In Laws own our house but won't spend money on it.

[galavantingthrulife]

It's an endless source of frustration! In laws bought our house before we met as OH was struggling financially and they are well off.
They charge us rent which is slightly below the going rate but refuse to spend any money on it.
It's a fucking nightmare as I cannot divide loyalties with OH and now we are too old and with a less than perfect credit history to buy the damn thing.
It needs a new kitchen but aibu to not pay for it ourselves as we do not own it. To top it off in laws are having a new designer kitchen put in their house which they won't shut up about.
I am so annoyed at living like this!

And I do also see diddls point. I’m not arguing against it. Just saying that’s what it is and not many people seem to be aware as they only seem to rely on the idea of 7 years for inheritance tax. But people can live for 10+ years in care. So it’s worth knowing as we would never have taken the gift knowing that.

I think they want you to move out, hence the rent increase and moaning about the state of the place. Sounds like they thought they were doing your oh a favour as a stopgap and you’ve both overstayed your welcome?

In any case, move out.

@crosseyedMary

She then lectured usa bout the "state" of the property that's why she wants you there, she enjoys the power, she likes being able to treat you as mere children, it gives her a buzz

This. She is absolutely using the house as a stick to beat your oh on the head with. If you do spend money on the kitchen, odds on your mil will up the rent again. Therefore I absolutely would not.

Time to cut the apron strings. She sees herself as the benevolent mother, who’s bought her ds a house when in reality she’s acting like his jailer. Move out. It isn’t worth the hassle. I’m a ll, I could not imagine treating my dd like this. Disgraceful.

Im aching for you. Awful. Just wish someone would buy me a house lol

Would there old kitchen that is being removed be suitable to upgrade your units. You could just add new doors and facias.
Otherwise request that they do something or move.

@boabab

Im aching for you. Awful. Just wish someone would buy me a house lol

Be careful what you wish for!

How much under market value are you paying? It’s relevant. Xx

@Wouldyoudoit2

How much under market value are you paying? It’s relevant. Xx

Try RTFT.

I think this is what's meant when people say you want your bread buttered both sides.

A secure tenure and reduced rent or market rent and take your chances, you can't have it both ways.

Could you agree that you’ll pay for the kitchen (let’s say £10k) but if they have to sell for care home, you get that £10k back? You could make that a formal agreement.

Would PIL not sell house to you, your mortgage would likely be a lot less than the rent you are paying? Then you can do your own repairs or improvements?

The devil is always in the detail.

You say the rent is “slightly” below market level. I think that’s a “slightly” disingenuous slightly! £600 instead of £700 is a full 14% off. And that after increasing your rent by £50. So you were getting 21% off. Maybe not exactly if rental rates have changed.
So it’s a reasonable discount.

Presumably this has also been going on for some time? They bought it before you even met him - so he’s had this cheap rent for years, I expect - before he met you, and long enough for him to have moved you in. I’m not sure if you’re married, but I think you might be as you say the house is willed to “us”. You say that you’re now too old to buy... which does imply a reasonable passage of time. So I think that rental discount has had a chance to mount up.

You don’t say whether they have their own mortgage to pay from the rental income. You do say they’re wealthy, but that’s relative.

I’d be really interested to know if he paid more rent when you moved in? I’m imagining the AIBU... “we wanted to help our son out. He’s now moved his girlfriend in who works full time - WWBU to reduce the subsidising?”

Maybe they didn’t put up the rent after you decorated in a mean way because you’d increased the rental value. Maybe they thought, “hey - how come we are STILL subbing our adult son years after we bought his place, when they can anyway afford nice new carpets, are they taking us for a ride?”

None of that may be the case... but what I do think is true, is just because they have more money doesn’t mean they owe him subsidy. Rent at market rate of £700 means you don’t like in a super expensive area, so why exactly do two adults working full time still need that £100 from mummy and daddy?

@Wouldyoudoit2 14% under, £100 pcm. But it was £150 pcm. It doesn’t really help though. If that’s for 6 months, it’s not a lot in absolute terms. But if that’s for the last 5 years...

@galavantingthrulife

It is willed to us but they may need to sell if they need the money or care home. The kitchen is 70's and falling apart.

So you are paying them rent and they might tell you to move out so they can sell up if they need it for a care home plus they don't do any maintenance? I can't see any advantage in you staying there when you could move and get a decent landlord.

Yes the house is left to you (maybe) but if they are doing no maintenance on it then is it actually going to be habitable?

@BarbaraofSeville

Rents round here are £700 For a house

Yes, for a whole house. For a whole month.

