To feel sick with worry over DHs cash job and universal credit

[DHisaDick]

Hopefully the name change has worked as not surprisingly I dont want this linked to any of my other posting... apologies it's going to be long.

Me and DH don't have the best relationship as it is, and when it concerns anything financial it is even worse. He managed to hide serious financial issues and a gambling problem for a long, long time, leaving us in debt we are still dealing with two years later, however he has been gamble free for 18 months.

Up until lockdown DH had a steady job and we were able to cover all household bills and start paying off the debt he had go us into, I am a mature student / stay at home mum to our young DD, plus I provide a lot of childcare for his SD, and do a lot of pick ups and drop offs so DH was able to maintain his full time job. We claim universal credit, dont get a huge amount but its paid into my account and it covers the few direct debits that come from my account (car insurance and credit card payments mainly), we then have a joint account that his wage was paid into so I had access to money when ever I needed it.

The area DH worked in was it hard by lockdown and in early April he was made redundant, he hadn't been there long enough to receive any significant amount of money for that. Because of the debt we are in, monthly repayments are quite high, plus DH pays above the minimum for child maintenance for his DD, the maximum we receive in universal credit when DH isn't working doesn't cover all our outgoings, not even close.

A family member offered to pay me a small amount to do a bit of cleaning for them (£30 a fortnight) to try to help us out a little bit. I fully appreciate this takes me over the amount I can earn before I register as self employed but things were looking very desperate.

Thankfully DH has managed to find work in a new field, very well paid but self employed. This means that although he is paid via bank transfer, it doesn't go through HMRC iyswim, and is basically cash in hand. DH has decided he has no intention what so ever of registering as self employed and has decided that we should continue claiming the maximum amount of universal credit, and just pretend he is still unemployed.

This is making me feel very uncomfortable, as I'll be receiving the maximum amount in UC every month which we arnt entitled to. His new job is very well paid and would mean our UC entitlement would drop significantly. I've explained my concerns to DH and he has decided as I'll be receiving so much UC, he is going to get his new wage transferred into his own personal bank account instead of the joint one, as I will have more than enough money (the bigger expenses we have are paid through the joint account, not my own) and he is just going to transfer enough across to the joint one to cover the rent etc.

Basically this leaves me in a shit position. If I tell UC he is working, quite rightly UC will drop (his new earnings mean it will be less than £100) and I'll have hardly any money and i need roughly £300 a month to cover my outgoings from my personal account. If I don't tell UC he is working, were claiming fraudulently.

I'm in no position to leave right now, though I am planning to before the end of the year, so LTB, whilst an appropriate response really isn't helpful. I cant work right now, DH uses our car for work, public transport where we are now is a bit hit and miss still. I cant afford childcare for DD and I doubt DH is about to cough up for it, I have family near by but they are in the shielding category and it feels a bit unfair to put this upon them.
There is no way I'll get any credit to be able to get money to get me out of this situation any time soon, family can't loan me anything.
The job i intend to go into, that I've been working so hard towards since before DHs gambling fuck up, depends on integrity and I'll never get a job if I'm caught basically committing fraud.

No idea what I expect anyone to say tbh, I'll be surprised if anyone is still reading at this point

You have had some amazing advice on here, the only thing I have to add other than sending loads of best wishes is that you are clearly already planning on ending it. Do not jeopardise your future career and credit rating by getting a tarnished reputation.

I'm reluctant to tell uni, the area I'm studying would not surprisingly take a very dim view of this.

University welfare worker here. First off, I can't think of a circumstance where being the victim of abuse should count against a student academically; but in any case, the parts of your university that deal with supporting students will generally be quite separate from the academic bits - generally to the extent of being entirely confidential. Even if your course is a programme leading to a professional qualification (like medicine, nursing, teaching, social work or similar), I can't see the fitness to practice procedures being an issue here as you're trying to do the right thing in a difficult situation (although if you were done for fraud, that could become a problem, so as other posters have said, it's really important to be upfront with UC).

I would really recommend getting in touch with any welfare and/or advice provision available at your institution. It may be possible to apply for hardship funding now - often, the pot of money runs from the beginning of the academic year, so if there's any left in it they'll want to spend it. Also, many institutions have put extra funding in place to assist students during coronavirus. Definitely worth asking. They will also often know of local resources which could be helpful.

Who signed the UC application? If it's just you then it'd be just you that could be prosecuted leaving him with no risk but loads of cash. Win win for him.
You shouldn't be worse off if he's still sharing his wages or is he keeping this extra money for himself?
I suspect he's gambling it.

