DP saying 'I love you' to his ex

[Cheesestring84]

At the end of a phone call and when saying goodbye my dp and his ex say 'I love you'. I told him I find it upsetting and he thinks it is my issue rather than theirs. I know they want to stay friends for the sake of the children but this feels like a step too far. Is it just me?

Seriously, is no one else seeing the same post 16, yes16 times on page 3 or is my phone goosed?

Does he sign off all calls in this way?. If so, it's not really a problem is it?.

Very strange.

If he still loves his ex why has he split from her?
Plus got a new partner?

He is massively disrespectful to you OP. Maybe just maybe you have been a bit too good & understanding to him so far?? So he is taking the piss really.
Well now it's time for you to give him some kind of ultimatum I think - either the 'I love you' crap to his ex stops ASAP or he can pack his bags.

But do not allow him to get you to do the 'pick me' dance.
Stick to the ultimatum once you make it.

@amusedtodeath1 yes ive seen it

No. I wouldn’t be ok with this. I would also feel very hurt and distressed that he wasn’t taking on my hurt about it being said. Sorry OP I know I would over think this to death and probably destroy what was left of the relationship.

Seriously, is no one else seeing the same post 16, yes 16 times on page 3 or is my phone goosed?

I see it

Wow, is that a glitch or did someone just post the same thing over an over or is it me?

Nope she definitely posted 16 times .. lol

Can completely see why you don't like it but other than for your sake actually don't see a problem with them saying it.
If they feel they do still love eachother (not romantically) then it's nice they can express that. They have kids together so were presumably together ages. Not all relationships break up with drama and terrible arguments and resentment.
If it hurts, let OH know and perhaps he'll stop saying it.

Hi @Diverseopinions

why not tell us a few more times?

My OH and I both have close friendships with exes, to the point of regarding them as important as family. No problem unless you are insecure.

Ewwwww proper weird. I'd get rid

@joystir59

OK, close relationship with an ex is fine. But, "I love you"? That's not normal or at all fair to your current partner.

Actually CreditCrackers , I am the same as you. Long since divorced from 3 kids dad. Very very happily married to DH . He lives overseas. Kids see him once a year but we all ft him weekly. We always end the call with 'Love you' . because we do. Our marriage ended because we had become mates rather than husband and wife.

Luckily DH is secure enough in his own skin and with our relationship not to feel any threat from this at all and is completely cool with it. Even says how great it is that we are so kind to each other.

He has the opposite relationship with his ex wife. Stereo screaming on the doorstep, never invited inside the house. Kids weren't allowed to take Christmas presents home from him and I. .. all communication was either email or screaming..

I know which divorce has resulted in the more well adjusted happier children.

Crackers. Take credit, you certainly are

YANBU I would find it strange and also be uncomfortable. I could accept something along the lines of “take care” or •look after yourself” but I love you is odd.

It is possible to say 'I love you' in a platonic sense to people we regard as family.

There's a difference between a quick "love you" which could mean bye, although still a bit weird... But "I love you" is a statement.

Run

@Diverseopinions were you having trouble posting?!

[quote Terralee]@amusedtodeath1 yes ive seen it [/quote]
Oh thank you, I thought I was going bonkers or my phone was screwed.

I’d be absolutely livid and wouldn’t be happy. YANBU at all.

@disorganisedsecretsquirrel

Actually CreditCrackers , I am the same as you. Long since divorced from 3 kids dad. Very very happily married to DH . He lives overseas. Kids see him once a year but we all ft him weekly. We always end the call with 'Love you' . because we do. Our marriage ended because we had become mates rather than husband and wife.

Luckily DH is secure enough in his own skin and with our relationship not to feel any threat from this at all and is completely cool with it. Even says how great it is that we are so kind to each other.

He has the opposite relationship with his ex wife. Stereo screaming on the doorstep, never invited inside the house. Kids weren't allowed to take Christmas presents home from him and I. .. all communication was either email or screaming..

I know which divorce has resulted in the more well adjusted happier children.

You realise there is a happy medium though. You don't have to declare love or scream at your ex. I get along fine doing neither. It is also probably easier for your dh seeing as you are married and your ex lives overseas, not down the road.

No. That's not on. Get out quick and let them get on with loving each other.

Totally weird, imo.

It’s inappropriate and disrespectful to you .
YANBU to feel hurt by him saying this .
He may well still have strong feelings for her as mother of his children and a shared history with no animosity and that’s ok ish ..it doesn’t necessarily mean that he doesn’t love you .
But he’s a total inconsiderate sod if he can’t see why saying this is wrong this is wrong and would hurt you .

He can say it to the kids (obvs) but no, not to her! I'd also get out.

FWIW I overheard a similar convo when he didn't think I was listening and confronted him - he said it was a "little white lie" and couldn't see the issues with that. In hindsight he didn't know what he wanted but he was quite happy to gaslight me instead of try to figure it out. I suspect he is doing the same to you; making you feel you are being overly sensitive etc. Not true.