To ask about nakedness in front of dc

[Whatafustercluck]

I've always gone on the basis that as soon as your child feels uncomfortable around you being naked, you should start covering up/ closing the door when dressing or bathing. Ds is 9 and not remotely bothered but I'm starting to wonder if this is weird/ out of step with others. We don't parade around naked for no reason of course, but he will frequently see us naked getting dressed/ undressed morning/ night. How open are you with your kids and what age did that stop? I've seen some experts say that it may be inappropriate from 5 which has concerned me tbh.

@woodhill

I disagree Natura I think doing that is a harsh thing to inflict on your dc who have to go with you

Absolutely. Dc really are conditioned by their parents and unable to say no.

Getting changed or unlocked bathroom doors fine but nudist (why not use that term it is what it is) holidays with kids are just awful. Consenting adults if you must, but even so why? what is so constricting about a bikini. It's all a bit gratuitous.

I also only remember having a brief phase of being a bit mortified if I saw my dad naked. At about age 12 -15 I remember going a bit shy about it etc but it was temporary.

@crispysausagerolls

I agree....to deliberately take your child on a holiday where they'll be continually exposed to the sight of strange adults genitalia is just horrendous.

Your children don’t want to stare at naked adults!!! They don’t want to have to see saggy balls and hairy arses and other shit like that. And you are forcing it on them! It’s fucked up.

Oh but saggy chins and hairy arms are fine?

Young children literally don't really recognise genitals etc as being particularly different to any other body part, unless that is, an adult teaches them to regard those body parts with shame, fear or revulsion. They are just functional parts of the body - sexual connotations are implied by adults.

Your genitals are private. Seeing your parents as you live with them can be unavoidable.

Pretending a dangling penis is the same as a chin in terms of how private it is, is nonsense.

Nakedness isn’t shameful - but it’s private!!!! It’s for children to be guarded by their family until
They are old
Enough to consent
To be around naked people/be naked.

I don't know why you'd want to go on a nudist beach in the first place

Oh but saggy chins and hairy arms are fine?

All this faux confusion at the difference between genitalia and other body parts is laughable? Are you really saying if a bloke walked down the road with his cock hanging out you'd be totally fine? or a woman walking around the supermarket with nothing on her bottom half and you wouldn't raise an eyebrow?

I do think that there is an issue of safeguarding, and of privacy for a child’s body, if you are making it okay for young teens and you to barge in to toilets, showers, bedrooms etc and okay to see people naked as it is ‘family’. I think we are all learning about respect and safeguarding for children, and this is one area that is worth taking a good look at.

Most abuse does go on in families, so saying to a child nakedness is okay within families but not outside is a safeguarding issue I think? It’s really not okay to be sleeping naked with teens in our beds for example, or to be walking around naked in front of them. As they grow into adults, they might happily walk around naked with their partners, in their own homes, that is totally up to them.

That is not to say that every accidental naked instance is abuse, or that we can’t also be totally comfortable with our bodies and our own nakedness. I am completely comfortable with my own nakedness! I am not a prude and it is belittling and really off to use that to put down other parents who are more private. As a parent my job is to help my kids feel good, confident but also safe and to have boundaries.

My parents were bought up catholics so they were the total opposite and over shared massively. Thought of themselves as very liberated but made me and my siblings quite self conscious to be honest. I still find it cringing although I know they didn’t mean any harm. I didn’t want to see their bodies, why would I? There were problems with lack of boundaries in my home growing up and I am more conscious of this. I don’t shriek in horror if my kid opens the door to the bedroom by mistake, nor do I fuss over the smallest as he’s still learning about privacy, I don’t make it a big deal. However I do teach them to knock, I do say their bodies are their own. I even have shared hotel rooms with my teenage son - but we very naturally get changed taking turns while one is in the shower, we have twin beds, I wear pyjamas instead of my short nighty etc - it’s not a big deal but I think it really helps feeling respectful.

