Ex has a wedding photo up

[Bugeyedgirl]

Ex and I split up and it was a very bad break up. We do not speak and he doesn't see our child ever, hasn't for 8 years through he own choice.
I saw on Facebook he has a picture from our wedding on the wall, just him and his father. His father is still alive, so they could easily take another photo. I looked to see if he put anything up about father's day as he abandoned his child because normally there is some "alienated father's" post.

He is married and has been with his wife for nearly 10 years!

Aibu to think this is weird? No way would I have a pic of that day on my wall, in my wedding dress etc.

I don't think it's weird. He likes how he and his dad look in the pic together, the photo didn't have you in it. People don't have just one photo with someone and that's it, people have pics from across the years. He probably doesn't think of you when he sees that picture at all.

It is weird that you are stalling him and so hung up on this though.

Why is it unusual to want to know what the father of your child is doing? I would guess even though OP is divorced, he is still on the periphery of the DCs life and whilst not involved now, that could change in a millisecond if he suddenly gets a conscience and wants to get access. Surely if you have a child with someone, whether they’re involved or not, you can’t just ‘move on’ and forget he exists.

I used to really care when my ex abandoned my children, It hurt so much I tried to get him involved in my kids lives. He too would do what your ex does and write crap on Facebook and claim he was stopped contact.
His family also wanted nothing to do with them.
I was so upset at the time. Then one day I just stopped caring.
I realised my kids really are better off without spineless uncaring idiots in their lives, with me they had stability and everything they need, no waster coming in and out of their lives messing their heads up.
You are doing the job of both mum and Dad and its something you should be proud of yourself for OP. You clearly really care for your child being abandoned by their father which is completely normal for any parent, It can take a long time to get over what has happened to you and your child I hope it clicks one day for you as it did for me.

I agree @Livelovebehappy

That's terrible bug
Glad to hear you have other good people in your life. They sound dreadful.

That's a lovely post pinkcrayon

This a prime example of the degree to which women overthink!!

Well @bubbleup it’s the last decent photo of my grandparents together before my grandad died. And the one of my daughter in her bridesmaids dress well my mum paid for the dress, paid 50 grand for the wedding, paid 100 quid for the canvas then paid a lot towards the divorce when she left him for a guy from work 10 months into the marriage so excuse her if she doesn’t bin the picture

@bubbleup never paid settlements she paid my sisters mortgage for months after she left her husband so she never lost her house. And the one I’ve kept is a gorgeous pic and that’s why I’ve kept it hth

[quote Bugeyedgirl]@harriethoyle I said why on the post.[/quote]
You Didn’t.

@Mrskeats

I don't think there's much wrong with snooping o. Facebook. There is a lot wrong with abandoning your child though. How horrible.

Yes indeed.

Though confirm abandoning vs being blocked from child’s life by a jealous vindictive mother. Latter I’m seeing a lot of.

It’s not a ‘wedding photo’. It’s a photo of him and his dad and it happens to have been taken on the day you got married. He likes the photo of him and his dad. He is not reminiscing about you. He isn’t hoping you secretly stalk his FB and will see it. It’s a photo of him and his dad. Nothing more

If he wants to reach out and see his child he will do that. If the only way he does this is by putting a post on his own Facebook page then that isn’t him reaching out, that is him making stuff up for show. So there is zero benefit in looking.

(And the photo is just a nice picture of him and his dad. It is not weird)

if he's been with current partner for 10 years, i think its weirder that your stalking him on facebook than the photo,
It's not as if the photo is of the two of you - and a man's wedding suit is generally less full on than brides wedding dress.

What's with all the weirdos jumping on the OP for daring to be curious about the man who walked away from the child she's now raising alone ??

It's not as if she's stalking her neighbour is it ?

Are things so bad in your own lives you've resorted to pulling this woman to bits ? Have a word with yourselves FFS 🙄

Lol at all the people on here who apparently haven’t snooped now and again at someone’s Facebook!

But OP I think it’s just a picture he liked don’t let that stuff get in your head.

he’s an asshole for not seeing or supporting his child.

@WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo lol right! I don’t know anyone with Facebook who doesn’t have a cheeky snoop at someone’ they don’t see or don’t like etc facebook.

Animal exactly...........they're weird as fuck and need to ask themselves what they get out of behaving like that..........in can't help but wonder what the children of parents like this behave like towards others when they're bring raised so poorly.

The op shouldn't be explaining her very understandable actions to anyone. She has every right to be curious.

İf looking at people on the book of face is being a stalker then we should all delete Facebook

Looking someone uo on fb out of curiosity is normal. The op making an annual event out of looking up her ex of ten years just to upset herself every fathers day and then overanalysing a total none event of a photohraph he has of himself in his house in the background of a photo is not normal at all and only hurts the op. Its been 10 years she needs to get over it. Yes its shit he abandoned his child but that was his decision. How does it help op or her child to think her hurting her own feelings every year by not looking him up to see what hes up to, but looking up to see if he has mentioned her or her child? It doesnt.

I still have a photo up from my brother’s first wedding. Just us siblings. I couldn’t stand his first wife and he has subsequently remarried to someone I really like. But I am still fond of the photo.

No that's not right either poke
Unless there's abuse etc

Ryan absolute poppycock.

The poster asked if it was odd to still have a wedding photo up.

All she got was a load of oddballs make their shit little lives seem a bit better by giving the op a load of abuse for daring to stalk the man who abandoned his child on Facebook. There were a few kind suggestions that she moved on but let's face it, most were that kind. They were being dickheads.

Hopefully they're raising their children to be a better version of them and not the type to give abuse someone when they obviously aren't In a brilliant place emotionally.

Bugeyedgirl, my father was also a deadbeat and I haven't seen him since I was 13. I don't miss him, very rarely think about him, and I see how brilliant my mum was for raising us on her own.

I looked at his Facebook once and honestly felt nothing.

Please try not to keep opening the wound and feeling guilty about your son not having a father. We don't need these useless men in our lives, I promise you.