The new parents next door

[Littleblackdress04]

I might have forgotten (or blocked out) what it’s like having a new baby but the poor thing screams day and night- and it’s waking me up most nights as I can hear it through the walls (new build houses)
Anyway, at the weekend baby was screaming so we put on glastonbury on TV partly to drown out the noise- not super loud or anything at about 6pm Saturday afternoon.

They were straight round after 10 mins asking us to turn it down as it was upsetting the (constantly screaming) baby. We did turn it down a bit but it honestly wasn’t at rave levels or anything! Bit of Foo Fighters so maybe a bit of bass.

Aibu to feel a bit pissed off? It was 6pm on a Saturday & honestly I don’t want to have to listen to the baby ALL the time. We have to live our life too in our house!

I don’t want to cause a neighbourly dispute and I am sympathetic to their lack of sleep but surely baby also has to get used to a bit of real life. And sure enough, I was woken up again at 3,4,5am with constant crying.

Aarrggh!

[Griselda1]

They need to know the level of disruption their baby is causing you, nothing can be done by them about it but you're being inconvenienced and they can't be petty.

[therealkittyfane]

Back in the real world, I’m really not going to offer to babysit or take muffins round for them.

Who made that stupid suggestion?! 😂

I agree! You have quietly tolerated the noise coming from their house for months and they jump in the first thing that irritates them?
I wouldn’t be baking them anything.

You did miss an opportunity though OP.
‘Ah, sorry, I should have realised (that you could hear our tv), the walls are paper thin aren’t they. It can get very noisy for all of us at times can’t it?... ‘

[RibenaMonsoon]

You've really had a battering on here OP. I think its undeserved.

I have a nearly 1 year old and even though she doesn't wake much at night anymore, she was one hell of a screamer in her early weeks. Luckily my neighbours were lovely about it. No one brought me round anything like you did. (Not that I was expecting anything). You sound very thoughtful. Its understandable with the constant crying and all the stress of lockdown it has gotten to you more so. You are all human, you and your neighbours.

Sadly theres no such thing as a mute button for a baby, as you know. But at least it won't be forever. It's a crappy situation for everyone concerned.

I wouldn't live my life any different though, put the TV on to a level you would usually. If they complain then it gives you an opportunity to have a chat with them about it. Maybe see if theres anything you can suggest that would help them.

[CharityDingle]

@therealkittyfane

Back in the real world, I’m really not going to offer to babysit or take muffins round for them.

Who made that stupid suggestion?! 😂

I agree! You have quietly tolerated the noise coming from their house for months and they jump in the first thing that irritates them?
I wouldn’t be baking them anything.

You did miss an opportunity though OP.
‘Ah, sorry, I should have realised (that you could hear our tv), the walls are paper thin aren’t they. It can get very noisy for all of us at times can’t it?... ‘

Exactly. As I posted earlier, that was my experience with a neighbour who apparently believed noise only carried one way...

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

Yes screaming babies ARE annoying...and often diffocult to calm...

But there is a complete difference to hearing a 5 minute cry at 3pm rather than having them continually screaming through the night.

The parents CAN do something.... They can take it downstairs, take it out, cuddle it, feed it /change it..

MOVE WHERE the COT is... Pal had screaming baby... She was very aware of paper thin walls... The best place she found to muffle baby screams was the hallway... No where near as aversive for the neighbours...

Many parents are completely desensitised.... Yes babies cry... But it is completely wrong just to be passive and expect your neighbours to tolerate continual /aversive noise...

Plus... Not being an
arse to neighbours who are making normal noise at teatime ESPECIALLY after they have tolerated 8 WEEKS of screaming...

The world really DOES NOT revolve around your pfb

[IamtheDevilsAvocado]

PS to anyone who is saying be tolerant/won't last for ever etc etc...

Think when you have a really difficult day tomorrow... A long commute, difficult meetings, important exams.... Urgent work that needs to be completed....

How would you feel if you were continually woken by NEXT DOOR'S SCREAMING BABY??

Just think how shit you'd feel during the day... And how it would impact your performance /well being.... How you'd be half asleep even with caffeine...

Now imagine it is happening most nights??

[Liverpool52]

@Iamthedevils you nailed it. Yes the parents will be tired. So will the people being kept up by the noise. Feeling sorry for the parents doesn't make it any easier to drive the hour into work do a full day's work and drive home again when you've been kept awake by the noise that started at 11pm and didn't stop.

Experienced it with our next door neighbour. Baby was in the room on the other side of the wall to our bedroom. Yes I felt sorry for them but it didn't help me with sleep deprivation.

[SpillTheTeaa]

I can see your point of view for me personally I'd be quite tolerant of it. Maybe because I have a young DS myself though. Ask me again when he's I

[fargo123]

YANBU
Continue with your daily activities as normal, and if an opportunity presents itself to tell them about them how their screaming baby is affecting you, then definitely take it!

[naomi81]

Ahh I had a colic baby for 6 months, so so hard, I even invested in earplugs it was that bad! Luckily we are in a detached house so hopefully didn't upset anyone else. Defo get earplugs and pray the colic passes quickly.... think I would be staying at my friends wherever possible with this Covid, don't worry it will pass though Xx

[Sweettea1]

Maybe there stressed stressed because they can't settle there newborn stressted because there pacing the floor every night trying to get her to sleep so they have no sleep themselves an music just tipped them over the edge. Why not go round and see if they need any help/advice if there new parents and like others have said foam ear plugs for bed least u won't be woken

[OneStepAheadOfTheToddler]

YANBU. You have the right to listen to your TV so long as it's not excessively loud and I would never have dreamed of asking our neighbours to turn it down when DS was born.

Having said that, I can't relate to this at all...DS was a terrible sleeper but he slept best as a small baby when there was an absolute racket going on in the background ! When I wasn't actually hanging out with him in noisy pubs when he was a small baby, I was playing background pub noise on YouTube (yes, this is a thing!) on a loop for hours.

[eatsleepread]

YANBU. And they are creating SUCH a rod for their own back!

[KorkMum]

Have it on at rave level this weekend OP 😂 people commenting are mental.

[KorkMum]

I turn my tv up when my neighbours are loud I dont want to hear them.

[BrummyMum1]

We have blasting TVs from both next door neighbours to drown out the sound of our screaming baby. Never thought to actually say something to them as clearly my child is the reason for the tv volume! Maybe they don’t appreciate how much sound travels in their house yet if they’re new neighbours. Our walls are paper thin.