Mums is refusing to talk to me

[BabyGirl66]

not so DM is refusing to talk to me... because I did one splif of weed last night. Mum is extremely anti weed. She has said on many occasions that she would be extremely upset if it was legalised and would not visit Canada (once her dream country to visit) due to there legalisation laws.
She keeps saying that the government has it criminalised for a reason.

She is furious that I (20) have done it and is being highly unpleasant to be around.

AIBIU to think that mum is overreacting

[quote JudgeRindersMinder]@Dougalthesyrianhamster I know it’s not the done thing on MN to give a shit about your adult kids once they’re past 18, but it’s not dramatic to be upset that your child or takes in a habit which is well known to be harmful. I‘m not abnormal for giving a shit[/quote]
Absolutely. And I help them with things they are unsure of, or need a second eye on, such as taxes, job applications, university work (proofreading theses only, I hasten to add - I'm not doing their work). I even help them financially and don't charge rent when they are still in uni, even though they have jobs. I give advice, generally if asked, but unsolicited if I think it's necessary.

Amazingly, they are fully functioning adults who "adult" very well.

The Queen Victoria thing is a myth.

@PyongyangKipperbang I did think it might be an urban myth. However, it's very interesting that there was no reference to female homosexuality. But then, I don't think homosexuality would really have been talked about at all. And those who were that way inclined had every reason to keep it that way, as outward respectability was all important in those days.

My point is (as someone who is LGBTQ+) just because something is illegal doesn’t mean it is wrong.
I am also gay and think you need to find a (much) better example if the ‘it shouldn’t be illegal’ argument is the only one you want to take.

Also, it’s not about whether it should or shouldn’t be illegal, it’s about valuing your relationship with your mum.

She's massively overreacting FFS. Ignore the drama queen act. I presume you are an adult and its your choice what you do with your own body, as long as it is not in her house then really it is none of her business.

You are really immature, OP. Time to move out👏

This thread is fucking batshit crazy.
The amount of people who would kick their children out on the streets for smoking a spliff with some friends. And obviously she was outdoors doing it. She’s not allowed to be indoors!! How’s that immature
Fuck me!!!

It is immature for them to have walked into their mother's house 'a bit giggly' (which, as many have said, means they were probably very obviously stoned and reeking of it), subject their mother to that when the OP was fully aware of their mother's opinion, and then act like it's ridiculous that their mother is upset. It's also immature to try to use medical studies and male homosexuality having been illegal to justify their choice.

I do agree that their mother overreacted to say I hope you go to jail, but if one of my kids - knowing how I feel about recreational drugs (and yes, I do include alcohol in that) and how I don't want to see them like that - I'd be upset. I wouldn't kick them out, but I'd struggle to remain calm or to talk to them for a while. I have the basic respect not to be high or intoxicated in front of them, I'd like them to give same basic respect unless they feel they're in danger. Just walking in high doesn't count.

To paraphrase, if one only talks about rights and doesn't talk about responsibility, that's adolescence. We can argue whether someone should have the right to get high when they want, but I and others have argue they had a responsibility not to inflict that state upon someone who feels as the mother does and the mother being upset at having their 'adult' child walk into their home high (and who exactly will be the one to care for the OP if the high goes wrong? Likely the mother...). If you think you're old enough to take those drugs, you need to take some adult responsibility and the OP has shown none of it, just childish excuses.

@Flyingagainstreason

This thread is fucking batshit crazy. The amount of people who would kick their children out on the streets for smoking a spliff with some friends. And obviously she was outdoors doing it. She’s not allowed to be indoors!! How’s that immature Fuck me!!!

A 20 year old is not a child though.

And weed is drugs.

I’d be pretty upset with any of my chiffons they started taking drugs. I’d hoped I’d educated them a little better.
You are still very young and that is how you come across. You choose to remain under your mothers roof, so need to stick to her rules. She might not have managed it terribly well but she is coming from a position of loving you and not wanting you to put yourself at unnecessary risk. You are coming from a position of silly teenage experimentation and trying to be ‘cool’.
Don’t take illegal drugs and there won’t be a problem.

@Immigrantsong
Well yes. But back in the real world people don’t chuck their children out in a pandemic or scream in their faces for a misdemeanour.

And you can call someone my child till their in their 90s if you want to, if one is still alive as a parent.

This thread just shows how insane things are in internet land.

I had a mother like this when I was 20. Sad to say that she's still every bit as much a pearl-clutching misery nearly 30 years later.

As well as having zero experience of drugs but being happy to pontificate about them, she also does exactly the same with alcohol, homosexuality, men with long hair, men with ear rings, etc etc.

It's utterly wearing and tiresome being around someone who has ridiculously over the top reactions to things they know the square-root of bugger all about, which is a big part of the reason why I've barely spoken to her since I was a teen.

The 'refusing to set foot in Canada because of legal weed' thing is exactly the sort of nonsense my mother would come away with. This is a woman who swears any man with pierced ears is a closet homosexual. I'll have to ask her opinion on women with tattoos one day, that should be a laugh.

@Flyingagainstreason

This thread is fucking batshit crazy. The amount of people who would kick their children out on the streets for smoking a spliff with some friends. And obviously she was outdoors doing it. She’s not allowed to be indoors!! How’s that immature Fuck me!!!

Really her Mum should inform the police if she has no remorse to stop. Her daughter is a criminal.

Annabel: Really her Mum should inform the police if she has no remorse to stop. Her daughter is a criminal.
......
Is that so and what do you think the police would do about a 20 year old girl smoking a joint in her own home? They have more important issues to attend to.

Op, you are 20. How much longer do you expect to live under your mother's roof because while you live there, you have to respect your mum's rules.

This is a woman who swears any man with pierced ears is a closet homosexual.

I remember this attitude from my F, who was incredibly homophobic, whilst at the same time being guilty of sexually abusing my DSis and me. So I agree that the attitude is hypocritical in a lot of cases, and I don't defend that at all.

However, there are genuine reasons for being wary of cannabis. Especially the risk of developing MH issues, which can have life changing implications. (I have MH issues, in my case PTSD, so I do have personal experience of the long-term consequences.)

So not all of us pointing out the risks of using cannabis are simply being killjoys.

You are right. Just because something is illegal doesn't mean it's wrong.

Just because something isn't wrong doesn't mean it's not stupid or dangerous all the same

I would have the hump about this too. Can't bear the stuff - it stinks and kills your brain cells imo!!

Hahahaha haha
Tell the police
Fuck me, my sides are splitting
I imagine @annabel85 is straight on the phone if you’re seen with 7 people and not 6

Honestly the police would laugh in your face.

I think Annabel was joking.

Well that sounds like a massive waste of police time, don’t you think they have rapists, child abusers and violent criminals to catch?