Putting his hands around my neck... 3 strikes and you’re out?

[Smellbellina]

He has done it twice so far, only left red marks. I have told people, they have asked I call police and given me details of a solicitor. I have a 3 strikes option in my head, this was strike 2, I have told more people this time (including his family) mine don’t like my position but accept it and have offered to pay for a solicitor.
3 strikes, AIBU?
I haven’t name changed for this as I don’t see why I should, it’s not my dirty secret to keep.

One strike, you might be dead on the second.

Why on Earth are you waiting for another strike?
You should have packed your babes after strike one! Or even earlier, judging by your post.

www.thehotline.org/2016/03/15/the-dangers-of-strangulation/

Please read this. Once he’s strangled you once the chances of him killing you jump so much higher.

Oh, and strangulation can cause permanent internal injuries even if it doesn't leave any visible external marks. So there's that too.

It sounds like you're waiting for a third time. It doesn't sound like you think it will never happen again. Like you think it would be unfair to only give him one chance? I think you should really look into why 3 times and what prompted that decision.

One strike. Done.
Having told people won’t help you when you are dead and just another domestic violence headline.
Get out.
Now.
Before you are dead.

why are you taking this stance? can you talk us through it?

You should have left him and called the police the very first time. This man may very well kill you the next time.

First time his hands went round your neck that should be 1/2&3 strikes and out!!

Done

He will probably kill you the third time he does it
Are you waiting for him to try?

"only left red marks"

Finish that sentence "He only left red marks when he could have damaged my windpipe or even killed me and he might the next time. " Think about that. On the third strike when he puts his hands on your neck, you have no idea what is going to happen next.

Leave him and accept all the help your friends and relatives have offered.

And well done for not hiding it - you’re right this is not on you. However, as others have said, it could anger him more to find out that others know. The most dangerous time with abusive men is when they realise they’re losing control and your planning to leave. Please take care to cover your tracks and make sure that you have someone with you when you leave him.

I sound like a twat but I don’t think he will kill me next time. But I do think there will be a next time, so I’m not sure what I am waiting for

It’s awful to say (and I would imagine harder to read) but you are now seven times more likely to die at his hands.

I also had this 3 strikes rule (although not for DV). I then realised after strike 1 that I was just looking for an excuse not to take action.

I decided that 1 strike was enough. Hope you can make that same decision. Once was too many.

That's crazy, don't worry love you can three attempts at strangling me before I leave 🤦‍♀️

My very good friend was seriously assaulted, needed hospital treatment by her Partner. It was the 1st time. She never made it to the 3 strike rule before she got seriously hurt.

Seriously, just leave he wont use up his last strike and think oo better not. You deserve a lot better.

Oh good grief...

A man hurts you physically once and that should be it - game over, end of relationship, he never gets to touch you again.

Value yourself.

Please leave him-
My understanding is that if anyone commits violence with hands round your neck that chances are it escalates- you could be murdered.
Once was enough.look after yourself

1 strike for me...why does he get 3 goes to kill you?!

Please leave right now, do you have some
Where you can go x

Any attempt to restrict an airway is a high risk indicator of domestic homicide. I wouldn't give him any strikes.

Please don't wait for a next time

Decent men don't put their hands round a women's neck... ever

I sound like a twat but I don’t think he will kill me next time.

Most women who are killed by their partners never believed he would actually murder them. Thousands upon thousands of these victims were wrong.

only left red marks! That’s not placing hands on neck, that is choking which is one of the quickest ways to kill a person in less than 30 seconds. You are in denial. Why else would you somehow link it to American baseball? It’s not a game, this is you gambling your life.

You should have called the police the very first time.