Mums is refusing to talk to me

[BabyGirl66]

not so DM is refusing to talk to me... because I did one splif of weed last night. Mum is extremely anti weed. She has said on many occasions that she would be extremely upset if it was legalised and would not visit Canada (once her dream country to visit) due to there legalisation laws.
She keeps saying that the government has it criminalised for a reason.

She is furious that I (20) have done it and is being highly unpleasant to be around.

AIBIU to think that mum is overreacting

‘Spliff of weed’

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Couldnt care less what you did in Amsterdam as long as you didnt affect anyone else but yourself. The OP did affect her mother by her behaviour and smell, in a home that the OP knows is strictly no drugs. Totally different situation

Exactly, beat me to it! Not comparable.

You are 20 and sound younger than that.

I imagine she is worried because:

-it's illegal
-or worried about psychological problems - lots of studies on paranoia
-mixing with drug dealers
-engaging in more constructive activities like work or study
-because you came home giggling and smelt of it - maybe she doesn't like the smell and knows that many people will recognise the smell on you/in her home
-it's rude and disrespectful to her since you are living in her home

YABU

I understand that I live in my parents house, but what I do as a legal adult away from any them is surely my choice.

People who have to describe themselves as a "legal adult" don't come across like adults to me. Being an adult is about more than age; it's about maturity, respect, and responsibility. Enjoy being young by all means but don't expect to be given adult freedoms when you're not acting like one.

I understand it’s is currently illegal (although many experts say we are on the home stretch) but homosexuality was once illegal and no one (who is a good person) had a problem with people doing that.

The argument that "it's illegal but some other things that used to be illegal are ok, so it must be ok" is another sign of immaturity. It's not an evidence based argument.

You need to apologise to your mum (and hope she never sees this, and you referring to her as "not so DM") and behave yourself.

@Deathraystare

The psychological effects, but to be fair I do understand them, I just think there any wrost then alcohol or normal Tobacco. There is also evidence that cannabis can help people with certain medical conditions, including ASD which I have.

There are also lots of people that end up on psychiatric wards due to smoking weed.

My friend's son for one.

I too have a friend whose young son thought he was being clever smoking this stuff because his friends did.

He ended up with really serious MH issues and wrecked his life and his future prospects. He also wrecked the lives of those around him, his parents and his sister were completely distraught. It's not an exaggeration to say this family was destroyed.

The only smart person in this situation is your mum. Treat her with more respect.

OP, you sound so proud of yourself for having a smoke like a naughty grown up, that you might as well post your real name, and then everyone who knows you will be well impressed.

I think that you will just have to put up with your Mothers silent treatment regarding the cannabis. If you live with your Mother, and she has a dogged belief about something illegal in life, she won't change her mind, so it's up to you how you are going to deal with this.

I am an oldie, but well remember often getting the silent treatment from my late Mum when I was young, not for drugs,but other things that she thought were immoral, as she was rigged in her views about
lots of youthful behaviour.

"a bit giggly".....I spent a happy evening making music with friends, and one asked if we minded him recording us so he could play along with the recording later for practice. Fine. Swigs if wine as we went long, and I remember thinking, "By God, we're playing well tonight!" All great.
The next day, I heard the recording - mortifying.
PP's have made the points about illegal production; your money is subsidising vicious exploitation of the producers, and I doubt their quality control is rigorous.
Even with the old-style weed that was around in my flighty youth, I can remember friends being permanently derailed; usually becoming too relaxed to achieve anything with their life, one with a serious weight problem after "post spliff munchies" permanently skewed her metabolism and the new strains are something else.
As a matter of interest, what subject will you be reading at university?

OP I think your mother may just be concerned about you.

And also were you sharing a spliff with people outside your bubble? or accepting a rollie made by them? that would have concerned me too during Covid 19 since mouth, fingers and saliva would all be involved.

And please please please research the problems with ASD and weed. It's not good in my experience. Apart from the slavery mentioned above involved in the drug trade - a good deal of the research about decriminilisation was based on the much milder forms of weed prevalent in the mid 20C and not the psychosis inducing narcotic it's become. Clearly alcohol and ASD isn't good either but at least you know what you're getting.

Think yourself lucky. I would have been kicked out for doing that. At your age you should know better. Sheesh

It's probably time to move out op. I don't have a big issue with the odd spliff personally, although it's been years since I've done it myself. Your mum is probably worried, and you are living under her roof. Time to move on and take full responsibility for yourself.

OP, did you know?

Cannabis resin sold on the streets of Madrid is contaminated with dangerous levels of faecal matter, a study says.

And this is in a country where it is legal to grow it for personal use.

