Mums is refusing to talk to me

[BabyGirl66]

not so DM is refusing to talk to me... because I did one splif of weed last night. Mum is extremely anti weed. She has said on many occasions that she would be extremely upset if it was legalised and would not visit Canada (once her dream country to visit) due to there legalisation laws.
She keeps saying that the government has it criminalised for a reason.

She is furious that I (20) have done it and is being highly unpleasant to be around.

AIBIU to think that mum is overreacting

Whilst it does have certain medical benefits to some it comes with its own bag of negative side effects. You really do t know the strengths of the weed you are smoking if it’s just being passed around by friends or buying it on the streets. I’d be worried if any of my kids were smoking this tbh

In the case of criminalising gay sex, it was the actual criminalisation that caused societal problems - not the sex itself. Once it was legalised, people stopped losing their liberty and their livelihoods or breaking up marriages they felt forced to be in as cover just because they wanted to love who they loved.

Weed is different - it's not the fact that it's illegal that makes it cause problems. Even the places it is currently legal, it still causes long-term mental health problems, saps motivation, is equivalent to drinking in terms of reducing attention while driving and turns people into crashing bores who smell disgusting.

You may find this an interesting read - it looks at states in the USA which have legalised pot and what the effects have been: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6690273/#__sec6title

If you know your DM is so anti weed (which she is perfectly entitled to be as much as you are entitled to be ok with it), it wasn’t wise to go home reeking or the stuff as it was bound to get a reaction. If you wanted to provoke her then that would be immature, if you simply didn’t care that she would be upset, that is also immature. Once you are away at uni and your DM doesn’t have to deal with the stink and the giggly behaviour then go for it. While you are at home I think you need to show some restraint.

www.curejoy.com/content/side-effects-of-smoking-weed/#:~:text=The%20Long-Term%20Effects%20Of%20Weed%20Use%201%20Mental,or%20red%20when%20you%20get%20high%20on%20weed%3F

Please have a look at this, OP. It might help you understand why your mum is so against it.

You do sound quite immature. It's disrespectful to smoke weed and go back to your DM's house giggly and still under the influence. You knew what she thinks about illegal drugs.

Have you taken in what's been said on this thread about the possible risks to mental health of smoking weed? You're presumably intelligent enough to understand what people are saying as you'll be going to uni soon?

Are you happy to consume a product from a supply chain where workers are mistreated? One which is linked with organised crime?

It stinks, and you know she doesn't like it. It's disrespectful. If you want to smoke weed, don't live in her house. It isn't away from her house when you come back smelling of it.

That's not to mention all the side effects PP has said.

I'm with your Mum, and I'd be thinking October is a long way away right now, if you're coming at her with the arguments you display here.

My observation is that people with ASD who self-medicate their anxiety and so lnwith weed do worse long-term than people without ASD using weed. And that is what's you're describing when you say it's good for you.

I absolutely do not agree it's good for people with ASD. They feel temporarily better while taking it, but so does everyone. If weed made everyone feel like a dog's arsehole when they smoked it, no-one would buy it again.

Pinkyyy OP is referencing her belief that lesbianism was illegal in the UK until 30 years ago (Not true) and that lesbianism is not wrong (True).

If you'd come home drunk, would you say that you were keeping your drinking away from your mum, because you didn't injest it under her roof?

And do you think it would be OK to drive at 140mph past a school, because homosexuality is now legal?

"The psychological effects, but to be fair I do understand them, I just think there any wrost then alcohol or normal Tobacco. There is also evidence that cannabis can help people with certain medical conditions, including ASD which I have."
You understand the psychological effects? I don't think you do. Tobacco doesn't cause psychosis (although binge-drinking alcohol can). Many people who use cannabis go on to have MH issues encompassing psychotic episodes.The type of cannabis used to help medical conditions is different to weed.

