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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The new parents next door

266 replies

Littleblackdress04 · 29/06/2020 21:01

I might have forgotten (or blocked out) what it’s like having a new baby but the poor thing screams day and night- and it’s waking me up most nights as I can hear it through the walls (new build houses)
Anyway, at the weekend baby was screaming so we put on glastonbury on TV partly to drown out the noise- not super loud or anything at about 6pm Saturday afternoon.

They were straight round after 10 mins asking us to turn it down as it was upsetting the (constantly screaming) baby. We did turn it down a bit but it honestly wasn’t at rave levels or anything! Bit of Foo Fighters so maybe a bit of bass.

Aibu to feel a bit pissed off? It was 6pm on a Saturday & honestly I don’t want to have to listen to the baby ALL the time. We have to live our life too in our house!

I don’t want to cause a neighbourly dispute and I am sympathetic to their lack of sleep but surely baby also has to get used to a bit of real life. And sure enough, I was woken up again at 3,4,5am with constant crying.

Aarrggh!

OP posts:
SomewhereInbetween1 · 30/06/2020 15:33

What do you expect them to do? Babies cry.

Rosebel · 30/06/2020 15:39

It's a choice to have a baby (usually). It's not a choice to have a baby that cries,a lot or has colic.

Soubriquet · 30/06/2020 15:40

@SomewhereInbetween1

What do you expect them to do? Babies cry.
Sure they do

But why does the OP have to have her life turned upside down by someone else having a baby?

She should be able to do what she wants (within reason) in her own home

StealthMama · 30/06/2020 18:00

@Littleblackdress04 sorry you're right, your response has demonstrated what a lovely neighbour you likely are!

I bet turning the TV up isn't the only shit you pull is it. Your poor neighbours, struggling with a newborn, and have to put up with YOU next door.

StealthMama · 30/06/2020 18:03

But why does the OP have to have her life turned upside down by someone else having a baby?

She doesn't, she can just tell them and their baby to fuck off - she's been practising on here after all Hmm

CreditCrackers · 30/06/2020 18:05

Honestly, they can't turn off their baby - you can turn off your TV. My son was amazing and never cried but I know we're extremely lucky - some babies scream relentlessly (too hot, too cold, hungry, sad, lonely, too much attention, tired, over tired, too excited, scared, gas, teething, indigestion, reflux...).
If you turned up your TV to drown out the baby then obviously it was going to be too loud. I really, honestly and truly feel for you because it's such a horrible sound but these parents are obviously doing everything they can to stop the crying - they're listening to it too! Just wear headphones and hopefully it'll pass.

CreditCrackers · 30/06/2020 18:09

@Soubriquet Imagine being such a selfish, entitled and sadistic arsehat. I really hope you have a baby that screams all day and all night no matter what you do and that your neighbours intentionally make it worse and are snarky pricks about it too. Have fun with that karma you're throwing about.

Original poster
Littleblackdress04 · 30/06/2020 18:13

@StealthMama no, you literally know nothing about me but have taken it upon yourself to decide that we are unneighbourly because we watched some TV at 6pm on a Saturday & turned it up a bit to drown out the sound of 8 weeks of a baby crying that disrupted our life. Some of the judgement on here is literally unbelievable to be honest including your post

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 30/06/2020 18:16

[quote CreditCrackers]@Soubriquet Imagine being such a selfish, entitled and sadistic arsehat. I really hope you have a baby that screams all day and all night no matter what you do and that your neighbours intentionally make it worse and are snarky pricks about it too. Have fun with that karma you're throwing about.[/quote]
Been there and done that already.

One had nighttime colic, one had CMPA so up yours too

Original poster
Littleblackdress04 · 30/06/2020 18:17

@CreditCrackers nor are we ‘snarky pricks’ who intentionally made anything worse - honestly some of the comments on this are literally incredible . The level of judgement is mind boggling to be honest

OP posts:
Original poster
Littleblackdress04 · 30/06/2020 18:19

Thanks to those of you that stood up for me on this thread 💕 it’s made me realise that there are also some absolute judgemental wankers on mumsnet!

OP posts:
Bluebellbike · 30/06/2020 18:21

I put music on loud enough to drown out the noise of next door's barking dogs. You are not being unreasonable

morethanafortnight · 30/06/2020 18:26

Playing a music programme on the tv on a Saturday teatime is not unreasonable at all.

Playing it at such a volume that it can be clearly heard through house walls is a bit unreasonable.

Complaining about said noise at that time of day (when you know full well that your baby has been getting on your neighbour's nerves for weeks) is a bit unreasonable too.

mrscampbellblackagain · 30/06/2020 18:27

This thread is insane. Poor OP has put up with screaming baby and yes I know no fun for the parents either but hasn't said a word. In fact she took them a gift.