Traces of E.coli bacteria and the Aspergillus fungus were found by analysts who examined 90 samples bought in and around the Spanish capital.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-47811251

Its an illegal substance, which means that more than likely the people who provided it originally are involved in people trafficking, slavery etc. Not such a giggle now, eh?

You both sound like you have no emotional regulation. You are being pretty immature with your behaviour, but your mother is being ridiculous. The fact she is your mother doesn't give her free rein to be a weird twat and take no responsibility for her reactions.

I would get out if I were you. You have youth on your side and the opportunity to get away from this toxic environment and learn how to be better.

You probably stunk.
While you are living at your mums you should respect her hospitality.
Do whatever you like at uni but be aware that weed will mess with your mind which I am sure you already know.

OP if you're going to go to uni, I hope your research and critical thinking skills improve before then.

On a purely factual note...

Female homosexuality has never been illegal in the UK. Male homosexuality first became illegal in 1533 with the passing of the Buggery Act, and was punishable by death. In 1861 it was replaced by the Offences Against the Person Act, and the sentence was reduced to 10 years in prison. Both acts specifically referred to male homosexuality.

Until 1973 both forms of homosexuality were classified as mental disorders. However most cases were again of males. Whilst it was thought unnatural for two men to live together, it was considered a perfectly normal thing for women to do. Admittedly the women tended to assume the guise of two sisters or as two spinsters living together for companionship. And because it wasn't illegal, society was far less concerned with it anyway. The MH issues in male homosexuality arose from its social and legal status, as the men felt that they were unnatural, bestial and many tried desperately to find a 'cure' (and pretty brutal those 'cures' were too). And when the cure didn't work they felt that they were beyond redemption and many committed suicide.

So possibly your mum ignored your rhetoric about sexuality because she knew that were factually wrong.

I read somewhere that female homosexuality was never legislated against because Queen Victoria refused to accept that it was even possible so refused to sign the bill. I don't know whether it was true or an urban myth.

There is also evidence that cannabis can help people with certain medical conditions, including ASD which I have

Just because something can be a medicine under certain circumstances does not mean it is good for everyone else all the time. If I remember rightly deadly nightshade has its medical uses too.

I happily smoked weed when I was young, but what is going around nowadays has a completely different affect on its users.

But mainly, if you don't like your mum's rules, you are old enough to live separately.

@JudgeRindersMinder My dd is a couple of years older than you and smokes tobacco. This really really upsets me

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Don't be so dramatic!!

I read somewhere that female homosexuality was never legislated against because Queen Victoria refused to accept that it was even possible so refused to sign the bill. I don't know whether it was true or an urban myth.

I've heard a similar story, but in my version female homosexuality was originally in the bill. Then it was removed at the last minute when Victoria's ministers realised that when they presented it to her they would have to explain to her that women did that too - a prospect they simply couldn't face, so out of the bill it came!!!

[quote PyongyangKipperbang]@LizzyAnna99

Couldnt care less what you did in Amsterdam as long as you didnt affect anyone else but yourself. The OP did affect her mother by her behaviour and smell, in a home that the OP knows is strictly no drugs. Totally different situation.[/quote]
And it's legal in Amsterdam. Her mum is absolutely right.

She's flagrantly breaking the law and funding organised crime. Her poor mum must be mortified.

@Dougalthesyrianhamster I know it’s not the done thing on MN to give a shit about your adult kids once they’re past 18, but it’s not dramatic to be upset that your child or takes in a habit which is well known to be harmful. I‘m not abnormal for giving a shit

[quote Dougalthesyrianhamster]**@JudgeRindersMinder* My dd is a couple of years older than you and smokes tobacco. This really really upsets me*

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Don't be so dramatic!! [/quote]
I don't think it's dramatic at all for a parent to worry about a habit that has negative health connotations.

I am in fact very surprised by anyone that would be nonchalant about things like that.

[quote JudgeRindersMinder]@Dougalthesyrianhamster I know it’s not the done thing on MN to give a shit about your adult kids once they’re past 18, but it’s not dramatic to be upset that your child or takes in a habit which is well known to be harmful. I‘m not abnormal for giving a shit[/quote]
I completely agree with you.

All mums are unreasonable I'm afraid. However, when you grow up and start a family, you may change your mind. When you have spent hours in agony in labour trying to squeeze something the size of a melon through something the size of a lemon; spent hours upon hours of sleepless nights wandering around holding a screaming wrinkled up little baby; when you have spent every waking hour looking after your child and ensuring that you do everything to keep them safe; when you make huge personal sacrifices and spend years upon years to ensure that your child is healthy and happy and you've given them the best chance of a happy future that you can.... When you have done all of that, you will understand why your mother is anti-drugs!