£700 pm is a perfectly normal rent in much of the country. It's £1400 a month for a titchy house that's not normal.

I didn't ask you, I asked the OP.

How long have you lived in the house OP ?
Do the IL' s have a mortgage on the house that the rent covers or is it mortgage free ?

I would move out, for sure. The condition of the property is only going to get worse, not better. Personally if it was willed to me and I was unlikely to be thrown out I would consider spending money on it, but you don't want to do that and since the ILs sound a bit difficult you may well be wise not to risk it.

If you move to somewhere on a market rent you can probably get something much nicer, and your ILs can rent to someone else while the house remains willed to you and DH. You might find after a few bad tenants they are begging you to go back with a new kitchen thrown in.

My experience of renting is in London where you'd probably be paying about 2000 a month for what you have, but equally up until recently at least tenants were easily replaced. My DM used to let out a property in the Midlands and tenants were few and far between and were in some cases absolute nightmares. Some absconded owing months or rent, some left the place in a state I won't describe unless anyone is eating. Of course faced with that your ILs may decide to sell, not much you can do if so.

The situation makes no sense to me?

Why did they buy the house if they were just going to charge him rent on a small amount less than market value? Can they sell part of it to you in some way so you have a share in the house?

If you are only paying £100 under market value I’d just move. Surely an extra £100 is worth it to move somewhere you prefer?

@Mummyoflittledragon I think it’s unfair to say she’s treating him like she’s the jailer!

She bailed him out so he could keep his home (to live in, if not you own). It’s willed to him... now we all talk about care home fees, but it’s still the minority of older people who go into those, she has a another house to pay some of those anyway. I am a naturally cautious person, so I’m the first to say a will can be changed. There are horror stories on here, but you know I think the majority of parents who will a house to their child mean it and stick to it - so potentially, and in her eyes, she’s giving him the house.

She’s allowed his girlfriend to move in - and despite the fact there are now two adults working full time in that house, she’s still not expecting market rents. (and not should she I think - but the point is, she’s now subsidising two grown working adults)

Yes, it’s galling to have a parent tick you off - but OP says herself the house is untidy. How untidy? She says that’s because of the 14 hour days they both do. No it isn’t - it’s because they’re untidy. People out of the house all day aren’t there to make mess. I’m untidy myself! So not criticising that... but I’d like to hear the mother/landlords side of it as to just how untidy! Even so, I think a landlord should butt out on tidiness - as long as it’s fixed when keys are surrendered. But if she’s working a parent-child dynamic, isn’t he, if he’s still supported by bank of mum and dad despite two working adults living there?

We all come at these threads with our own biases. I’ll declare mine: I have long suffering parents who are still bailing out a completely ungrateful, selfish, feckless brother who is 50. So I do rather tend to consider that angle!

I once agreed with my landlord to fix the kitchen and we went 50-50. I got different proposals and we agreed on the best one. I saw over the works. In the end is a win win if you move or they sell, because if the kitchen is falling apart, nobody will want to move there or pay good money. And you will have a nice kithcen. But you should talk to your husband first come up with a plan and and bring it up to your inlaws.

If you rent in the normal way they will want to do financial checks etc and they will be able to do inspections (or appoint an agent to do them) but will have to give you fair warning of when they are. They might also decide to sell or serve notice at any point, again with notice. It's not easy. But you'd not have the relationship hassle. And you'd probably have a kitchen put in more recently. That said we rent and the kitchen and bathroom were brand new when we moved in but done cheaply and falling to bits already despite my best efforts. I have some horrific landlords in the past who refused to do anything to the point of breaking the law.

I also don’t understand this, if you’re basically paying market rent then just move to another rented property that’s in better condition.

I didn't notice if your OH has had a really serious formal talk with HIS parents. He should.
If they have not done work for years, do electrics comply with latest regs?

That might be costly for whoever upgrades the kitchen. Even more for landlords, do you have CO and fire/smoke alarms?
We know, we asked an electrician to fit a new socket in a kitchen there was a fair bit more work than we expected.

He should have been a responsible ADULT and fitted his own smoke and CO alarms when he owned it. Whilst legally I support your position of landlord responsibility, I think he’d be taking the piss if he wanted mummy to pay for smoke alarms if he hadn’t himself!

Do they still have a mortgage on it?

If they don't or can pay it off, you only need a credit history if you buy the house by getting a mortgage from a bank/building society.

You could, if both sides are amenable, value the house, agree on a sensible, fair price and organise a private arrangement where you pay them £x per month until it's paid off.

Solicitors must be consulted for this and proper contracts drawn up.