To feel sick with worry over DHs cash job and universal credit

[DHisaDick]

Hopefully the name change has worked as not surprisingly I dont want this linked to any of my other posting... apologies it's going to be long.

Me and DH don't have the best relationship as it is, and when it concerns anything financial it is even worse. He managed to hide serious financial issues and a gambling problem for a long, long time, leaving us in debt we are still dealing with two years later, however he has been gamble free for 18 months.

Up until lockdown DH had a steady job and we were able to cover all household bills and start paying off the debt he had go us into, I am a mature student / stay at home mum to our young DD, plus I provide a lot of childcare for his SD, and do a lot of pick ups and drop offs so DH was able to maintain his full time job. We claim universal credit, dont get a huge amount but its paid into my account and it covers the few direct debits that come from my account (car insurance and credit card payments mainly), we then have a joint account that his wage was paid into so I had access to money when ever I needed it.

The area DH worked in was it hard by lockdown and in early April he was made redundant, he hadn't been there long enough to receive any significant amount of money for that. Because of the debt we are in, monthly repayments are quite high, plus DH pays above the minimum for child maintenance for his DD, the maximum we receive in universal credit when DH isn't working doesn't cover all our outgoings, not even close.

A family member offered to pay me a small amount to do a bit of cleaning for them (£30 a fortnight) to try to help us out a little bit. I fully appreciate this takes me over the amount I can earn before I register as self employed but things were looking very desperate.

Thankfully DH has managed to find work in a new field, very well paid but self employed. This means that although he is paid via bank transfer, it doesn't go through HMRC iyswim, and is basically cash in hand. DH has decided he has no intention what so ever of registering as self employed and has decided that we should continue claiming the maximum amount of universal credit, and just pretend he is still unemployed.

This is making me feel very uncomfortable, as I'll be receiving the maximum amount in UC every month which we arnt entitled to. His new job is very well paid and would mean our UC entitlement would drop significantly. I've explained my concerns to DH and he has decided as I'll be receiving so much UC, he is going to get his new wage transferred into his own personal bank account instead of the joint one, as I will have more than enough money (the bigger expenses we have are paid through the joint account, not my own) and he is just going to transfer enough across to the joint one to cover the rent etc.

Basically this leaves me in a shit position. If I tell UC he is working, quite rightly UC will drop (his new earnings mean it will be less than £100) and I'll have hardly any money and i need roughly £300 a month to cover my outgoings from my personal account. If I don't tell UC he is working, were claiming fraudulently.

I'm in no position to leave right now, though I am planning to before the end of the year, so LTB, whilst an appropriate response really isn't helpful. I cant work right now, DH uses our car for work, public transport where we are now is a bit hit and miss still. I cant afford childcare for DD and I doubt DH is about to cough up for it, I have family near by but they are in the shielding category and it feels a bit unfair to put this upon them.
There is no way I'll get any credit to be able to get money to get me out of this situation any time soon, family can't loan me anything.
The job i intend to go into, that I've been working so hard towards since before DHs gambling fuck up, depends on integrity and I'll never get a job if I'm caught basically committing fraud.

No idea what I expect anyone to say tbh, I'll be surprised if anyone is still reading at this point

And it sounds awful, but if the rent falls into arrears, don't pay it - the tenancy is in his name now, so don't take on any more debt in your own name to cover for him.

He sounds very thick. Do whatever you can to no longer be dependent on this man.

100% stop paying the rent. It’s not your fucking problem. You’re not on the tenancy.

Money paid in folding notes or coins in your hand is cash in hand.
Anything else is not and anyone who thinks different is a fool. Tax and NI needs to be paid.

as others have said op, you HAVE to own up to UC and get out however difficult, sadly there is no other option.

Today

Move all the Direct debits to the joint account. You have no income so none should be coming directly out of your account. You are are a partnership so his debt is yours and vice versa.

Speak to woman's aid.

You don't need us to tell you this is financial abuse OP, you're clearly a bright woman and can see that your DH is behaving disgustingly.

It's, great that you're going to call Women's Aid, but I would also consider contacting the charity Rights of Women rightsofwomen.org.uk/ they're an equally reputable organisation but specialise in helping women with legal issues.

Best of luck, keep using this thread for support, we're here.

UC can ask to see your bank statements - both of your bank statements as it's a joint claim - at any time. Your claim can be stopped if you don't comply. They'd see the payments from his employer, and you'd both be in the deepest of deep shit.

