AIBU to say that cycling mainly appeals to a certain demographic of men and they don’t understand that it’s quite boring for wives / partners / general public?

[spokeinthewheel]

I can’t remember when it all started really, but my DH, like many men, has got hugely into cycling in recent years - to the extent he does competitions / charity rides all around the world, this kind of thing. Now, on the one hand, I’m delighted he’s found a way of relieving stress and keeping fit that suits his age (he’s upper 40s). He’s looking great from it, which is not a bad thing. He’s met loads of people through it as well, so good for him. I don’t mind when he goes off on 150 mile rides or whatever, as our kids are all 12+ now (we have 4).

I can’t really put into words what irks me, but there’s something about cycling and men of this age that is bordering on the mildly self-obsessed. I don’t just mean DH, I mean all the friends he has. They all congregate here a fair bit. They go on about shaving time off their records on some hill; or types of wheels etc. They are all on powder protein shakes and they go in about this as if it’s the end all and be all. They are on group chats too and there’s loads of them and they’re always doing stuff for charity. I know it sounds quite harmless and it is really, but I just find it a bit much. Of course there a far worse things they are doing and I realise this.

Basically, even when they’re cycling on their own, they are in a race on an app called Strava. Their are various routes all over the place everywhere and your time is logged. So DH will go out in the morning and come back and say he’s now first place in such and such in Green Park or some hill halfway to Brighton or something like that. Then one of his friends will be out trying to beat this time. And it just goes on and on, And they talk at length about their injuries too. We have 5 bikes in the garage and a ton of bric-a-brac parts. Sometimes he’s on certain diets so this is another thing, and when they congregate here, he asks me to make certain museli bars for them all (no I’m not joking). Or otherwise, they want this banana bread I make with yogurt. They are also quite competitive about their business interests and I do find it a bit cringe to be honest, even though they’re all perfectly pleasant in general terms. AIBU? DH is always watching videos about cycling too and planning his next trip. I don’t mind, but I do find it boring to be perfectly honest and I’m thinking about telling him not to go on and on. I don’t do on and on about my Pilates, for instance. I just go and come home.

Omg you're so right - cycling is the new darts/pub. I live in the Chilterns and counted 52 cyclists the other day between my house and my Mums, a 9 mile drive. It's ridiculous.

Might be unfair but I just think of all the families they're avoiding.

he asks me to make certain museli bars for them all

My husband wouldn't have the brass neck. He doesn't ever mistake me for a doormat.

he asks me to make certain museli bars for them all

I would suggest that if he can balance and pedal at the same time, then he can mix up dates and nuts himself too. I say that as a cyclist and a home baker!!

When cycling, why should I pull over because someone else's vehicle is too big for the road? Why is my slowness more important than someone's choice of a too-big vehicle? Plenty of people have vehicle that don't fill the road so badly. Choose something that suits the roads you travel on.

@spokeinthewheel are you the poster with the husband who wanted to bog off on some 6 month trip to the arctic or some such bollocks? If so, I'll echo what people said then and suggest you LTB.

Unfortunately OP, your husband is a bike-wanker. We have loads of them round here - blocking the roads while they travel in packs in their shiny lycra gear, on their expensive bikes.

@Goosefoot you said if the roads were too narrow and cyclists should move over, implying that if they rode single file as opposed to two abreast you’d try and squeeze by without going into the other lane. This is dangerous and exactly why cyclists shouldn’t ride in the gutter.

I’ll pull in if I know it’s narrow (single track sort of thing) or particularly wiggly for a while if there is a suitable side road or lay-by and there are a couple of cars behind me (but not going uphill). What I will not do (and tractors won’t either) is just stop, get off and mount the verge so you can go on your merry way because you are impatient.

I’d rather be stuck behind a cyclist that one of those motorists, usually in a Honda Jazz, that drives really slowly when it’s bendy but then speeds up on every straight overtaking opportunity. At least on the flat on my bike I’m unlikely to get above 25mph, maybe slightly more downhill, but overtaking a bike on a straight bit is easier than a car that suddenly decides they can manage the speed limit after all.

[quote lampygirl]@Goosefoot you said if the roads were too narrow and cyclists should move over, implying that if they rode single file as opposed to two abreast you’d try and squeeze by without going into the other lane. This is dangerous and exactly why cyclists shouldn’t ride in the gutter.

I’ll pull in if I know it’s narrow (single track sort of thing) or particularly wiggly for a while if there is a suitable side road or lay-by and there are a couple of cars behind me (but not going uphill). What I will not do (and tractors won’t either) is just stop, get off and mount the verge so you can go on your merry way because you are impatient.

I’d rather be stuck behind a cyclist that one of those motorists, usually in a Honda Jazz, that drives really slowly when it’s bendy but then speeds up on every straight overtaking opportunity. At least on the flat on my bike I’m unlikely to get above 25mph, maybe slightly more downhill, but overtaking a bike on a straight bit is easier than a car that suddenly decides they can manage the speed limit after all.[/quote]
I'm with you!! 🤜🤛🚴‍♀️🚴‍♀️🚴‍♀️

Women could go out for 4 hour rides too, but it always seems to be women who facilitate men's hobbies rather than the other way round.

Woman can and do go out for 4 hour rides, absolutely no reason not to - if that’s what they want to do.

I cycle with many woman who aren’t chaining themselves to a kitchen sink somewhere

Common sight round my way is sofas and armchairs causing congestion

Women could go out for 4 hour rides too, but it always seems to be women who facilitate men's hobbies rather than the other way round.

Those women need to stop martyring themselves. I know plenty of female cyclists.

Dh is a cyclist. I facilitate that. I paint. He facilitates that. It's a partnership.

There are loads of women who cycle. What a ridiculous thread. OP your DH is a selfish self important twat, that he is a cyclist is irrelevant.

I'm a woman and I'm going on a bike ride later. Am single so I am facilitating it ALL BY MYSELF! And I'm going to wear Lycra.

I think all hobbies are great, but going on about them to people who are not involved can be v dull (especially golf).

Hi, sorry I hadn’t realised the thread was still going.

TrickOrRuddyTreat - yes . He is the one who was planning to go on an Arctic expedition some years ago. How did you remember that?? (He didn’t go in the end, btw. I had to draw the line there)!

Also, I apologise if I’ve offended any female cyclists and obviously women cycle too, but I was just commenting on what I observe in my particular local environment, for the most part at least.

How did you remember that?? a combination of his misogny and your apathy sounded really familiar. I remember feeling sad that you let him treat you more like an employee than a partner, you come accross as a lovely person who doesn't want much from him but he has so little respect for you it's infuriating.

I feel like you stay because you see him as not as bad as some really abusive blokes but honestly, you'd be better on your own than being his hired help.