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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mums is refusing to talk to me

196 replies

BabyGirl66 · 30/06/2020 11:36

not so DM is refusing to talk to me... because I did one splif of weed last night. Mum is extremely anti weed. She has said on many occasions that she would be extremely upset if it was legalised and would not visit Canada (once her dream country to visit) due to there legalisation laws.
She keeps saying that the government has it criminalised for a reason.

She is furious that I (20) have done it and is being highly unpleasant to be around.

AIBIU to think that mum is overreacting

OP posts:
Doraismissing · 30/06/2020 13:34

Your house = your rules
Her house = her rules

Immigrantsong · 30/06/2020 13:35

OP when you live in other people's houses you have to abide by their rules.

You knowingly broke the rule re weed, irrelevant if you smoked it outside as you surely knew the smell lingers.

Your mum is entitled to having an opinion on the matter and most mums wouldn't be happy if their offspring did drugs irrelevant of what type. Same with consumption of alcohol and cigarettes, because mums want the best for their kids and health is the basis of that.

You sound immature, rude and ignorant. Write an apology letter and get some help to find out what is missing in your life that can be rectified by drugs.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 30/06/2020 13:36

You're staying with/living with your mum and sneaking off to the woods to "do a spliff with your mates" and coming back stinking of the stuff and giggly?
Yeah, I'm on your mum's side.
You sound about 14, need to grow up a little bit.

BabyDancer · 30/06/2020 13:36

You should respect your mum's rules while living there. You know how she feels about it, is it really that hard to wait until you've moved out? At the very least you could have made the effort to get rid of the smell and sober up before you went into her home.You sound really selfish OP. I would apologise to your mum if I were you and try to mend down bridges.

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/06/2020 13:37

@GabsAlot

But its not about the drugs per se, its about the fact that the OP lives in her mothers house and should treat it and her with respect. I would be bloody fuming if one of mine came home stinking of weed because it does absolutely stink. I dont want my house smelling like that.

At the very least the OP should have made sure she didnt smell and the effects had worn off before going home. The OP doesnt have to agree with her mothers opinion on drugs but she must respect the rules while living under her roof.

Dixiechickonhols · 30/06/2020 13:37

Thought weed was out of fashion, the teens are doing those little silver canisters of gas in woods around here. Sick of seeing them on ground when I walk dog.

msflibble · 30/06/2020 13:39

wow people are a bit weird about an adult woman doing something to her own body outdoors eh

GabsAlot · 30/06/2020 13:40

yes that i agree with pyong-it is her mums house and she should do as asked

but the canada thing is stupid

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 30/06/2020 13:41

FFS we all done it at that age

Speak for yourself.
I certainly never have.

2007Millie · 30/06/2020 13:42

I'm with your mum.

annabel85 · 30/06/2020 13:42

@msflibble

wow people are a bit weird about an adult woman doing something to her own body outdoors eh
When its illegal
PyongyangKipperbang · 30/06/2020 13:43

wow people are a bit weird about an adult woman doing something to her own body outdoors eh

No they are annoyed that the OP doesnt seem to see that doing something she knows her mothers hates and then bringing the stench back into her home is disrespectful and rude.

She can stick fireworks up her arse for all I care.

LemonadeAndDaisyChains · 30/06/2020 13:43

wow people are a bit weird about an adult woman doing something to her own body outdoors eh

If OP had her own flat or whatever, yes could see your point, can do what the fuck you like - if you're staying at your parents though, sneaking off to the woods knowing they're anti drugs and coming back stinking and giggly - erm, yeah can see why would be pissed off.

Porcupineinwaiting · 30/06/2020 13:44

No, not long til October. Until then you need to not smoke dope. Or move out now. One or the other.

I wouldnt have cannabis smokers under my roof, even if it was legal (and even if they were my child). Be grateful she's not packed a bag for you.