At the very best, you'd have to repay the money you'd been overpaid by. At the worst, you'd be looking at a prosecution and a hefty fine - both of you.

It's really not worth the risk.

While it is (theoretically) possible to go to a single claim while under the same roof, I don't know how much evidence they'd want that you have actually stopped being a couple, or how they'd apportion your rent liability, which could be still regarded as shared. They'd also look into his circumstances and his "self-employment" would come to light.

His self-employed status sounds very dodgy, too. HMRC apply a set of rules called IR35 to determine whether or not someone is genuinely self-employed. He should look these up and see if the nature of his work comes within IR35. Even if it does, he needs to register as SE with HMRC.

HMRC take no prisoners with this sort of stuff, and he needs to tread very carefully.

Don't lie. Tell the truth and claim what you are due.

There are lots of people in a similar or worse position. Hopefully things will improve for you.

It's not worth it. Plus it gives him more power over you. And he sounds like the type to use it. You might think there's no evidence that you knew, but it doesn't sound like he'd back you up on that. You've got more to lose than he does and it sounds like he'd be quite happy to use that.

OP. check with Citizens Advice what your options are, including food bank referrals.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/help-if-on-a-low-income/using-a-food-bank/

Especially if you are able to separate from your DH either by moving elsewhere (Women's Aid or Shelter may be able to help) or if you are "separated" but living in the same home as another PP suggested.

Also I know you're receiving UC but talk to Citizens Advice about what else you can claim. Other sources of information: www.turn2us.org.uk or www.entitledto.co.uk.

Don't let this man drag you, and your daughter, down with him.

My other dilemma claiming as a single person and living with him is that the tenancy is in his name only, but he'll still expect a contribution to rent
My goodness he's a prince, isn't he? Ask him how you can give him money you don't have - especially if you have to rely on food banks (if you get a successful referral).
https://england.shelter.org.uk/housingadvice/homelessness/yoursituation/domesticabuse

But if I dont report him I'm still claiming fraudulently. On paper I guess theres no evidence I know, no texts etc, the money will never come my way but obvs I know hes leaving the house on a regular basis
HMRC have experience in investigating tax fraud and even without the proofs you mention they WILL find out. Then there's that regular bank transfer to his bank from his Emoloyer...

Also I'd suggest you check with credit check/reference companies what debt he's taken out in his name and, more importantly, in yours.
I can only think of Experian and Equifax, but there are others.

Move fast to protect yourself OP. You don't know if investigations may already have started so try and get in front of this ASAP. 🌹

The job i intend to go into, that I've been working so hard towards since before DHs gambling fuck up, depends on integrity and I'll never get a job if I'm caught basically committing fraud

Do not claim! I’m afraid you may have to just let things go unpaid if he refuses to give you the money that he should to cover them, if that results in bankruptcy or bad credit then so be it if you don’t have any property or assets, you already have bad credit because of his debts and/or you’re better off bankrupt then paying off his debts.

As to the thirty quid. Though technically this is not within the rules it was essentially a favour from a friend, a gift, in return for a favour. Ok that might not fly with the job centre but it’s not the same thing and you are not ‘as bad’.

As you're a student, I'd suggest a discussion with the University chaplaincy. This is in addition to all the other suggestions you've had above! They're generally very good both at beign a listening ear, and in accessing support you're not aware of, and universities by their nature are used to dealing with skint people with complex living arrangements.

This isn't instead of all the options you've been pointed to above, but an additional source of support.

I agree with everyone else that the long-term consequences of a fraud conviction will follow you far longer than any other outcome from this. And that HMRC will find out.

Hi OP

I'm glad you plan to call Women's Aid today. This is definitely financial abuse and it's important that you contact them.

Several PPs have given advice about claiming UC as a single person while still living with him. This is a very complex area and you should proceed with caution. The DWP will want evidence that you have separated. A joint account indicates that you are still living as a couple and sharing finances. In theory if you could close the joint account and live separately under the same roof (sleep in separate bedrooms etc) you could claim as a single person who is separated but still living together. But in reality, given that he is abusive and he was unpleasant when you separated in the past, I don't think you are going to be able to separate and continue living together. I think the absolute safest option - from the point of view of your physical and emotional safety, and being able to claim UC as a single person without any issues - would be for you to move out.

If you are willing to report the abuse (preferably to the police but a reference from women's aid might do) then you would have evidence which would make you eligible to apply for homeless assistance and social housing.
england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/homelessness/your_situation/domestic_abuse

I really think you need to get out of there as soon as possible, close the joint account, separate from him physically and financially. For advice on practicalities, your local Citizens Advice and council should be able to help, and for advice on legalities, the Rights of Women family law helpline should be good.