And she has the temerity to watch some tv on a Saturday at 6pm and lordy, the pile on!

OP you did nothing wrong. Your neighbours are lucky they live next to you because a lot of people would have not been so calm for the whole 8 weeks or when your neighbour came round.

I think next time you see him I would ask how things are as you can hear the baby crying a lot. But I love a bit of passive aggressive retaliation Wink

AnnaBanana333 · 30/06/2020 18:27

Wtf is going on in this thread? You must have posted at the same time as a New Parent With Screaming Baby convention, because most of these replies are batshit. Telling you it's all about give and take and to cut them some slack when they couldn't give you 10 minutes of music?

The only unreasonable thing you did was turn the TV down when the entitled arseholes came round.

mrscampbellblackagain · 30/06/2020 18:30

Indeed @annabana333

crazychemist · 30/06/2020 18:45

They are probably ready to crack from exhaustion and desperation! I don't think their request was reasonable, but perhaps they are currently beyond reason.......

It's not unreasonable to watch your TV, OP. And it's your choice if you're happy to turn it down or not (assuming it wasn't unreasonably loud, which from your description it wasn't). Noise from neighbours (in both directions) is just part of life sometimes!

Hopefully, the baby will cry less soon. This will solve a lot of your problem, and your neighbours will be less stressed too!

listsandbudgets · 30/06/2020 18:57

I feel for you OP. You need to be able to live your life and play music at a reasonable level in your own home and providing it was not too loud it was unreasonable for the parents to ask you to turn it down.

I also feel for them. I sometimes think we all get past the baby stage with our DCs.and forget how absolutely mindblowingly exhausting new born babies can be. Lack of sleep can make people a bit irrational and sensitive to things they'd normally just brush off.

Cut them some slack, remind yourself they are most likely exhausted and most of all remember that when you hear the baby crying at night.. its not YOU who has to get up, you can just roll over and go back to sleep

Longwhiskers14 · 30/06/2020 19:04

Jeez, you are getting a hard time here, OP, and it's really unfair. I don't blame you for putting the music on for some respite – and it was 6pm FFS, not 6am! Constant baby screaming would drive me crackers at the best of times but even more so in lockdown when there is no escape. Yes, it's hard for the parents, but them flying round to hammer on your door the second you turned up the music makes me lose sympathy for them when you've been disrupted constantly for eight weeks.

Bluetrews25 · 30/06/2020 19:09

Littleblackdress04 you have my sympathy (as do your worn-down neighbours)
You HAVE been a good neighbour - you took them a gift, you said nothing for 8 weeks, you didn't tell them to get stuffed when they came knocking, and you turned the TV down when asked. What is that if not neighbourly?
This is made worse for you due to the covid situation, obviously, as you are at home all the time.
As are they next door.
You have been given a really hard time on here!
If you want to keep good relations, it might be best to try to forget the knock on the door. Put it down to PFB and covid and a screamer.
You would be an amazing neighbour if you took them some home baked muffins / cookies / banana bread or something after a bad night. To smooth things over and hit the reset button on the relationship. Up to you.
Hope little one learns to sleep soon.

Looneytune253 · 30/06/2020 19:18

I can't believe some folk on here actually think OP is being unreasonable. Seriously. That is ridiculous!!!

Monkeymilkshake · 30/06/2020 19:39

Wow you're getting a hard time here!
I have noisy kids and apologise to next door if kids have had a particularly loud day.
Next door listens to music, has parties, normal noisy stuff that does annoy us sometimes but I would never dream of complaining. They are just living their normal life and I'm sure they sometimes get annoyed by the noise coming from our house too.
I think you should watch tv, play... whaterever you want during normal hours. It's just part of life.

Wobblywibblywoo · 30/06/2020 19:46

I don’t think the OP is being unreasonable at all, I think that the neighbour had a cheek complaining about a little music during the day, especially when they know that they have a screaming baby most of the day and night.

puzzledpiece · 30/06/2020 19:47

Its a tiny, newborn baby who probably has colic, or reflux or something. the parents are probably at their wits end trying to soothe it. They are more exhausted than you.

Just be patient and it will calm down.

SecretSpAD · 30/06/2020 19:54

I can't believe some of the replies on here. Of course the OP and her family are allowed to play music, watch TV or do anything they want within reason in their own home.

The world does not revolve around new parents. New parents also do not have the monopoly on tiredness or stress.

Fucks sake, OP just carry on as you are doing. Your children need some fun too.

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