Men on Mumsnet

[R2519]

Hi
I'm posting on AIBU, mainly for traffic, but will use the voting function to see what people think.

I am a man and have used MN for a few years now. I was a SAHD for our first child after doing shared parental leave with my wife. She wanted to go back to work and is the main earner so decided i would stay at home for another year. I am now back at work and our DD is in nursery. Anyway, i digress. I found MN to be hugely helpful when i was a SAHD. A huge wealth of information from other parents, mainly mums, on what to expect and how to deal with different situations. I genuinely found it invaluable.

This is where my question comes in......I am assuming that MN, as the name probably suggests, was created for Mums.....women, but i think its pretty common knowledge a lot of men use it too. Some like me, who are SAHD's or find it invaluable for parenting information but i am also sure there are some men who use it for questionable means (like the sex chat area for example).

So, my question is.......do women think men have a place on MN or would they rather men not use it?
Yes / IABU = Men have a place
No / IANBU = Would prefer men not use MN
(sorry, not sure the best way round for those)

Its a very general question i know but on the face of it i wondered if some women felt it was another example of men invading safe spaces, IYSWIM......I appreciate it may sound extreme but i was curious as to how people felt about it.

Finally, i know anyone can use any platform to give their opinion (providing its not illegal), I'm just curious to know opinions....from women and men too.

Thanks

On a similar note, as it is largely female dominated on here it’s a good place for men to be open to the issues that women often face throughout parenthood

I suppose the name "mumsnet" doesn't sound very inclusive to men, but then it doesn't sound very inclusive to childfree people either, and there's plenty of those here. The forum is so diverse in it's topics that I see it as having room for everyone.

That being said, I primarily come here for pregnancy/baby stuff. I think this is MN's bread and butter.

I've had a couple of condescending comments because the posters thought I am male!

The name is a Line of Duty reference, I'm not a fella.

I just worry about the women married to these men who post on MN. Surely they're thinking - give me some fucking space! Is nowhere sacred or do you feel your dick will add to every forum?

SuckingDieselFella is actually an Irish turn of phrase.

@mrsmuddlepies

There are lots of posters who begin their thread by asking for the advice of specific male posters, PigletJohn being the obvious one. They don't seem to mind mansplaining when it is getting them free building and plumbing advice. (Sorry PigletJohn, you are very much appreciated by MN.)

Mansplaining is almost the exact opposite of expert advice. I assume that most of the posters on here are female but i don't usually give it much thought tbh.

You can read, write and have something relevant to say. That's fine by me.

Posters who are rude, condescending or fail to use paragraphs get called out very quickly.

I've always thought it was for parents because of the strapline but as a PP said, there are lots of non-parents here too.
I'm fine with men being here as long as they accept this is one of the few places online that is female-centred, that gives women permission to leave shit relationships, that helps women assert boundaries and that doesn't pander to men.
Men are treated differently because of those reasons and because statistically they are different - just look at the rates regarding primary carers, salaries, DV, murder, rape, etc. Posters act like it's a gotcha that men are treated differently but that just shows they're posters who don't understand statistics.

According to the replies you have more right to be here than me OP, as I am not a parent.

some bloke asking for weaning advice, fine whatever.

some ‘As a man...’ wanker come to tell us all about his views on how empowering prostitution is, no.

Ditto for the men who create usernames like ‘Margaret24292’ and post relentlessly about how man-hating and awful Mumsnet is and why don’t we care about women like them who enjoy baking and high heels and hair curlers etc etc. Get a better hobby, fellas.

I use it for AIBU, love the CF threads. I wish I knew a few CFs in real life, I’ve learnt a thing or two from AIBU.
I usually find that the dads that mumsnet attracts are generally those that are involved, engaged dads.

@GimmeAy

They annoy me when they constantly demand validation of their presence here - like they're some rare beings. Just shut the fuck up that you're a man and get on with it like the rest of us.

I don't start threads mansplaining my credentials as a parent and then asking whether single mothers are wanted here or not. Fucking get on with it.

Plus, why do men always seem to write the most prosy lengthy, talk-to-me-like-I'm-a-2-yr-old threads I'll never know.

To be frank, I come here for the vast knowledge. Not for the general camaraderie (as there is none) or for male input. Male input into my life has been nothing short of being utter cunts, so I try to avoid them as best I can.

If you get value out of the site - big swinging diddy - we don't need acknowledgement.

YES! Why do men feel the need to announce their presence?! They may as well post a dick pick and expect praise for their manly views.

"Speaking as a man...

"From a male POV...

"What about men's rights / feelings / opinions...
It's a predominantly female forum - can't we have just one place when it isn't all about the menz and NAMALT bollocks)

@GimmeAy

I just worry about the women married to these men who post on MN. Surely they're thinking - give me some fucking space! Is nowhere sacred or do you feel your dick will add to every forum?

Well I think they'd have to be a dick themselves to think like that tbh.

@SuckingDieselFella

I've had a couple of condescending comments because the posters thought I am male!

The name is a Line of Duty reference, I'm not a fella.

Lol. I’ve seen you posting before and I assumed you used ‘SuckingDieselFella‘ as a result of being from NI. It’s an expression I grew up hearing, in the country. 😁

I think all men should be banned from AIBU.

No problem whatsoever. I don’t mind giving advice to a struggling woman or a struggling man. It always gives me a rollicking good read when a man comes across to FWR, from Twitter to show those pesky old girls a thing or two...It never ends well for them. I think every bodies view point is valid though and I don’t mind the “as a man”, so long as it’s done showing a different perspective rather than the defining turd on the thread.

I have no problem with men using Mumsnet.

Of course men are welcome!

Aggressive horrible are not but then plenty of women can be nasty!

For me it’s the general honesty, consideration and support even if challenging that I come here for. If that is from/ to a man that’s good too.

It's the grudging approach to other parents from some posters that I find objectionable. The 'I'm fine with men being here as long as they know their place' type of comment. That men have a right to be here is never in question from the MN hierarchy. Fundamentally this is a website for all parents. It is inclusive, it is never going to be exclusive. Some posters who try and lay down conditions under which men will be tolerated if they do as they are told, are not paying attention to the aims of Mumsnet, a parenting site for all parents.

The maddest part @R2519 is that some people here aren’t even parents yet at all!!!!! 😳😅

(I’ve been here years before I ever started trying, all the way through infertility and now through pregnancy)

@GimmeAy

SuckingDieselFella is actually an Irish turn of phrase.

Actually it's a Northern Ireland turn of phrase.

I have no problem with men who say they are men. Or even if they don't say they are men, but act like normal users.

The problem is the men who pretend they are women to make goady threads, or even make daft threads themselves they can go back and report on to their women hating groupchat. I used to be a mod on another forum, I know it happens.

Actually it's an Irish turn of phrase - now yer sucking diesel. Most used on Killinaskully or by D'Unbelievables who are Irish.

I know of nannies that use mumsnet for the advise

If you look after children, you can gain something from here