To ask about nakedness in front of dc

[Whatafustercluck]

I've always gone on the basis that as soon as your child feels uncomfortable around you being naked, you should start covering up/ closing the door when dressing or bathing. Ds is 9 and not remotely bothered but I'm starting to wonder if this is weird/ out of step with others. We don't parade around naked for no reason of course, but he will frequently see us naked getting dressed/ undressed morning/ night. How open are you with your kids and what age did that stop? I've seen some experts say that it may be inappropriate from 5 which has concerned me tbh.

[formerbabe]

I had fairly liberal parents...I found it disgusting seeing them naked. Nothing dodgy going on...I just thought it was gross.

[LadyPrigsbottom]

I have a 5yo and a 2yo. I think the 5yo is getting too old for seeing me totally naked now. Bra and pants or a vest and pants (big pants, like shorts) I think is fine though. The 2yo I don't think really cares or notices, but I now am in the habit of changing in a bathroom etc, because of the 5yo anyway, so neither of them see me naked really... But it's easy enough, because we have a bathroom right by our bedroom, so if we're all cuddled up in the morning, it's easy enough to go and change next door.

[greentreesdream]

What a child grows up with becomes his or her normal. I am not saying that this applies to the OP or to subsequent posters, but even a child who is abused by their parents won’t know that this is wrong. They may know it hurts, makes them cry, embarrasses them - but they won’t know it’s wrong.

I really do feel privacy, whether for yourself or privacy “from” someone else, isn’t something anybody should have to ask for or express discomfort with to get. Children shouldn’t have to say, “please will you put some clothes on, you are really embarrassing me.”

It really does just come down to a bit of respect.

[Hohohole]

I don't think there's anything wrong with people being naked. There's no shame in being naked and I don't want my children to think there is.

It would be weird if I rushed to cover up or asked them to leave the room. I don't stomp around the house naked but I might sleep with nothing on if it's hot or they come in to chat when I'm in the bath.
If you're weird about it so will your kids and they shouldn't be. It's just skin.

[Jiggeriepokerie]

My kids are 18 and 21. From about 10 they started closing the doors more often but not all the time. My son happily jumps in the shower if I'm brushing my teeth. And neither have ever worried about my privacy! Still they come in to sit and talk to me when I'm in the bath .

It's just a body. Nothing weird about it. I understand if any child feels it's uncomfortable for them to see, but I wonder what's going through some parents' minds when they make the conscious decision to be always fully clothed around their very, very young children. What's going to happen?!

[QuietlyWilting]

We all used to wander about naked no bother.
Then it naturally changes, you don't need to worry about it as children all move through these stages in their own time.
As long as they have choices, then all is well.
My daughter 14 is still not bothered about seeing me naked but she took to covering herself up sometime over the last few years. She comes in the bathroom when I am in the shower/on the loo, its not a problem for me.
DS now 17 got a bit shy and started shutting the bathroom door around age 11, so we don't invade his privacy and wouldn't wander about naked in front of him.
He did walk in on me when I was getting changed a few years ago and I think it burned his eyeballs. I shut my door if I am getting dressed so he only has himself to blame if he opens the door without checking (my door is always open unless I am getting changed).
DH doesnt wander about naked so if they choose to go in the bathroom when he is in the shower that is up to them, but they don't anymore. It just stops naturally as they move into teen/pre teen years.
At 9 I was still going in when they were in the bath to wash their hair and other such things but it was towards the tail end of it. I'd call in "do you want me to wash your hair" and one day they say no thanks. So it is all in their control.

[JustC]

@Haggisfish

I’m naked a lot too so they grow up being comfortable with their own bodies. They occasionally get shy and I always put something on if they ask. They are 9 and 7. Brits are so weirdly hung up about nudity.

Im not a brit. It's not about being hung up, it's about not normalising it to the point a starnger gets naked in front of the and they see it as normal. There is nothing wrong with a naked body per se, the human body is nothing shameful. It's about them realising there should be a limit to whose naked body a child should see, and starting some limits at home to help them realise this.

[Mintjulia]

I started covering up when ds was about 7. He started closing the bathroom door at 10.

He still sees me in my underwear sometimes but we seem to have managed a pretty relaxed transition from child to pre-teen.

[CatFaceCats]

My children are 8 and 9 and still see me naked. But, I’m never naked randomly around the house. They see me naked when they come in to ask (inane) questions when I’m in the shower or the bath. They see me naked when they walk into my room as i’m getting dressed, or when I walk from my en suite to my wardrobe.
If they don’t want to see me naked, they can stop coming to places where I am naked. If I’m away to get changed and they are in my room, I always say, I’m going to get changed. They chose to ignore me and continue watching tv.
But, I would never intrude on their privacy, I knock on bathroom doors and leave them to change in peace.
My 8 year old son is definitely more private than his 9 year old sister, she’s always been the naked child!

