when i was a SAHD. A huge wealth of information from other parents, mainly mums, on what to expect and how to deal with different situations. I genuinely found it invaluable.

This is where my question comes in......I am assuming that MN, as the name probably suggests, was created for Mums.....women, but i think its pretty common knowledge a lot of men use it too. Some like me, who are SAHD's or find it invaluable for parenting information but i am also sure there are some men who use it for questionable means (like the sex chat area for example).

So, my question is.......do women think men have a place on MN or would they rather men not use it?
Yes / IABU = Men have a place
No / IANBU = Would prefer men not use MN
(sorry, not sure the best way round for those)

Its a very general question i know but on the face of it i wondered if some women felt it was another example of men invading safe spaces, IYSWIM......I appreciate it may sound extreme but i was curious as to how people felt about it.

Finally, i know anyone can use any platform to give their opinion (providing its not illegal), I'm just curious to know opinions....from women and men too.

Thanks

You can always tell a male by their ponderous self important writing style. No woman writes like that. Even ponderous self important women never write like that. Once you've seen it you can't unsee it.

If that's the case, there must be an awful lot of men on here, many of them writing about their husbands. Goodness, who knew that gay men comprised such a massive proportion of MNers....

The much-esteemed PigletJohn has already been mentioned on here. Have you ever seen his posts? He's straight in to the crux of the matter on which he has specialist personal knowledge and then away again. He's like Wikipedia, but without the lies!

@Starthere

You can always tell a male by their ponderous self important writing style. No woman writes like that

This could only be confidently stated by somebody who knows all the men and all the women. Otherwise it's just one opinion, based on a small, undefined subset, of the the writer's experience.

PigletJohn has given me some really good advice over the years, mainly about taps. Agree, he doesn't hang around waffling about it either.

Well speaking as a ma...er....er...anyway I've been here a while , first came looking for advice about a seriously disfunctional relationship between my step daughter and her daughter....been educated in so many ways about how many women see their lives and the men in them , and have had major re thinks about some my attitudes and assumptions . Still find it addictive , FWR not as fearsome as is suggested and AIBU and Relationships eye opening at times..

.Am quite amused by the different responses when a man posts' my wife has gone off sex ' and a women posts 'my husbands gone off sex '...but all life is here!

“Men are welcome to read and learn and educate themselves ...

You can always tell a male by their ponderous self important writing style.”

Hmmm.

Start,

So is this ‘ponderous style’ innate to the male sex or is it more a male brain thing. Do transwomen use the same ponderous style?

I first joined MN on the advice of a friend when my DH died very suddenly as a place to go to where I wound receive help, support and advice . They were right I got all of the above and more from both men and women and was ( and still am) very grateful.

A name change later and I got absolutely slated for having a 'typically male opinion' on a subject that I had a 15 year trade in ( so I knew what I was talking about )

I like to here anyone's opinion , and if I do or do not agree with what they are saying it is because of what I think not because it was said by a man or woman or someone with or without DCs

So in short yes I like both men and women been on here , regardless to what or who they identify as or the child/less status .

I will leave you to guess if I am a male or female . . . . . . . . . . . .

I like men, generally speaking, and if you have something to contribute to the discussion I'm fine with having you here.

As one of the relatively small number of American MN'ers I understand how you might feel that you're a bit of an outsider.

Not interested in (any more) men's opinions

and some openly admit to never wanting any therefore not Mums.

Yep, I'm out. I fully confess that I never wanted children, never had any, and don't regret the decision.

I love it here, though

Not interested in (any more) men's opinions

Well considering that the people who run this website have stated that it was originally aimed at all parents, but is open to everybody - and that 95% of posters have names that don't clearly signify their sex (and some that do are deliberately ambiguous) - you're going to have your work cut out sifting through threads on MN to be sure of ignoring the ones that you aren't interested in.

Personally, I just go on what the person has actually said rather than pre-filtering them out based on what genitals they happen to have.

[quote CreditCrackers]**@SoupDragon* That's because a large number of women on MN think the man is wrong just because he is a man. Post the same situation from the other sex and their responses can be very different. It happens all the time*
My husband and I tested this a few years ago. We'd post identical posts with the genders reversed - one on Mumsnet and one on Netmums so we didn't get found out. The man was wrong every single time. Every time.
Things like if one parent took the child to the park without telling the other - he's inconsiderate if the for not telling the mother, but he's controlling for expecting the mother to tell him.[/quote]
Bloody hell 😂😂😂😂

Was there nothing on the tv?

and some openly admit to never wanting any therefore not Mums.

Plenty on the TTC and baby names boards (among others) will be hoping for or expecting their first, so not yet technically mums either.

Was there nothing on the tv?

You should see some of the things that actual bona fide research scientists manage to get funding for

I know for a fact my husband dips in for advice. I can't imagine life without it. It's unparalleled for honest opinions on normal topics. The more the merrier I say! I'm pretty sure @PigletJohn is a man and I would be devastated if he left! So much practical information and cool technical stuff!!

As you can see perfectly clearly,

I can't overstate how important Mumsnet is as a primarily female led space.

Just because you have decided that MN has to be a female led space doesn't mean it was ever designed or has to be that way. I specifically do not want MN to be a female space!

Start your own forum if you want a female space, don't try to annex this one. I mean you can try, you won't go far.

I like it on here. I joined as a parent, stayed as a divorced dad, engage and comment as a person.

Yes it’s unusual in that the default assumption is that a poster is a woman, and I like that the general “view” is more female (if there can be such a thing).

I’m on other sites too (someone mentioned pistonheads) and there are both similarities and differences. I’ve been here 10 years so I must like it.

No woman writes like that

What way should a woman write, or speak?! FFS have I been womanning wrong again lol

Just for clarity as I know it sometimes needs pointing out, I know it wasn't aimed at me but I'd like to know what is the right way to write as a proper woman

@PigletJohn

As you can see perfectly clearly,

You’re a hoot, coming in here ruffling feathers. 😁

Tom Fordy Screenshot Studies 101

I'd agree with the PP who said that MN is a very particular blend of females. I'd say there is a larger proportion than average of users with MH issues especially health anxiety; in abusive relationships, and with DC with ASD. Or maybe they just post more. And a lot who just want an argument with someone, anyone.

So from that perspective alone I'm a bit puzzled why men would want to join in. But it doesn't bother me.

I have no issue with it

@PenelopePitstop49

I'd agree with the PP who said that MN is a very particular blend of females. I'd say there is a larger proportion than average of users with MH issues especially health anxiety; in abusive relationships, and with DC with ASD. Or maybe they just post more. And a lot who just want an argument with someone, anyone.

So from that perspective alone I'm a bit puzzled why men would want to join in. But it doesn't bother me.

Because all of those things affect men too?