Putting his hands around my neck... 3 strikes and you’re out?

[Smellbellina]

He has done it twice so far, only left red marks. I have told people, they have asked I call police and given me details of a solicitor. I have a 3 strikes option in my head, this was strike 2, I have told more people this time (including his family) mine don’t like my position but accept it and have offered to pay for a solicitor.
3 strikes, AIBU?
I haven’t name changed for this as I don’t see why I should, it’s not my dirty secret to keep.

Oh, and strangulation can cause permanent internal injuries even if it doesn't leave any visible external marks. So there's that too.

Absolutely this. I have a condition called Horners which causes a droopy eyelid, odd sized pupils, dry eye and discomfort. It can be caused by trauma to the neck, sometimes from an operation and also from strangulation.

I’m convinced mine was set off when I was strangled by an ex boyfriend. He left bruises on my neck and also bit my face. Do you think I should have let him do that again twice more?

No I’m not sure what you’re waiting for either. One strike is enough. No normal boyfriends/husband/partner ever does this. Nobody should stay with someone like that.

Hi OP I think you're giving him three strikes in the hope that he will change, but you don't want to feel that you don't have control over the situation which is why you've decided on this arbitrary number of three chances.

But he did it once and didn't regret it enough to do it again. He's not even ashamed of it, assuming that he knows you've told people.

I'm not a betting person, but I'd happily bet £1000 that he will do it again. Why let him?

Do you really want to be living in fear of when someone who's meant to love you might try and strangle you?

People are right, you might not believe he is capable of killing you but he could permanently damage your voicebox, your throat, the tendons in your neck. Why risk possible permanent pain or death for a man who doesn't love you?

Only thing that will make a difference on the 3 strike ? He will go too far. And it will be too late for you. Walk away. Now. Please x

One strike and thats it. No more chances.

What will be different in your life next time he does it that means you will take action to end the relationship? Are you in the process of renting a new place? Negotiating with a landlord? Following solicitor guidance? Moving belongings? Moving money? Something else?

"It’s possible to experience strangulation and show no symptoms at first but die weeks later because of brain damage due to lack of oxygen and other internal injuries"

Look at that bit in the article. Get somewhere safe.

I really hope this isn't true.

A man hurts you physically once and that should be it - game over, end of relationship, he never gets to touch you again.

Value yourself.

This x 100

3 strikes and you're out should NEVER be for violent behaviour. Once is enough. Leave. This is not normal in a relationship.

That's totally horrific. You need to call the police. Your life is in danger. Seriously.

One. One strike and that's it. Find your strength and leave, before you can't.

One strike and you are out. If he has given you two he has shown what he is like and you might not live to tell the tale after the third.
GO while you are still alive.

Well it's kind of pointless. We all know full well there definitely WILL be a 3rd time so what is the point of waiting for it?

Here OP, you could be risking brain damage or death even weeks after the assault.

Seriously, read this then decide whether you really want to give him a chance to do this again.

www.strangulationtraininginstitute.com/health-issues-result-from-strangulation/

One and my wife would be in custody because I called the police.
You aren’t safe with this man.

He's done it twice already. You have a feeling he will do it again.

Leave before he gets to hurt you more. Please, please leave. This isn't a 3 strikes and you're out situation, this is far more serious.

You are worth more than this. You deserve to be treated with kindness, love and respect - not violence. Please, don't wait for the third strike, get to safety as soon as you can.

And the third time is he strangled and kills you! Get out now

Please run. Please.

3 strikes?? You are better than that. Leave pronto.

Yabu. ONE strike and you’re out.
You said you know he will do it again so WHY wait?

Do you have anyone you could go to now? Basically you have no way of knowing when the 3rd strike will be, and it could be now. Please get somewhere safe, soon.

Three strikes won’t mean a thing to you if he squeezes too hard on the third?

Seriously 😐 get rid no man should put his hands on you in anger ever!!

Nasty feeling you're wrong...?

He's not a good man. No good person puts their hands on someone's neck. You are in danger.

Why are you staying? I don’t understand at all.