Your DM is just trying to protect you and, if you want to be lead the life of an adult without her caring input then I suggest you move out and find your own place. Apart from the MH effects of cannabis use, your DM does not need to have such a disgusting smell in her house. Even if you weren't giggling you will have absolutely reeked. I wouldn't want that smell in or near my house.

I understand that I live in my parents house, but what I do as a legal adult away from any them is surely my choice.

Not when it affects them it isn’t.

Probably best off not doing it while you still live in her house, but I honestly don't see the big deal. Unless she's anti alcohol then she doesn't have a point imo

You have disappointed your mother, you have gravely worried her and upset her.

I am sure she has fought her way through life to get you all the services you need to cope with ASD, her dream is probably for you to live independently and get a good education and a happy, healthy life for yourself. You have behaved like an immature toddler having a tantrum, you refuse to see her perspective.

It's time to ditch those "friends" and ditch the weed before you get a habit you can't kick and maybe a psychosis too. If you really are 20, please start behaving like a responsible young adult.

Pot has a disproportionately heavy effect on developing brains, and at 20 yours still falls under that category. Pot use is associated with a 4-times higher risk of schizophrenia if you do it at the age of 15, and 'only' a doubled risk if you do it aged 18. Seriously, it's a psychoactive mess. Avoid!

There is also evidence that cannabis can help people with certain medical conditions, including ASD which I have.

There really isn't. Quite the opposite in fact. People with ASD are more vulnerable to mind altering substances because we are already prone to obsessions, compulsions, anxiety and poor impulse control (as you've demonstrated here by your complete lack of respect for your mother's boundaries while living under her roof.)

@BabyGirl66 did you roll your own spliff or did they do it for you? As you said you don’t own drugs, I’d imagine it’s the latter.

Perhaps your mum is worried that you are breaking lockdown etc having close contact with others and are potentially going to bring a deadly virus back into her home.

I am concerned about your statement that you did it because others were doing it. Once you leave home, you may find that you are easily led or pressured into doing things much much worse than weed. How will you cope say if someone offers you a line of coke? You need to think of strategies to allow you to be independent of what others are doing, especially as you have highlighted that you have ASD. This is the bigger problem I think.

I used to grow weed and sell it commercially and I still think you are being unreasonable. You are older than 18, if you don't want to keep to her rules you do the mature thing and move out. Sneaking around her back breaking rules is something a 12 year old does. Stop acting like a child and make a choice: mums rules or move out and pay ypur osn way.

You're acting very immature but then so is she.

WTAF has gay sex got to do with anything? This not about LGBTQ+ rights!!

If your mum doesn't like weed then she doesn't end of. Its legal for you to have a small amount for personal use but its almost like you are a giggly schoolgirl delighting in shocking your elders.

Buying weed may bring you into contact with some pretty nasty individuals, I work with street homeless young people your age who started with a bit of weed then were encouraged to try something else and so on, and yes it can cause appalling paranoia. I've worked with street hard drug workers who often have first hand experience of the damage shit can do, I tend to respect their opinions - in fact, as an adult, that's something you will have to get used to doing - you know, respecting other people ...

My daughter is already at uni, she's 19. I say to her its your decision but please bear in mind the risks and based on that and her own consideration of what's involved, she's decided not to try any drugs at all. Maybe she will, but she won't then dance around me going oooo look at me aren't I grown up

That means to say: or pay your own way.

Know your audience.

All the other first years (who think going to uni means they’ve “moved out”) will think you’re really clever for your, “yeah, well, homosexuality was illegal” stance. They’ll lap it up. Enjoy,

For anyone second year and above, it’s all a bit “little kid posturing”. Your mum doesn’t a drug user in her house - that’s fine. I’m with her.

Screaming you’ll go to prison, and avoiding Canada are somewhat OTT. But not relevant here - nor is your sexuality.

You sound very immature as well as disrespectful.

Would you go and drink alcohol 5 minutes away from the house and then go back home drunk?

Your mother is over reacting but it's her house so you must abide by her rules while you are living there.