@DHisaDick

Did you say that your credit card debt is from paying off rent which he stole from joint finances to use to gamble, and also to pay off his payday loans? So that debt is his but it's in your name.

What does he say when you tell him his higher wage can now pay off the remainder of his debt?

Do you have proof that those debts were his and you paid them off? You can try to get it back in the divorce. Make sure to be explicit as to his financial situation so everyone will know he is earning and not registered as self employed. It will force him to register and declare his income because, until he does that, you wont be able to get child maintenance from him.

I really do urge you to speak to your university ASAP. They are well placed to support you and may be able to access additional funding that you might not know about - charitable trusts etc.

They may also be able to offer you accommodation, which would make your life a hundred times easier.

@DHisaDick

So I've already made the first phone call to her the ball rolling...

I need to keep any direct debits for anything in my name only leaving my account. To claim universal credit as a single person we have to have separate finances as well.

I'm reluctant to tell uni, the area I'm studying would not surprisingly take a very dim view of this.

I'm fairly certain the work shouldn't be classed as self employed work so I may go down the route of reporting the company in the hope they pay him legitimately

Others may be able to correct me if I'm wrong, but the UC claim was based on your previous set of circumstances, and then your DH decided to claim cash in hand.

The fact that you are trying to separate your finances as far as possible would indicate you are not in agreement with this, and am fairly sure that UC/HMRC don't expect spouses to report each other?

Is there no way you could live with a family member?? Even if I was shielding, if my daughter told me this story I would move her in/ ask another family member

£30 literal cash in hand for helping out a family member with some housework? That seems pretty minimal risk wise and breaking the rules wise. Unlikely to get found out and nobody really gives that much of a shit. Is it dishonest? Yes. Should you tell UC? Yes. If it came to an investigation would you be in trouble? Probably. Would it come to that? Very, very unlikely.

2 grand odd paid by BACS for a full time job whilst claiming? Is it dishonest? Yes, very, should you tell UC? Of course. If it came to and investigation would you be in trouble? Definitely. Would it come to that? Very, very likely.

When you are on benefits they can request your bank statements fairly easily. They can definitely subpoena them no problem. For any and all accounts you and he have, together and separately. This will follow you too, so once you leave there will be financial implications for years to come, you could end up with a criminal record, and credit, and paying a big debt off any benefits you claim in future.

He is financial abusing you and I would argue using coercive control to try and pressure you into committing a crime. If you tell UC what would his reaction be? Are there other problems in the relationship? Either way call women's aid.

Good luck 😊

You don’t need to tell the Uni all the details. Just tell them due to a relationship breakdown you need to move out from the family home ASAP. If there is one thing Uni welfare staff have seen dozens of times its couples in shared accommodation splitting up, students do this regularly.

@Knittedfairies

Your husband is still gambling, he hasn't stopped. He's gambling that he/you won't get caught; he's gambling with your future career prospects too. You need professional advice.

This. With bells on.

He won’t ever change. You need to rip the plaster off this and brave it alone as he is going to seriously fuck you up

Can't you transfer the deposit amount from the joint to your personal one. It was returned to you as your name was on the tenancy. The deposit has now been paid by him as his name is on the tenancy. He was devious, you can be devious.
Move your credit card debt to an interest free one. Use Money Saving Expert for help.
Contact the university. Send like a good call.

Either your DH is an idiot or he is lying to you and setting it up to blame you as the person who was the benefit cheat.
Regardless of the size of the company he is working for, if he is paid by bank transfer, the company will be declaring its payments to him. He will very quickly be contacted by HMRC.
I suspect he knows this and actually will register as self-employed hence why he has changed his wage to his account only so he can claim he didn't pay much attention to the joint account and didn't realise you must have been supplementing your income through universal credit.
He is deliberately trying to keep you stressed and unsettled.
Present him with a fait accompli ie 'I checked and because you're paid by bank transfer then you need to declare your income to HMRC and we need to declare it to universal credit. Since that impacts the money in my account, I've changed the monthly outgoings to your account/the joint account.'
What would happen if you said and did this? Are you frightened how he would react?

@Phoenix21

would it be possible for him to take out a loan or credit card to transfer some of the debt back to him?

reading the thread, there is literally more chance of me winning Miss Universe than this 'prince' doing that! He wont even support his wife(?) and child?

