Guys who say 'I need a woman who can challenge me'

[Stella8686]

Is this ever a good statement? Do men think that women find it an attractive profile line?

Is it just me who reads it as
'I wore down my ex so much that she died a little inside and never spoke up for herself, therefor it's her fault the relationship broke down'

Extreme example above but AIBU to discount guys who say this (online) does anyone like this statement?

@Iamthewombat

Here’s what it means:

“Whilst I go on and on about MYSELF I want you to listen intently then ask ME challenging questions about MYSELF, concentrating on MY successes, so that I can talk about ME even more. I expect you to help me to see MYSELF from a different angle.”

Run! You will never have a minute’s peace.

😂😂🤣

@Stella8686

Is this ever a good statement? Do men think that women find it an attractive profile line?

Is it just me who reads it as
'I wore down my ex so much that she died a little inside and never spoke up for herself, therefor it's her fault the relationship broke down'

Extreme example above but AIBU to discount guys who say this (online) does anyone like this statement?

Omg this describes my relationship with my bellend of an ex!!

Not looking good, oh well. Going to be a spinster

'Wanting a woman who is his equal and with opinions of her own, not afraid to speak up, and will make him think/re-assess his own views.'

This shows a pretty poor attitude towards women! He needs a really special one to be able to 'challenge him'.

Don’t people who want someone who ‘challenges them’ just enjoy a bit of verbal sparring and critical debate? They’re looking to have their way of thinking challenged, play with ideas, expand their mental horizons?

That being said, it’s one thing to enjoy those things, it’s another thing to state “must challenge me” as a requirement on a dating profile. I enjoy that sort of thing in a man/relationship but I don’t think I’d specify it as it sounds a bit wanky. You can determine if someone is intelligent when you chat to them.

We had been chatting for a while, we met OLD

We were chatting on WhatsApp but he's not reading the messages now.

He has a new account on POF it wasn't there before. I'm on there but my profile is hidden.

He's a single guy he can do what he wants,

Don’t people who want someone who ‘challenges them’ just enjoy a bit of verbal sparring and critical debate? They’re looking to have their way of thinking challenged, play with ideas, expand their mental horizons?

I see so many people claiming to want this, but it's astonishing how rarely they seem to look like they're having fun when it happens.

No you won't Stella

And better single than with a wanker.

It's almost as bad as 'looking for a partner in crime'

At best it means 'I think I'm really clever and most women can't compete with me'.

@Ninkanink.

You are lucky you each value the other.....my experience of intelligent & powerful men is that they like their women dumbed down at home...so wife/ gf having a good in career is fine, usually tho not successful enough to outshine him & often panders to him in a one to one. I've been criticised (by female friends) for being too independent & suggested to me that I not mention my career so I have a better chance at first impressions. My career is good but not stellar & I earn enough but not megabucks.

Those kind of statements by a guy suggest to me that he has in mind 'a type' & if you aren't it when he starts with you, he'll try to turn you into it because that's what he likes..

Or maybe he means it in the bedroom context....in which case it could be a lot of fun 😉

@Daftodil

I would read it either as "I think I'm better than 99% of women I meet. Could you be that lucky 1% that can come within touching distance of my massive intellect?" Or "I'm a massively argumentative bell end". Either way, I'd probably avoid...

Yes, that.

He probably thinks he's very very special. The other women in his life were just so average.

YANBU I cannot stand these 'you're not like other women' types.

I read the ‘I need a woman who can challenge me’ as: ‘I am and argumentative, opinionated shit stirrer, I will tease you in the most awful way, and if you dare not to entertain this and laugh off my shit jokes, I will say you CAN’T TAKE THE BANTER and are really boring’

I dont think you're missing much OP. He sounded a bit Alan Partridge to me.

I hate the "looking for someone to keep me on my toes" or "keep me in line". It just means "I'll behave like an arehole then make out it was your fault because you didn't keep me in linw"

Bald, red faced, thick necked, tight t-shirt wearing Roid Rage FailDads are like ‘no fat women, no nagging bitches, no bleeding heart libs, you must parent my traumatised kids from day 1, no one older than 19, no slags’. 😀 omg, sign me up!!!
(Nothing wrong with bald, but it’s always the bald AND red faced roid males that are fucking furious at existence)

Sounds like something you say in an interview because you play the game to get the job not because that is the real you. Insincere and full of shit.

It makes me think that they think very highly of themselves, and assume that most people (women?) can’t match them intelligence wise or be as interesting as they are. Conceited twats in other words.

How awful.
Twat alert.
Run for the hills.

Ugh
You can do better than that!

Massive bell-end, run away fast.

I would read that as "I'm trying to show that I know it's not the 1950s any more."

The problem with the stuff on dating profiles is you have to remember that they wrote it themselves and not a neutral third-party.

There is a huge difference between being described as someone who relishes intellectual debate and being the kind of person who describes themselves as someone who relishes intellectual debate!

I read it as 'I'm a selfish prick who got away with doing shit all for anybody but myself when I was with my ex, because she was a doormat and did everything for me as she didn't want any confrontation. Now I want a woman who bosses me around and tells me how and when to do things exactly the way she wants, as I can't adult without constant pushing and supervision, and also because it kind of turns me on'

So you can see why they shorten it for a dating profile

Could also read it as 'I am a bit fuzzy on the difference between aggressiveness and assertiveness but I am very clear that I want arguments+make-up sex'.

I've been thinking about it and I am more and more sure that I would be repulsed by such a dating profile. I don't really want to be required to be 'challenging' at home. Sounds like a job advert for working as a support worker with young offenders. I want quiet, civilised chatting with a reasonable adult about this and that. I certainly don't want to have to challenge anyone about their share of household chores!