Putting his hands around my neck... 3 strikes and you’re out?

[Smellbellina]

He has done it twice so far, only left red marks. I have told people, they have asked I call police and given me details of a solicitor. I have a 3 strikes option in my head, this was strike 2, I have told more people this time (including his family) mine don’t like my position but accept it and have offered to pay for a solicitor.
3 strikes, AIBU?
I haven’t name changed for this as I don’t see why I should, it’s not my dirty secret to keep.

Each time you allow him put his hands around your throat you are giving him permission to kill you.

Each time you allow him to put his hands around your throat you are encouraging him to kill you.

Each time you allow him to put his hands around your throat he will do it harder and enjoy it more.

It is something he should never do.

This is really terrifying. Living with a man and weighing up in your head whether he'll murder you one day.

Was it during an argument or during sex ?

OP please ring the Police. Women's Aid will be able to help you too. As I said before LEAVE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.

I agree with whoever said you're just looking for excuses not to leave.

Sorry I pressed the wrong voting button! Get out!!!!!

What if strike 3 he doesn't let go.
Please call women's aid or the national domestic helpline. (also as a survivor of DV, I can tell you, they don't change)

YABU and very risky. He should have been gone the first time he did if. What is happening to the women of this world who accept this assaulting ?

Smellbellina, if we never see your username again, will it be because you name changed, or because you just didn't return...or because we saw you name in the newspapers? "Woman dead, boyfriend claims sex game gone wrong".

Don't let that shit be you.

@Chickaletta16

Was it during an argument or during sex ?

Irrelevant

Oh OP. The first time my exh did this to me was also the last time.
It wasn’t the first time he had hurt me but it was the first time he held me up against a wall and put his hands around my neck.
I had no family support. I reported him to the police and they said it was my word against his. He knew he had got away with it so I knew he would do it again.
I left him. It was hard. For a long time. But I did it. I’ve never once regretted it.
Please don’t regret staying.
You have family support. You have a chance. Take it.

That's some pretty fucked up logic you've got there.

@Smellbellina

I sound like a twat but I don’t think he will kill me next time. But I do think there will be a next time, so I’m not sure what I am waiting for

Come on. No one is this confused. Get the fuck out.

Plead leave him, now.

You wouldn't let a stranger do this 3 times, why let someone who is supposed to love and adore you do it?

I sound like a twat but I don’t think he will kill me next time.

You probably didn't think he would strangle you either. It's hard to leave, but you must.

You cannot trust this man. You are an real danger.

No more chances. Please get rid.

Hey op. Why are you thinking he won't go that far? What's keeping you with him? What's stopping you leaving?

Look after yourself x

You know its pointless because he is going to do it again so why are you waiting?

Please please please get out now, go somewhere safe & call the police; they will help you get your things.

Prior strangulation is a massive massive predictor of future death at his hands.
“Prior non-fatal strangulation was associated with greater than six-fold odds (OR 6.70, 95% CI 3.91–11.49) of becoming an attempted homicide, and over seven-fold odds (OR 7.48, 95% CI 4.53–12.35) of becoming a completed homicide.”
From www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2573025/

www.thehotline.org/2016/03/15/the-dangers-of-strangulation/
It says here that if someone attempts to strangle you then the risk of being killed by them is 10 times greater.
You can die or suffer brain damage fairly quickly

1 strike. In fact probably not even one strike - I'm guessing any scumbag who would put his hands round your throat for the first time will have already treated you in ways which were reason enough to leave him. The only amount of abuse acceptable in a relationship is none. Also - do you really think that all the women killed by their partners thought those men were going to kill them?

For christs fecking sakes get out NOW while your still alive and in a position to do so, this is a potential murder waiting to happen!

its not right now way at all ever!

Waiting for the third strike?.

you must be a fan of Russian Roulette!!

Get fecking out whilst your still alive!!

I know you are all right, I have worked and advised other women in this area, I am so ashamed to say I have not taken my own advice. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have left him before, way beyond the 3 strikes that time, and now here we are. It’s 2 strikes counting from when we got back together, so part of me thinks ‘see, he hasn’t killed you after all these times. Last time you had bruises, this time you don’t. Last time you just told your family, this time you have told his too.’ I am reasoning myself to stay. He did it infront of DD10! My parents must be beside themselves but are being amazing. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??!

Of course YABU, why on Earth are you giving 3 strikes to someone you should have a no molestation order against since he first hurt you?