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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex has a wedding photo up

118 replies

Bugeyedgirl · 21/06/2020 21:10

Ex and I split up and it was a very bad break up. We do not speak and he doesn't see our child ever, hasn't for 8 years through he own choice.
I saw on Facebook he has a picture from our wedding on the wall, just him and his father. His father is still alive, so they could easily take another photo. I looked to see if he put anything up about father's day as he abandoned his child because normally there is some "alienated father's" post.

He is married and has been with his wife for nearly 10 years!

Aibu to think this is weird? No way would I have a pic of that day on my wall, in my wedding dress etc.

OP posts:
harriethoyle · 21/06/2020 21:12

Why are you looking on his Facebook?

Redshoeblueshoe · 21/06/2020 21:13

That is weird

Newbie1999 · 21/06/2020 21:13

Maybe he likes the photo of him and his Dad? Not weird IMO.

Original poster
Bugeyedgirl · 21/06/2020 21:15

@harriethoyle I said why on the post.

OP posts:
Heismyopendoor · 21/06/2020 21:15

I’d imagine to him it’s just a nice picture of him and his dad. You aren’t in the picture so I don’t see the problem? And obviously his current wife is happy with it too.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 21/06/2020 21:17

I dont thiNk it is weird. They would have both had their hair done, wearing nice suits and feeling good about themselves. And theyd have been ready for photos, Relaxed, posing etc. Its probably one of their best photos together.

Block his facebook.

NotIncandescentWithRage · 21/06/2020 21:19

It wouldn’t bother me as it’s him and his dad in (what I assume is) similar clothing.

Different maybe if it were you in a wedding dress and your mum but I couldn’t really get annoyed about it.

SavoyCabbage · 21/06/2020 21:19

I don’t think it’s weird. It’s a photo of him and his dad that he likes. He either doesn’t associate the photo with the wedding, he’s still in love with you and he’s chosen this way to announce it or it’s Father’s Day and he’s put a photo of him and his own dad on his own social media.

Pebblexox · 21/06/2020 21:20

Yabu.
My favourite photo of my mum and I is from my wedding. If me and dh were to divorce, that would still me my favourite photo of us so I wouldn't think twice about sharing it.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 21/06/2020 21:20

It would be odd if it was a picture of you and him, but he obviously likes the one with his dad. Is there any reason why you still look at his posts on FB after all this time?

Notverycreatiive · 21/06/2020 21:22

If he doesn't see your child.. why are you friends on Facebook? If you're not friends, why are you looking at his profile? It's been 8years? Stop looking..You also said usually.. which is implying you check often? That's weird.

For him, it may just be a picture of him and his father that he likes?

BluebellForest836 · 21/06/2020 21:22

Stop being nosy. Why are you bothered about what crap he posts on Father’s Day.

I presume it’s a picture of him and his dad he likes.

BluebellForest836 · 21/06/2020 21:24

@Bugeyedgirl - you said why you look but it’s still odd that you’re looking at his Facebook Confused

Out of the two of you... it’s you being the odd stalker one.

Original poster
Bugeyedgirl · 21/06/2020 21:24

I looked because he walked away. In previous years he has put up posts about being alienated from his child on father's day at my fault. Which is bullshit. He still slags me off over there.
Part of me wonders if this is why he used that photo.

I am sore about it, I don't want that relationship back but my child goes without a father and I get the blame publicly. It isn't fair.

OP posts:
Pebblexox · 21/06/2020 21:25

Also you've been separated for at least 10 years. Stop looking 😬

Original poster
Bugeyedgirl · 21/06/2020 21:25

I don't check often, I check on father's days each year. To see if he will post something about our child or slags me off again.

OP posts:
Pebblexox · 21/06/2020 21:27

Honestly if you have no contact just leave it in the past. It sucks he doesn't have anything to do with your child, but it's his loss.
Block him and move past it all.

BluebellForest836 · 21/06/2020 21:27

Block his Facebook and move on. 8 years have passed at least.
I very much doubt he even gave it a second thought when he posted it and I’m sure he doesn’t care what you think either, maybe get some counselling to deal with these issues

Browzingss · 21/06/2020 21:27

I think it’s weird that you stalk his socials, stop studying your ex’s (of 10 years) posts. The bottom line is you’re only hurting yourself

SpilltheTea · 21/06/2020 21:28

There's no good that can come from looking at his Facebook page. I don't think it's weird he has the photo up, it could be his favourite picture of him and his Dad.

Original poster
Bugeyedgirl · 21/06/2020 21:29

@Notverycreatiive I never used the word usually.

OP posts:
Browzingss · 21/06/2020 21:30

It doesn’t matter if you only check it once a year. Let’s be honest, you’re catching up on everything he posted in the year since you last checked. The fact that this is an annual tradition for you is unhealthy as fuck

Samtsirch · 21/06/2020 21:30

It sounds a very insensitive thing to do, but I would just stop looking at his Facebook if possible.
You are only going to find things which upset or anger you.Try to redirect your energy into giving your child and yourself a great life.

Mrskeats · 21/06/2020 21:30

I don't think there's much wrong with snooping o. Facebook.
There is a lot wrong with abandoning your child though. How horrible.

VenusTiger · 21/06/2020 21:32

I'm guessing you're doing nothing about his accusatory posts on FB OP? If not, why bother checking? Either settle it and post a comment saying it's all a lie and your family can back you up on the facts, OR, stop looking. Don't look, get all riled up and then do nothing about it year after year, you're just going to get yourself into a mess for a long time to come.