Oh but saggy chins and hairy arms are fine?

Oh come on, don't be so silly.

There's a clear difference between wearing a t-shirt to Tesco, and turning up on the school run wearing just a pair of crotchless knickers. One is acceptable and the other isn't for good reason.

There is a huge gap between nudity between family members at home to taking children to be observed naked by strangers on a naturalist holiday.

Surely, most naturalists know there are some people who go on these holidays/beaches are doing to see others naked?

I know this as I spent time on a naturist beach and saw the men hiding in sand dunes with binoculars!!

I notice that most of the posters wanting to cover up are resorting to sexualised slang to describe body parts, as if by referring to a person's groin as their "muff" somehow makes it less acceptable.

All the parts of our bodies are necessary functional parts, we really do not need to be so weird about them!

12 year old dd and 11 year old ds have no shame at all and are quite happy to be naked. Although ds did barge into my room today when I was just about to shower and walked out as quick when he realised i was naked. They just point and laugh and comment if they catch a glance of dh so he normally covers up to save himself from their reactions.

Oh for God's sake, have you never heard of naturism? Why be so rude? It is perfectly normal in many places. It has nothing whatsoever to do with sex or sexuality. Look up FKK. Where I go on holiday the families who go there have been going to this particular place for generations.

Tbf I'm not saying I'm ok with people wandering out a supermarket naked but I really don't think it's a big deal if pre pubertal children are comfortable oblivious with parents occasional nudity in normal circumstances- getting out of the bath or getting dressed.

Oh for God's sake, have you never heard of naturism?

Yes. I think it’s odd personally, but for consenting adults, each to their own.

Dragging children along is messed up.

Young children literally don't really recognise genitals etc as being particularly different to any other body part Yes they do and if they don't you need to teach them the pants the stay safe underwear rule available on the nspcc website.

And of course my children (well one child and one adult stepdaughter) are naked when on the naturist beach! As are everyone else's children. And everyone else.The whole point is that we don't consider being naked to be an issue of any kind.

And of course my children (well one child and one adult stepdaughter) are naked when on the naturist beach! As are everyone else's children. And everyone else.The whole point is that we don't consider being naked to be an issue of any kind

Honestly I don’t know why someone would put their children in this situation. Of course there will
Be adults who go to these beaches to stare at naked children. And your children don’t get to make decision for themselves, they are going along with a family activity.

My child being naked is a perfectly innocent thing but frankly I wouldn’t even have him
Naked on any beach because there are people in this world who are not innocent.

I consider some of the attitudes to the human body on this thread to be "messed up" but I have not been rude enough to say so. We are part of the FKK movement, many people are, most people are not. That's fine. I am not telling you what to do with your children, but this is the way we live and bring up our children.

There are adults who go to beaches to stare at children in swimsuits too, believe me. All the time. That does not mean you have to keep your children swathed in fabric. It just means you protect your children from such people and teach them about dangers in an age-appropriate way.

There are men who look at little boys in sports changing rooms too. Do we stop children doing sport?

My 5yo DD and 7yo DS probably see me naked as I'll be in the bath and they will come in the bathroom for a wee, or they will be milling about upstairs whilst I'm getting dressed etc. They don't particularly pay any attention to the fact I've got no clothes on to be honest. DP doesn't like being naked around them and will turn around if we are in a family changing room at swimming or whatever, and that's his choice too so completely fine.

I have a 4 year old and 2 year old, both regularly jump in the bath or shower with me or DH.

There’s a difference between pedophiles staring at kids wearing swim suits and a mother allowing it to happen by taking them to a nudist beach, there’s a whole section in porn where photos of nudist family end up,where is the safe guarding for the kids? and how do you teach them consent if you are allowing strangers to flash them. I personally see it as grooming and normalising this behaviour from young age where they can’t say no.

Same approach as you op. As soon as either the DC or us feel uncomfortable with nudity it ends. That people outside our family might view it differently is fine but irrelevant.