You should be entitled to legal aid too provided you have evidence.

Randommess has the best advice. I know it’s scary. I would gird my loins to live separated in the same house, and not offer him anything towards rent. He wasn’t planning on feeding his children. If he asks just say it’s only temporary, they are still your children, it would be good if we could sort out maintenance now if you wanted to talk about finance.

"Also I know you're receiving UC but talk to Citizens Advice about what else you can claim."

There is nothing else apart from student finance and financial support from her university. I think the Gingerbread website has some advice about finances for single parents who are students.

You’ve married an idiot. Does he not realise that he’ll go to jail for this?

In your place I would start looking for a job and somewhere to live.

Up until lockdown DH had a steady job and we were able to cover all household bills and start paying off the debt he had go us into, I am a mature student / stay at home mum to our young DD, plus I provide a lot of childcare for his SD, and do a lot of pick ups and drop offs so DH was able to maintain his full time job.

This statement indicates that you dont work or provide into the household but you do that so he can "maintain" his full time job?

We claim universal credit, dont get a huge amount but its paid into my account and it covers the few direct debits that come from my account (car insurance and credit card payments mainly), we then have a joint account that his wage was paid into so I had access to money when ever I needed it.

Why isnt this paid into a joint account im guessing you get UC not as a single parent, so he has to put his earnings into a joint account you can take from but you get the benefits?

The area DH worked in was it hard by lockdown and in early April he was made redundant, he hadn't been there long enough to receive any significant amount of money for that. Because of the debt we are in, monthly repayments are quite high, plus DH pays above the minimum for child maintenance for his DD, the maximum we receive in universal credit when DH isn't working doesn't cover all our outgoings, not even close.

So here is where your circumstances changed and your DH is quite stressed by the sounds of it, it sounds like you resent him for the debt but your quite happy to complain about it rather than support him

Thankfully DH has managed to find work in a new field, very well paid but self employed. This means that although he is paid via bank transfer, it doesn't go through HMRC iyswim, and is basically cash in hand. DH has decided he has no intention what so ever of registering as self employed and has decided that we should continue claiming the maximum amount of universal credit, and just pretend he is still unemployed.

So tell him that you will inform UC that he is self employed and working and your UC entitlement will decrease, it looks like only you will not benefit from this as its you that gets the UC into your account

Basically this leaves me in a shit position. If I tell UC he is working, quite rightly UC will drop (his new earnings mean it will be less than £100) and I'll have hardly any money and i need roughly £300 a month to cover my outgoings from my personal account. If I don't tell UC he is working, were claiming fraudulently.

Get a job? Plenty of us work round children

My university has a hardship fund,

Definitely try that.

And good luck getting rid of your awful DP.

UC will ask for both your bank statements at some point and then they will claim back everything they have overpaid you. You need to update your claim asap.

Once you are claiming as a single person you can contact StepChange and look at getting debt interest frozen and making lower repayments.

Do you need the car? I would drive it somewhere and hide it assuming it is in your name etc. If it's on finance can you switch it to something cheaper or return it?

Good luck talking to Women’s Aid today OP, I really hope they can offer help and support.

Your DH is a complete idiot and his employer is an idiot and dodgy. If they are paying him without a UTR (his Unique Tax Ref) or on PAYE it will be picked up at audit and HMRC will be involved because the company will be liable for the tax that DH should have incurred if they can’t recoup, and they will come for DH too, traced via his bank account.

He sounds dishonest and horrible to live with. I hope Women’s Aid can assist you to leave him ASAP so that you can be free, have control over your own life, and enjoy the future you have studied for.

Fingers crossed and good luck!

If this was at all possible, I would -

Ask family if I can stay with DC when shielding is over, so in 6 weeks time.

Look for somewhere to rent. You may have to use a hardship loan for the deposit.

Get all credit cards changed to 0%.

Start a new life with DC in a new property in time.

T.Credits will help you with childcare.
I know its scary but it is doable.

I have been there, along with many many others.

Hate to say it but I was in the jury for a case where the defendant was a woman whose husband committed benefit fraud but put everything into her name, including other debts, then left her.

"T.Credits will help you with childcare."

OP is claiming UC and can't claim tax credits, but she can get help with childcare costs through UC, up to 85% is covered.

There might also be childcare help available through her university.