Branleuse · 30/06/2020 13:45

You need to be more discreet clearly. Coming home smelling of it and noticeably stoned is obviously not going to be tolerated while youre living there.
I agree shes overreacting, but thems the rules

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/06/2020 13:46

but the canada thing is stupid

It does seem a bit OTT but then we each have our hill to die on. I refused to go on a holiday on in Dubai because of the human rights/womens rights abuses there. I wont support a country like that with my tourist money. I would rather miss out than do that but I know that several of my friends disagree and that going on holiday is different to living there....Hmm

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/06/2020 13:49

Oh and FYI.... " a bit giggly" to you will be seen a lot differently by her. You know how you dont really notice other people being drunk when you are drinking at the same pace as them? But you can see that they are absolutely slaughtered if you are not drinking? This is the same. You think you were a bit giggly as you were under the influence, with friends who were the same, to her you were probably completely stoned and not particularly easy to communicate with.

Rabblemum · 30/06/2020 13:51

Why did she need to know? Were you with her?

Your mum is overreacting but she’s entitled to her views, just show some respect and be more discreet.

Weed does have a massive downside, it’s illegal, it can make you paranoid and some people depend on it.

HansBanans · 30/06/2020 13:55

YABU. Users think that it is so harmless and that everyone around them should just put up with it. The smell lingers for ages and you've brought that stench back into your mum's house. Our upstairs neighbours smoke it constantly and as a result I can't have my windows open during the summer as otherwise my flat ends up stinking of it for days. That and the fact that all their druggy friends show up and cause endless trouble for the neighbours - damage to cars, belongings stolen, etc. 20 years old, you know better, time to grow up and think of other people! If you can't show your mum the respect that she deserves - as irrespective of where you smoked it you've brought the smell back to her house - in her own home then you need to move out.

PotholeParadise · 30/06/2020 13:55

@PyongyangKipperbang

Oh and FYI.... " a bit giggly" to you will be seen a lot differently by her. You know how you dont really notice other people being drunk when you are drinking at the same pace as them? But you can see that they are absolutely slaughtered if you are not drinking? This is the same. You think you were a bit giggly as you were under the influence, with friends who were the same, to her you were probably completely stoned and not particularly easy to communicate with.
Word. I used to have flatmates who took various substances.

What they thought they were like and what they were actually like were two very different things. And they paid their full share of the rent, all their own cooking and did their share of the cleaning rota!

If the people you live with can tell you've been taking something, consider the possibility that you're more than 'a bit giggly' and are now into pain in the neck territory.

LizzyAnna99 · 30/06/2020 13:55

OMG I would not put this on Mumsnet haha, I’m also 20 and if they all knew what I did when I went to Amsterdam last year I think I’d be hung drawn and quartered 😂

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 30/06/2020 13:55

No one is really an adult if they are living in their parents house and presumably being financially supported by them. I think your mum has gone a bit ott but if you live under her roof, then respect the house rules.

mumwon · 30/06/2020 14:02

you have asd
you are obviously immature & may be influenced by other people (cuckooing)
drugs the use & the need for them & whilst under the influence may make you even more vulnerable
& (believe me I have done a lot of research & continue to do so) people within the spectrum are more likely to have serious long term side effects including psychosis & schizophrenia -
don't believe what your told by your druggie "friends" or what you read on random facebook or websites
Your mum was worried about you because she knows all of the above
She probably said that thing about Canada in passing not as a serious comment

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/06/2020 14:02

@LizzyAnna99

Couldnt care less what you did in Amsterdam as long as you didnt affect anyone else but yourself. The OP did affect her mother by her behaviour and smell, in a home that the OP knows is strictly no drugs. Totally different situation.

BiBabbles · 30/06/2020 14:10

wow people are a bit weird about an adult woman doing something to her own body outdoors eh

There are plenty of things that people can do with their own bodies outside that aren't okay and would be a bit weird.

Also, the OP didn't keep it outside or on holiday as LizzyAnna99 did, or their mother wouldn't have seem them 'a bit giggly' (probably off their face). They made their mother see them like that. I hated seeing my parents high. I hated dealing with my siblings and their friends when they were high. I don't want to see my kids high unless it's needed for their continued well-being.

Maybe that's me being weird, but I'd like the mutual respect of not being under the influence around each other just like other things we shouldn't do around each other.