[Idontbelieveit12]

I don’t generally be naked in front of anyone, I’m overweight so don’t like being naked! I have 3 DC, 3, 12 and 13. They do occasionally see me In underwear but not naked. I have got into the habit of going to the toilet with the door open to listen for my 3 year old now he doesn’t follow me everywhere, 12yo DS not impressed 🙈

[AteAllTheAfterEights]

My are 9 and 3 and I’m often naked around them. Not necessarily through choice, I’m not flaunting it but they often jump in bed I. The morning or come in to bathroom for a chat. DD9 in particular always hovers round when I’m getting ready. Handy though, she can fake ran my back now.

[AteAllTheAfterEights]

Tan

[BetterEatCheese]

Dd 9 sees us naked and we really have no issue. I as brought up in a house where this didn't really occur and bodies weren't celebrated and I grew up with massive issues. Trying to let dd seri ewba

[QuietlyWilting]

Also I read somewhere when the kids were young that when they don't see their parents naked, ever, then their only ideas of what human adult bodies look like naked come from porn or magazines.
Having seen me and DH and all our saggy bits, they are able to understand how lovely their young bodies are and to know that their future partners bodies are lovely and not compare themselves or future partners to the unrealistic bodies they might have otherwise thought were normal.
Bodies are natural, as PP said, it is only skin. I don't want my DC to feel that there is anything wrong or rude about their bodies.
As long as they don't get their bits out in public, I want them to feel comfortable about their bodies and those of their future partners.

[BetterEatCheese]

Argh stupid phone!
... see what real bodies are like

[Stompythedinosaur]

My eldest dd is 9 too and she definitely sees me naked - I don't wander round naked but she will come into my bedroom when I'm changing. She's just started to want privacy in the bathroom so I imagine things will change over the next year. Currently she still takes her clothes off and wanders round, and generally chooses to have a bath with her younger sister than alone (but I always give her a choice).

I shared a room with my dm on holiday as an adult and got changed in front of her so I don't see it as a big deal. I was quite surprised when pp said they don't get changed in front of young dc, that seems unusual to me.

I suppose to me naked bodies aren't sexual unless you are doing something sexual with them.

[PeppermintPasty]

I have a ds 13 and a dd 10, neither are uncomfortable walking in on me when I’m dressing etc in my bedroom, and it doesn’t bother me and never has, which is the attitude I’ve tried to encourage.

My ds seems to have covered himself up a bit more in the last couple of years, eg going to and from the shower to his bedroom and so on, but that’s about it.

I don’t tend to make a big deal of it, there was some shame and embarrassment when I was growing up which I’m determined to avoid for them.

[BadAlice]

Nudity is a non issue as far as I’m concerned. Still see my parents naked from time to time. DS is only a toddler but I don’t plan to make it an issue. Obviously if/when he gets to a stage that he wants his privacy, we’ll respect that.

[midnightstar66]

I have 2 DD's so obviously it's a bit different as they are I likely to become uncomfortable in the same way but my dsis has 2 boys and never really changed her behaviour at a certain age her ds's just took it on themselves to start closing a door or not walking in to bedroom after she'd got out the bath. It was never a big deal and they were certainly older than 9

[Newchapter2020]

I think everyone and every family is different. I honestly don't think there is a 'norm'. We have sleepovers and if I get up and want to get dressed then I will, the kid will carry on talking to me whilst I'm getting dressed. The oldest is 12.

[StylishMummy]

I think 9-10 roughly is a reasonable age to be more discreet around your own DC. Mine are 2 and 4 and are naked in the garden whenever it's warm (we're not overlooked)

[gamerchick]

It's always been something that ended naturally. Same as siblings sharing a bath. I 'think' it was puberty. Those new hairs can make them more aware of bodies so it just sorta stops.

[QueenofmyPrinces]

I have two boys, a 6 year old and an almost 3 year old.

I felt very uncomfortable being naked around my 6 year old.

My husband hates wearing clothes in the house, he used to strip off as soon as he got home and would often be found lounging around naked.

My 6 year old hates wearing clothes and is also always stripping off and I think he gets it from seeing his dad behave like it.

Over the last month though my husband has stopped being naked in front of the 6 year old because he doesn’t feel it’s appropriate anymore.

Obviously getting in and out the shower etc is a different matter, that can’t be helped, but generally we aren’t naked in front of the children.

[poppyfieldsinmay]

It's a cultural thing. I think most Brits would find going naked into a sauna with other adults, especially family members, utterly mortifying. But in some cultures its just normal and what people do.

[birthdaybelle]

As @louise000000 says, I'd rather mine saw my normal naked body and grew up knowing that the bodies they do all see (magazines, porn etc. Aren't the only kind of bodies there are).

I live alone with my teenage dd and we regularly walk about naked. Not on purpose as such but if on the way to the bathroom and the towel was in there I wouldn't cover myself up to get there. Neither "looks" at each other so I don't see the problem. If dd needs to say something to me and I'm naked she just looks at my face, if that makes sense.

People get so hung up about nudity. Although my experience as a single mum with a teen daughter is very different to other set ups. If I had a partner I wouldn't want him naked in front of her and visa versa