My brother was furloughed in March at 80% of his wage. SIL is working as normal (3 days a week) her work is hugely busy at the moment due to staff being off for childcare/self isolating/shielding and they are crying out for overtime. Brother is at home with 3 kids home schooling.
Brother messaged me in April to ask to borrow some money very apologetic didn’t budget well didn’t realize what a difference it would make to only get 80%. I said of course no problem I understand times are tough. Sent over £250.
May we were talking and he said both older kids needed new trainers and my niece had a growth spurt and he didn’t know what to do. I sorted through some of dd’s clothes and left a huge bin bag of summer clothes for them, I spoke to the kids and we chose the trainers together and I got them delivered to their house. A week later a message saying he didn’t know how he was going to afford the food shopping and he can’t believe how quickly they are going through food- yeah same mate. But I sent over £150.
June -again I’m so sorry to ask but can I borrow £300 I’ve got an unexpected bill I don’t know what to do. Don’t tell SIL I’ve asked. I asked why it was a secret because if I had a bill the person I would be telling is my spouse not my sibling. He said she would feel awkward about borrowing money but he doesn’t know what to do. I talked to dh and he agreed we could send £200 but £300 was too much of a stretch. Sent it over.
I’ve just spoken to my dad who is retired and surviving on state pension, he has nothing to his name and lives month to month. I often need to put extra electric and gas on for him or do a weeks shop. My brother has asked him for the other £100. I’m raging. My dad transferred everything from his account about £80 and has literally about £3 in his pocket. I asked why he said yes and he was upset thinking of his grandkids without food. I asked what he was going to do about food and he said oh I’ll manage It’ll be fine.
I’ve transferred £100 to my dad and have a food shop coming next week with my supermarket delivery.
I know times are tough but surely if your spouse is at home and you only work part time you would picking up all of the overtime possible (office job and social distancing in place so not high risk) Or you would apply for a mortgage holiday, or an overdraft, or a credit card. I don’t know their financial situation eg if they already have debt or what their credit scores are but surely you would look into things like food bank referrals before asking an elderly man for money.
Dh thinks I’m being unreasonable to be so angry that he asked my dad and that he had the ability to say no if he didn’t have it. I think he should have known that my dad would have given him his last for the kids who he adores and he knew that and kind of exploited it.
I’m having wine and I’m not talking to him tonight but I intend to confront him before I do am I being unreasonable to be so pissed off at him?