Hopefully the name change has worked as not surprisingly I dont want this linked to any of my other posting... apologies it's going to be long.
Me and DH don't have the best relationship as it is, and when it concerns anything financial it is even worse. He managed to hide serious financial issues and a gambling problem for a long, long time, leaving us in debt we are still dealing with two years later, however he has been gamble free for 18 months.
Up until lockdown DH had a steady job and we were able to cover all household bills and start paying off the debt he had go us into, I am a mature student / stay at home mum to our young DD, plus I provide a lot of childcare for his SD, and do a lot of pick ups and drop offs so DH was able to maintain his full time job. We claim universal credit, dont get a huge amount but its paid into my account and it covers the few direct debits that come from my account (car insurance and credit card payments mainly), we then have a joint account that his wage was paid into so I had access to money when ever I needed it.
The area DH worked in was it hard by lockdown and in early April he was made redundant, he hadn't been there long enough to receive any significant amount of money for that. Because of the debt we are in, monthly repayments are quite high, plus DH pays above the minimum for child maintenance for his DD, the maximum we receive in universal credit when DH isn't working doesn't cover all our outgoings, not even close.
A family member offered to pay me a small amount to do a bit of cleaning for them (£30 a fortnight) to try to help us out a little bit. I fully appreciate this takes me over the amount I can earn before I register as self employed but things were looking very desperate.
Thankfully DH has managed to find work in a new field, very well paid but self employed. This means that although he is paid via bank transfer, it doesn't go through HMRC iyswim, and is basically cash in hand. DH has decided he has no intention what so ever of registering as self employed and has decided that we should continue claiming the maximum amount of universal credit, and just pretend he is still unemployed.
This is making me feel very uncomfortable, as I'll be receiving the maximum amount in UC every month which we arnt entitled to. His new job is very well paid and would mean our UC entitlement would drop significantly. I've explained my concerns to DH and he has decided as I'll be receiving so much UC, he is going to get his new wage transferred into his own personal bank account instead of the joint one, as I will have more than enough money (the bigger expenses we have are paid through the joint account, not my own) and he is just going to transfer enough across to the joint one to cover the rent etc.
Basically this leaves me in a shit position. If I tell UC he is working, quite rightly UC will drop (his new earnings mean it will be less than £100) and I'll have hardly any money and i need roughly £300 a month to cover my outgoings from my personal account. If I don't tell UC he is working, were claiming fraudulently.
I'm in no position to leave right now, though I am planning to before the end of the year, so LTB, whilst an appropriate response really isn't helpful. I cant work right now, DH uses our car for work, public transport where we are now is a bit hit and miss still. I cant afford childcare for DD and I doubt DH is about to cough up for it, I have family near by but they are in the shielding category and it feels a bit unfair to put this upon them.
There is no way I'll get any credit to be able to get money to get me out of this situation any time soon, family can't loan me anything.
The job i intend to go into, that I've been working so hard towards since before DHs gambling fuck up, depends on integrity and I'll never get a job if I'm caught basically committing fraud.
No idea what I expect anyone to say tbh, I'll be surprised if anyone is still reading at this point 