Men on Mumsnet

[R2519]

Hi
I'm posting on AIBU, mainly for traffic, but will use the voting function to see what people think.

I am a man and have used MN for a few years now. I was a SAHD for our first child after doing shared parental leave with my wife. She wanted to go back to work and is the main earner so decided i would stay at home for another year. I am now back at work and our DD is in nursery. Anyway, i digress. I found MN to be hugely helpful when i was a SAHD. A huge wealth of information from other parents, mainly mums, on what to expect and how to deal with different situations. I genuinely found it invaluable.

This is where my question comes in......I am assuming that MN, as the name probably suggests, was created for Mums.....women, but i think its pretty common knowledge a lot of men use it too. Some like me, who are SAHD's or find it invaluable for parenting information but i am also sure there are some men who use it for questionable means (like the sex chat area for example).

So, my question is.......do women think men have a place on MN or would they rather men not use it?
Yes / IABU = Men have a place
No / IANBU = Would prefer men not use MN
(sorry, not sure the best way round for those)

Its a very general question i know but on the face of it i wondered if some women felt it was another example of men invading safe spaces, IYSWIM......I appreciate it may sound extreme but i was curious as to how people felt about it.

Finally, i know anyone can use any platform to give their opinion (providing its not illegal), I'm just curious to know opinions....from women and men too.

Thanks

@R2519
I think it's great to have a man's opinion. Additionally I do rather like when mens posts start "As a man", I like knowing it is a male pov.

More than happy for men to be here as long as they don't barge into threads and mansplain women's issues to us - which sadly happens all too often here.

This.

Unless someone announces they are a man I wouldn't know from a username whether they were man, woman, or houseplant but there are some men on MN who feel the need to announce that they are A Man and have arrived with their Manly Opinion to impart some Manly Wisdom. They are often to be found saying things like "not all men..." and "speaking as a man..." and "well women should..." then if anyone takes issue with the Very Important Man Thoughts they are posting they blame it on MN being "full of man haters".

Basically, it's fine for men to post on MN but don't be a dick and don't blame "man hating" for any shirt shrift that you receive.

You can be here but don't announce that you're a man. If you announce that you're a man then we'll hate you. Also, if you don't announce that you're a man and we figure it out then we'll hate you. Also, if we don't figure it out and someone asks and we find out then we'll hate it. Also, if we don't figure it out and no one asks then we'll assume you're a woman which may or may not be relevant - we won't hate you...unless we then find out that you're a man and then we'll hate you twice as much.
Also, you're always wrong - unless you're gay, in which case we make an exception. But don't announce that you're gay, straight people don't need to so why do you? But we'll assume you're not gay and hate you unless we figure out that you're gay.
Enjoy this fun game we like to play.

Don't have a problem with men using MN in the slightest, as the tagline says - by parents for parents.
It's a parenting site and both men and women can be parents.

[quote TARSCOUT]@sexnotgender
Genuine question, was your original post meant to be humourous, sarcastic or actual opinion. I'm not sure?[/quote]
It was my actual opinion. I’m bored of seeing threads from men, one on the relationship board recently asking for ‘women’s input’ then getting the raging hump because us women didn’t give him the answers he was looking for.
It’s tedious as fuck and I see it more from men than women.
Women can obviously be a pain in the arse too but the OP specifically asked about men.

No one knows whether you are a man, woman or anything else on the internet.

This does lead to interesting threads as other posters make assumptions about you until you point out your lived experience is difference due to who you are.

Mumsnet is just a name. Everybody has the right to be here. I like input from everyone.

Don't be a twat. That's it really.

Basically, it's fine for men to post on MN but don't be a dick and don't blame "man hating" for any shirt shrift that you receive.

You explained it much better than me😂

It’s tedious as fuck and I see it more from men than women.

That's because a large number of women on MN think the man is wrong just because he is a man. Post the same situation from the other sex and their responses can be very different. It happens all the time.

This site has evolved. I don’t have kids. I come here because I like reading AIBU and cf threads. If I see a thread about pregnancy or a question about children, I don’t click it.

There’s space here for everyone.

MN is much more than just parenting discussions by/for women.

OP, your assumption that MN was created for Mums is incorrect, as the tagline ("by parents for parents") and the "about" page make clear. www.mumsnet.com/info/about-us. I believe the founders are quoted somewhere as saying they just thought "ParentsNet" would have been a bit more clunky as a name.

Obviously, my username gives away that I am a man, and I feel that's a helpful courtesy on a female-dominated forum to give that indication. But in general, for many of the discussions that I get involved in on this site, being male or female is not relevant.

@SoupDragon That's because a large number of women on MN think the man is wrong just because he is a man. Post the same situation from the other sex and their responses can be very different. It happens all the time
My husband and I tested this a few years ago. We'd post identical posts with the genders reversed - one on Mumsnet and one on Netmums so we didn't get found out. The man was wrong every single time. Every time.
Things like if one parent took the child to the park without telling the other - he's inconsiderate if the for not telling the mother, but he's controlling for expecting the mother to tell him.

Well, I use YouTube and I'm not a tube.

Mumsnet is just a name. Everybody has the right to be here. I like input from everyone.

That's it, really. Just don't be an idiot.

@WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat
Well, I use YouTube and I'm not a tube
But are you a "You"?
Like, I used Mumsnet but I'm not a net.

So you were trolling, then Credit. I know times are boring but couldn't you think of anything else to do?

I think for SAHDs, it must be a great parenting resource. And that's fine. But a man using it for any other reason is odd.

The sex forum is really creepy in my humble (Male) opinion. You can tell when it’s a bloke posting (which is most of them) without them starting ‘as a man....’ I suspect a fair few are there for the kicks

I think for SAHDs, it must be a great parenting resource. And that's fine. But a man using it for any other reason is odd

Why?
I'd have thought men were just as likely as women to want conversation with other adults, there's tons of things unrelated to parenting on here from pet to holiday forums.

What I really like about MN is that it’s the only place I frequent where the default human is a woman. I assume everyone’s female unless they say otherwise. There’s something really comforting about that in a world where the opposite is the norm.

I don’t mind men being here as a part of the community, I loathe how some men turn up to impart their wisdom with no interest or respect for the people here.

The culture has changed over the past fifteen years that I’ve been around, but that’s due to the increased numbers not a change in sex ratios.

I like that being called Mumsnet tends to put off the misogynists from wanting to join

@StonedRoses
My wife is on here and told me the other day she saw a post on the Sex forum about a women asking for advise on where to look for a FWB. She said she was mid 20's i think and apparently a poster said he was a man looking for another FWB and was late 50's and to PM him. I mean WTF......it speaks volumes really!

@CreditCrackers that's interesting, and it doesn't surprise me.

I don't mind overall but there seem to be more and more "my ex is a psycho rah rah rah" types who won't listen to anyone suggesting otherwise.