First things first....tell UC as soon as possible that you're no longer wishing to claim as a couple and that you're seeking a Legal Separation. You must do this before they discover it and investigate your joint circumstances. Fraud is deliberate criminal deception. Prove to them that you want no part in the deceit.
Stop making any payments towards your portion of the rent and any other joint outgoings.
The DWP are used to dealing with women that are being financially abused. You're not the first and certainly won't be the last.

I would contact the council and HMRC /UC immediately. He is beyond stupid. HMRC has full access to UK bank accounts. If he's claiming a much lower income than they can see in a bank account in his name, it'll take a maximum of 12 months for their completely automated monitoring to pick it up. If he is saying he is planning to falsify his tax return or not submit one, that is deliberate tax evasion and he could end up in prison. Phone the council and explain everything you've explained, particularly not having you in the tenancy, see if they can help or what they suggest. Complete honest with the authorities is the only way out of this mess.

You should never, ever commit benefit fraud. If you are found out it will stay with you forever. And it's just theft really, from the rest of us who pay tax etc., so really not on. And there is a paper trail, so it's not even a clever fraud.
That said, you strike me as especially organised, articulate, able to assess a situation and as a person trying to figure out some difficult circumstances, so I feel for you and wish you well. Don't let his situation drag you down forever.

Reiterating the pp. I used to work in student support. Please contact the support at your university. You don’t have to explain all the details but tell them you are being financially abused by your partner (which is true) and that you need to move out ASAP but you can’t afford to.

Unless you ask them for help they won’t be able to give you any help. They may not be able to provide accommodation, but there are often little pockets of funding or support that most students would never hear about but are there for supporting in emergencies.

When you go to leave he’ll end up telling them what you’ve done and it will of course be your fault

When you go to leave he’ll end up telling them what you’ve done and it will of course be your fault
Do get in first with reporting change of circumstances to UC before he tries to implicate you.

I may be wrong but if you split I think debt, even in your name would be half his. Especially if you have proof of his pay day loans etc

Hes not violent in any way but if I tell him I'm leaving he will cut off any access to money. If I tell him I refuse to claim universal credit fraudulently, he will cut off all access to money. He already knows something isn't 'right' and hes transferring me the bare minimum for food shopping etc.
Hes not pleasant to have these sorts of conversations with, hes rude, condescending, he gas lights alot. It's his way or no way.

Unfortunately no family have the space. Elderly grandparents have small one bed house, my parents are split up. One lives in a one bed flat, the other is on the middle of doing up the house, it's like a building site and just not suitable to have DD living there. DHs family dont really have the space but they would be my best bet to try move in with. We have a really good relationship but if shit really does hit the fan, it's not me they are going to side with is it?

Uni still has reduced staff, I've emailed my tutor and asked for the details to speak to welfare.
I will discuss with DH registering as self employed again later, but hes already been paid during one assessment period and were into the next one, so its across 2 periods and it's already going to be a massive fuck up to sort.

I have around £8k debt in my name, he has over double that. I dont know if I want to go down the route of 'half and half' because if he decided to give me half of his debt I'll be worse off. Hes not very clued up on anything like this so when it comes to the divorce (he won't pay a solicitor) I'm hoping when it comes to finances well both just part ways with debt in our own names only (I hope that makes sense). He currently seems to think that's fair and theres no way I'm going to suggest otherwise incase he wises up to the potential idea of all debt being joint because of marriage.

I would skip the tutor and just go straight to the relevant service within the uni. Search the website for things like 'welfare' or 'advice service' and you'll likely find it. Whoever administers the Hardship Fund would be a good starting place.

If you'd feel comfortable to DM me which uni it is, I'd be happy to have a dig around their website for anything relevant.

If I tell him I refuse to claim universal credit fraudulently, he will cut off all access to money

So, you make a sole UC claim, which will give you an income (without housing element) immediately. (There won’t be another 5 week wait.) You don’t need to pay the rent. He can do that.

You can get a fee exemption for a divorce or judicial separation application and you can make the actual application. You can do BOTH of those things online today. Gov.uk. That will generate a reference number to put in your UC journal when you tell them you’ve applied for divorce/judicial separation. I helped with a similar case the week before last. The DWP set up sole claims within 48 hours with no further prompting. It was very straightforward.

Also contact Student Support and Women’s Aid (or your local refuge or DV service) and possibly Rights of Women, ASAP. All of this builds evidence in your favour.

If he will deprive you of access to money, Women's Aid are worth a call. They should be able to give you benefits advice based on financial abuse.

You need to take steps to distance yourself from his fraud.