To ask about nakedness in front of dc

[Whatafustercluck]

I've always gone on the basis that as soon as your child feels uncomfortable around you being naked, you should start covering up/ closing the door when dressing or bathing. Ds is 9 and not remotely bothered but I'm starting to wonder if this is weird/ out of step with others. We don't parade around naked for no reason of course, but he will frequently see us naked getting dressed/ undressed morning/ night. How open are you with your kids and what age did that stop? I've seen some experts say that it may be inappropriate from 5 which has concerned me tbh.

They don't particularly pay any attention to the fact I've got no clothes on to be honest

This. The DC in my family (and extended family) are all like this.

10 year old Dniece has recently started wanting some privacy - that's normal as she approaches puberty.

The NSPCC pants stuff really isnt suitable for young children age 2 or 3. I am absolutely not going to tell the 2 year old that it's his body and therefore he is entitled to refuse to allow me to clean him up after a toilet training accident, for example. Of course it's the right thing to teach school age children.

I normally try to be modest in front of my 5yo and 9yo. But when I have a bath/shower or go to the loo, they often come into the bathroom.

Although it’s not ideal, I can see that they are not bothered by my nakedness, so I don’t let it bother me.

I'm so sad about all the judgement against naked bodies in our society. They're just bodies. Everybody has one. Naked bodies aren't inherently sexual or gross or rude

I so agree with this. My parents didn't cover themselves up if they just popped to the lav or to make a cuppa to take back to bed, and I grew up to find it normal to be naked in your own home occasionally. I still wander round the house naked, which DP finds positively eccentric. He wouldn't dream of coming downstairs in the buff, even though there's only the two of us in the house.

This whole thread is just making me think of puritanical missionaries making "the natives" wear clothes, and cover up their bodies because of the "shame". Also the word "modest" bothers me. It has very religious connotations.

I never said I avoided it, I just don't get naked I front of them 🤷🏻‍♀️

Brits are so weirdly hung up about nudity.

Yes this. I find it bizarre.

My parents were relaxed about being naked around us. It was never a big deal. Same for my kids now.

My 12 year old will wander in when I’m in the bath - normally to witter in about Fortnite or some such nonsense. He takes no notice that I’m naked - but when we were watching a programme which had naked tribes women he got giggly and covered his eyes. I think I’m just mummy and not a woman, if that makes sense?

@LaurieMarlow yes! I know and fully accept that few Brits embrace full-on FKK lifestyles (which is why I never meet any on holiday) but I did not realise how bizarre some people's attitudes in Britain are about just simple nudity within your own home! (And also how people are happy to basically accuse naturist families of child abuse, that is an eye-opener!).

I think it's odd, bordering on abusive quite frankly to take your DC on a holiday entirely based around the fact people are naked...

There's a world of difference between that and people who are easy going at home.

Actually, bringing up the issue of naked tribes in an interesting one in the context, come to think of it. Children who grow up entirely around naked adults and naked other children, are they being failed by their parents? I think not. (And please, do not misunderstand, I am NOT talking about weird cults in which adult sexuality is forced on children of course I know that these exist/have existed, I am talking about societies where no or little clothing is the normal state for everyone).

@natural63

Actually, bringing up the issue of naked tribes in an interesting one in the context, come to think of it. Children who grow up entirely around naked adults and naked other children, are they being failed by their parents? I think not. (And please, do not misunderstand, I am NOT talking about weird cults in which adult sexuality is forced on children of course I know that these exist/have existed, I am talking about societies where no or little clothing is the normal state for everyone).

That’s something completely different. Why are they doing that? You can’t compare how others live else where in the world and try make it out to be the same it’s not the same at all.

The holiday is not "entirely based" around being naked. We do many other things that lots of people might do on holiday. We go to restaurants, make a barbeque, sightsee, have drinks with friends, water-ski, etc etc. We just happen to like going to a particular (very beautiful) beach in the daytime, where we can practice our FKK beliefs, be with like-minded people and enjoy the free and relaxed environment without clothing.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Your children don’t want to stare at naked adults!!! They don’t want to have to see saggy balls and hairy arses and other shit like that. And you are forcing it on them! It’s fucked up.

