AIBU to say that cycling mainly appeals to a certain demographic of men and they don’t understand that it’s quite boring for wives / partners / general public?

[spokeinthewheel]

I can’t remember when it all started really, but my DH, like many men, has got hugely into cycling in recent years - to the extent he does competitions / charity rides all around the world, this kind of thing. Now, on the one hand, I’m delighted he’s found a way of relieving stress and keeping fit that suits his age (he’s upper 40s). He’s looking great from it, which is not a bad thing. He’s met loads of people through it as well, so good for him. I don’t mind when he goes off on 150 mile rides or whatever, as our kids are all 12+ now (we have 4).

I can’t really put into words what irks me, but there’s something about cycling and men of this age that is bordering on the mildly self-obsessed. I don’t just mean DH, I mean all the friends he has. They all congregate here a fair bit. They go on about shaving time off their records on some hill; or types of wheels etc. They are all on powder protein shakes and they go in about this as if it’s the end all and be all. They are on group chats too and there’s loads of them and they’re always doing stuff for charity. I know it sounds quite harmless and it is really, but I just find it a bit much. Of course there a far worse things they are doing and I realise this.

Basically, even when they’re cycling on their own, they are in a race on an app called Strava. Their are various routes all over the place everywhere and your time is logged. So DH will go out in the morning and come back and say he’s now first place in such and such in Green Park or some hill halfway to Brighton or something like that. Then one of his friends will be out trying to beat this time. And it just goes on and on, And they talk at length about their injuries too. We have 5 bikes in the garage and a ton of bric-a-brac parts. Sometimes he’s on certain diets so this is another thing, and when they congregate here, he asks me to make certain museli bars for them all (no I’m not joking). Or otherwise, they want this banana bread I make with yogurt. They are also quite competitive about their business interests and I do find it a bit cringe to be honest, even though they’re all perfectly pleasant in general terms. AIBU? DH is always watching videos about cycling too and planning his next trip. I don’t mind, but I do find it boring to be perfectly honest and I’m thinking about telling him not to go on and on. I don’t do on and on about my Pilates, for instance. I just go and come home.

And this is why cycling clubs are excellent if you want to meet a man.

dontdisturb - I am assuming that's a typo at the end, though some might disagree!

Its not the cycling, its the obsession and not giving time to other things ie family/ non cycling friends. It could be any hobby but cycling seems to be one of those hobbies where it particularly becomes a problem.

Oh and teach him to make the muesli bars and banana cake .....

I think he has mistaken you for his support team OP . How about he bakes his own special snacks and spends time with you/the family that doesnt revolve around cycling?

As far as conversation goes, what do you both want to talk about?

@WhatWouldDominicDo

I think cycling is the new fishing: a way for men to get away from their wives and families for a whole day under the guise of having a meaningful hobby.

This

Oh and on the comment that it's boring and not 8nterested in joining them, your husband wants to include you in things that makes them happy, is this so bad?

I decided to follow my OH and we cycle together too. He is so supportive of my own performance. When I decided to try triathlons, he was there to cheer me up and I could see how proud he was, even though he isnt into triathlon. It meant so much to me.

Yabu. I cycle. I am female. As far as hobbies go, it sounds very harmless, as well as healthy and not damaging for the environment.

I don't cycle in races though, but just to work, and for exercise. So maybe I'm not a proper cyclist to some.

Cycling is more important now than ever given reduced public transport capacity due to covid-19. I encourage everyone to try it!

Dontdisturbmenow "Women are not as ambitious and success-driven as men."
What utter tosh!

I completely sympathise OP. Luckily (?) my DH isn't into any kind of sport 😂, but those MAMILs do annoy the hell out of me when they insist on cycling in groups of 5+ on narrow country roads because cycling paths are beneath them

It isn't that 'cycle paths are beneath them' it is that cycle paths are universally shit in the UK. They usually last for a max. of a mile, and within that mile they will veer off into kerbs and crossings and make it totally unfeasible to actually cycle any distance on them.

a couple of MAMILs got up and proclaimed that they wouldn't use said cycle path anyway*

To be fair 99% of cycle paths in this country aren't exactly fit for purpose. It'd be like using B roads to get from London to Leeds rather than the M1!

I am a Strava bore!
I think hope the only people who get to hear about it who actually don't want to are my kids, but then I have to listen to them bore on about Fortnite or whatever music they're into so I call it quits.

I'm mainly a runner and me and my running mates compete via Strava, keep up with what we're doing, encourage each other etc.

I love to see how my cycling has improved over time.

I wear lycra.

I don't think I'm doing anyone any harm. I am nearly 50.

@lemonsandlimes123 Says it all she's absolutely right.

Some men need to grow up and understand it's only a hobby and not everyone cares.

