To be annoyed at this gift request

[Jamielynn]

Hi everyone! Just wanted some opinions whether I was being sensitive here and overreacting about a situation that’s happened recently.

I bought my youngest brother in law a birthday gift from Selfridges from a brand I’ve seen him wear a lot. Usually my (now) DH would get him something from both of us, but since we got married a few months ago we thought it’d be nice if I picked out something for him from myself. I initially wanted to give a gift card but DH insisted it wasn’t personal enough so I bought an expensive item of clothing that I thought was his style. I asked DH’s opinion and he agreed that it was lovely and he’d appreciate it

Now.. brother in law wants me to return the gift and give him money instead. He didn’t tell me directly but MIL told me that he doesn’t like it and would prefer if I returned it and gave him money instead.

Am I right to be a bit annoyed at this or am I being unreasonable?

There are so many red flags here OP. In this instance I might just quietly get the money back on the gift and give it to him - but I’d be very tempted to give him half and keep half.
But your BIL is not really your problem- you have the MN cliche of a husband problem. I think this situation gives you the opportunity to have a serious and overdue conversation with DH about money, in-laws, gifts, budgets etc. You definitely need to agree suitable amounts to spend on family members, for which occasions, and who buys/organises. I would suggest he buys for his family from now on.

BTW I’ve never heard of a couple buying gifts each - it’s just weird. I wonder whether you have a lot of personal money that DH wants you to spend on his family? I’m also slightly perturbed by your in-laws not giving you a wedding gift - it sounds rather unwelcoming. All in all you need to have these conversations now and again if circumstances change.

@Jamielynn

My colleague is an only child so sadly it means there’s more than one of them

[quote Jamielynn]@garbagegirl He gave it to MIL to give back to me[/quote]
I would take it back and give him a gift card for £15. For WH Smith