Oh but saggy chins and hairy arms are fine?

Young children literally don't really recognise genitals etc as being particularly different to any other body part, unless that is, an adult teaches them to regard those body parts with shame, fear or revulsion. They are just functional parts of the body - sexual connotations are implied by adults.

Young children absolutely do know about private parts. It starts from when you potty train and sometimes they may take their nappy off obviously at home it’s fine. You wouldn’t let them do it in public! Children do know and they shouldn’t be exposed to certain things.

I take my DC on a holiday based on the lifestyle I have lived and the beliefs I have had all my life. It just so happens that includes having a positive attitude to nudity where appropriate and accepted. It also includes many other things: love of the local environment and the local culture, enjoying the weather and scenery, enjoying the local cuisine, having friends there, being in a very safe and relaxed environment, being able to enjoy the sports that we love etc etc. The nudity is just a normal part of what we do, The whole point is that it is not any kind of focus, because it is just the norm for us.

@natural63 Sounds fantastic to me. Sadly I don’t think DH would feel comfortable.

Mine didn't either, the very first time! I was always a naturist, as was my first husband. When I got together with DH I told him and he expressed nervousness about it but was game to try. The first beach visit was not a great success as we went to a beach which was "mixed" (FKK one side, textiles the other) and he felt uncomfortable.

So after that we settled on the exclusively (very strictly so) FKK beach where I had already been going for several years at that point. He loved it and we have been there every summer since.

I can’t believe you are comparing taking your child on a beach, with a swimming costume on, where everyone has some sort of covering - with taking them somewhere to be naked, where everyone is naked.

I don’t get it. Is it some sort of personality substitute? Nakedness is nothing to be ashamed of but it’s a very personal thing and it certainly shouldn’t be forced on anyone once they have a concept of it. As a PP said, once they potty train or go to school etc it’s pretty obvious to them they don’t dangle their bits around in public/take off their underwear etc.

It starts from when you potty train and sometimes they may take their nappy off obviously at home it’s fine. You wouldn’t let them do it in public!

A really sad world if tiny children play on a beach or can't jump in the sea naked. Of course they can be naked in public, why on earth not? I'll accept it might be frowned upon in Waitrose but in a public padding pool or in a local stream, its absolutely fine.

I grew up in an very relaxed house, we were and still are fine about being naked in front of each other - we knew it wasn't appropriate to hang out undressed/semi undressed at friends' houses etc so it wasn't like we became nudists. I can't imagine being any other way - surely you're going to give your kid body issues if one day you suddenly start telling them to cover up?

As I've posted earlier, I've never seen my parents naked, and have absolutely zero wish to, EVER. I'm 51 and also not British.

@CherryPavlova

But it IS a sad world. It really is. Paedophiles are seemingly everywhere, and they have easy access to photographing and videoing technology, plus distribution, all in their phone. It makes me sad but it is what it is. Similarly I have some lovely photos of DS in the bath but I would never post them
Online!

In Iceland we have compulsory naked showers at the swimming pool before anyone can get in. Dc see not only me but also everyone else naked. It takes a while to get used to but now it seems totally normal and in no way an issue. Ds comes in with me and dd but will be expected to use the boys once he is six (they have a separate, supervised boys room for unaccompanied boys and the same for girls). It never feels inappropriate or embarrassing, it’s just what we do.

I should add that use of phones or any other device with a camera is strictly prohibited in the changing and pool areas.

Have you never swum naked, @Raaaa? It feels fantastic.

Unless you have your own pool, nudist beaches are pretty much the only places where you can do that in the UK. (Although in my teens/early 20s we knew how to get into a couple of pools at night and indulged in quite a bit of nocturnal skinny dipping)

Not sure about naked swimming.

I stayed in SE for a year, no way I would want to swim naked. Sea snakes, jelly fish, poisounous coral. Yuk!