The whole post is pretty sexist, presuming women don't do these things

Women as a rule tend not to assume their spouses and children will leap at the chance to spend a family holiday traveling to the Caucusus to watch them do a cycle race, cheerlead them daily through their training schedules and want to hear ad nauseam about their PB and how they finally beat Maureen and are Queen of the Mountains, or ask their husbands to bake a specific type of energy bar so that they can host large groups of hobbyists in the house.

I know quite a few serious women athletes -- triathlon, marathons etc. They are extremely serious about their training and diet and preparation for a race. Not one of them assumes their spouse and offspring wants to get a blow by blow account of their speeds, expects their events to dictate family holidays, or allows it to dominate family life.

I cycle to get from A to B as i don't drive. I do find MAMIL types baffling. You'd never see them cycling to work in the pouring rain. It reminds me of the bit in Back to the Future when someone from the Wild West says 'run for fun??'

My DH is constantly spending money on cycling stuff. Despite the fact he is a typical MAMIL who will never be remotely competitive he can't go out unless head to toe in lycra, with protein shakes and energy gels, his bike computer on, special shoes, bags full of extra bits of lycra for changes in weather conditions, etc etc. Then he comes home and puts his bike on a special stand where he uses special cleaning stuff to clean his bike, then it has to be placed in its own spot hanging on the garage wall and locked down with a chain that looks like it would hold the incredible hulk.
I honestly don't mind. We can afford it and he enjoys his hobby, and it keeps him fit. I would mind if he planned his rides without being considerate of me, or not allowing me similar freedom to have my own interests. I do enjoy watching professional cycling but there's no way I travel to watch him race!

Do you mean MAMIL's

There are lots of those around. I just wish they would fit bells to their bikes and use them.

I don't think it's just cycling. One of my best female friends is a keen club cyclist, but she doesn't go on about it. Many men do become obsessional about their hobbies in a way that most women don't. And it's the fact it becomes all they want to talk about. When my DH latches on to an interest it's all consuming. It was golf, then running for quite a few years, until his knees gave up, then a couple of other things and now it's painting. He's taken up painting and it's all he does and all he talks about. I wish he'd take up something useful like cooking or gardening. I do those things, and any DIY, to a high standard but I don't rattle on about them.

Well I'm female have 8 bikes. One of which is permanently set up to a turbo trainer in the middle of the dining room so I can do Zwift training on bad weather days.

I'm converting an outbuilding into a turbo studio though as dh and dd moan about the noise in the house.

I don't rabbit on about it to dh though. I don't tell him my ride times, etc. He doesn't cycle.

One of my friend’s husbands is a Cyclist very much with a Capital C. If he isn’t out riding for all the daylight hours , he’s with his mates maintaining their bikes, or competing over their bloody Strava statistics. She’s pleaded with him to spend time as a family , because she might as well be a single parent , and was accused of being controlling , and a nag . He has NEVER seen one of his DC’s play rugby and he’s been doing it for nearly 6 years.

He’s got a shock coming. Her parents are loaded and they’ve built a house on their land for her to live in. Had he ever gone with her to visit the family over the last year , he might have noticed . Her and the DC’s move in next month.

I'd rather that than a football obsessive any day

I cycle, do triathlons, and wear lycra. We are going on a sports holiday next year, and do travel to places to do events.

I think there are people who are very boring and annoying about all sorts of things, and expect them to take over family life - I know Am Dram bores, childrens football obsessives, families where everything revolves round the cricket season or dance competitions.

You don't have to listen to, take part in, or enable other peoples activities if you don't wish to. My dh is puzzled by my urge to swim in lakes, so beyond a polite 'how was it' we don't talk - but he will support me if I discuss going to do an event. And if he doesn't fancy sitting on a beach trying to work out which orange blob in the sea I am, I perfectly understand it too

YANBU

But this isn’t about cycling - you could apply it to any sport or hobby.

Your DH is going on about it too much and needs to STFU

As I said in the opening post, I really don’t resent the fact that he’s keeping fit. I’m delighted he’s found a way of stress-relief and thank god for that. He’s been into cycling for years and I’ve never once stopped him going on a ride, He goes off for weeks at a time sometimes and I’m happy for him. Cycling is very ubiquitous where we live (SW London). I would say most of my friends’ husbands do it to some extent. So I don’t want to sound mean and like I begrudge him anything. But he’s just said, they’re going in a ride on Friday and apparently it’s “our turn”’ (ie me) to host when they return. I’ve got four teens doing home school and I could do without it, to be honest. It’s not that I don’t like them or anything like that at all. I’m just not in the headspace for it, if that makes sense?

What I am talking about is Colin from Chertsey wearing a lycra all in one covered in branding and 'sponsorship' as if he is taking part in the Tour De France.

😂😂

What horrible men. Having a passion for something. How dare they get off their arses and do something they enjoy that keeps them fit and healthy.